(no subject)

[degenere]

FORM: sending crystal
SENDER: Val de Foncé
RECIPIENT: Riftwatch
NOTES: unrelated to anything

A question of great importance: who is the most interesting person in Riftwatch?

I am composing a list, which I very easily could make alone. But that is not amusing. So, the winner of the list will of course receive a prize. An extra point will be awarded to a Rifter, quite obviously. Points deducted for, hm, [totally at random here,] let us say.... Wardens. I have nothing against them. Once I admired them! Then I had my sixth birthday, and I grew bored with them.

All suggestions will be considered.

Comments

[aventuriere]

I don't know that I agree with this scoring system, Valentine. A Rifter who is deathly dull on his own merit might still be found interesting simply by virtue of being a Rifter and having strange Rifter notions, whereas the same man having stumbled in from anywhere else in Thedas wouldn't merit a moment's attention. If anything, they should be deducted a point because they unfairly benefit from the novelty of their nature.

[degenere]

I knew you would argue this!

Why should a Rifter not benefit from his novelty? It might be his one and only point in the game. Whereas a man stumbling from anywhere else will have other points that will put him very naturally above Monsieur Snooze, the Rifter. If anything, it is a spirit of charity that has inspired my scoring.

[pittance]

[ fair ]

Does the judge participate?

[degenere]

I could not give myself the prize. How vulgar.

[windyvoice]

Agatepenny.

Willing to fight about it.

[degenere]

How interesting, I do not know her.

[bloodandsand]

Dear de Fonce, that's an entierly too difficult question! Riftwatch is made of nothing except interesting people, how is one meant to choose?

[degenere]

Well. Some are not very interesting.

Your spirit does you credit, mademoiselle. But that is the fun of the game, you see. To rank, and make decisions that are difficult, and thus arrive by the best ranking.

[glandival]

I submit you include a negative modifier for Orlesians.

[ --says a lady with an Orlesian accent, too broad to be faked. ]

[degenere]

I had thought of that, yes. We-- [we, so Orlesian and inclusive] --have such an innate quality of being that it is nearly unfair to include any Orlesians at all. A negative modifier might help to even the field of play.

But then again, I cannot deprive the top of the list of such names. Truly, I cannot.

[doneisdone]

Might as well ask which maggot is the slimiest. In the end, they're still all maggots.

[degenere]

Madame, even maggots can be ranked. Show me some and I will do it for you. Are the largest not most likely to survive? So they will be seated at the top of the list.

[wythersake]

Now, some maggots are surgeons, which —

Come to think of it, hardly disproves your point.

[bouchonne]

Foolish question. I am.

[degenere]

How fortunate! My project is complete and my problem is solved. This is very good and has saved me a great deal of work.

But you must tell me your qualities, please. Do not be modest of your greatness.

[positioning]

Maybe you tell us more of this prize and it will inspire us to make suggestions.

[degenere]

Oh, hm. I had not decided yet. A dinner, certainly. A very fine one. And perhaps... a sapphire. Of medium size at least.

[muckspout]

Do you mean interesting or interesting?

[degenere]

I mean both, if it can be managed. Given our company, I am doubtful, but I am always pleased to be surprised.

Have you any suggestions?

[cozen]

Interesting to who?

But regardless, [ decisively, ] it is Ser Lucien Amour Lyon du Lyon.

[degenere]

Do you not agree, that there are certain qualities that are universally found to be interesting? A man with a scar upon his face, even if he is scorned for his rough appearance, or feared by small children, will provoke interest nonetheless. This is what I seek to identify. The irresistible interesting.

In fact, I know that you would not argue with these points, for you have identified a man who embodies this. Ser Lucien. Of course he will be included. He must be. Our hands are very nearly tied.

[sulahnan]

Bastien, because he has a story for every situation.

[ A thoughtful hum. ]

All of the rifters.

[ Outta left-field, that. ]

Or Capt--Commander Flint.

[pittance]

See, this is what I'm talking about, that tourney idea. You just have to list all the Rifters.

[degenere]

Bastien, bon. He seems charming enough to have earned his inclusion. Whereas the commander is interesting enough to have earned the same, but may refuse inclusion.

And must we have each of the Rifters? Should they not be ranked?

[wythersake]

[ dinner for wysteria huh ]

That enormous new Marcher. I believe he was made Guard Captain — surely he's something to discuss.

Of course there is the lady qunari. I don't believe I've heard her speak, so she must be hiding a mystery or twelve.

[degenere]

I have seen him! He is a brick shithouse, as they say. Perhaps dull of wit but interesting of experience. It is a good suggestion.

And I did not know that we had a lady qunari of our number besides. How intriguing. I think that we would be remiss not include her as well.

These are both excellent suggestions, monsieur. I think you are a very apt observer.