The Inquisition's records regarding what to do with us if we all die are incomplete. Obviously half of you do not have any family—

[ Coming next month: sensitivity training.]

—but if you would like your remains or your belongings handled in a specific way or given to a specific person, there is a form in the Senechal's office. Or I can write it down for you, if you tell me how you would like your mummy dressed.

The deadline is at some point before you die. So you should do it this week.

[ Salvio—poor Salvio—has actually done something to deserve this, and that something was asking Kostos to make this announcement in the first place. ]

[ Let it be said that Alistair has backed down from all manner of challenges and dares and weird games of chicken, if they were stupid and he wasn't in the mood, but also let it be said that he hasn't backed down from this specific one. ]

I know we're all very busy preventing the world from ending, but if I could have a moment of your time for some important questions—

First, I need to know what sorts of things you consider good-looking, in a man, generally speaking. It doesn't matter if you're attracted to men or not, before anyone feels the need to explain their love lives to me. I only need to know what sort of man-faces you think are pleasant.

And then I need to know if you think Byerly Rutyer is good looking enough to make up for not being a nice man.

And he'd also like to know how much money each of you have. I think that's important for you to know before you answer the nice man part.

( The voice is muffled for a moment, and presumably the crystal was activated a little early. )

Do not fret, Sestra. It is steady. Be resting.

( And, more clearly: )

We are on mission in Hunterhorns. Only two for stealth, but we are needing help for bringing our quarry back to the Kirkwall. Sarah was very brave and kept our captive from escaping, but her ankle is much broken, now, and she is very bad at steering the lizard horse.

So what do you actually do for fun around here? Besides drinking or sex. [ Because she already knows the joy of those, obviously. ] Do you have hobbies.

I miss my niece. She is... tiny angel, Kira. I am glad she is not here, for her, and the brother-sestra and mother who would be missing here if she was away, but I wish she was here for Sarah.

( A pause, and— )
And me, also. She sees always the good, I think.

Who... Rifters, if you could be wishing for people to be here, who would you choose?

I have sestra who is eating no meats. This is strange to me, but I like it in her. She is... thinking much, ready to starve self to save other creatures. Cosima is kind, I think.

( She says, as if Cosima can't hear this. And, a swift amendment, ) Sarah is kind, also! Both of my sisters are very good. They give... home feelings.

( Anyway, let's not get weighed down talking about that. )

There are different animals here. I am curious what the hunting of them is like.

Be telling me: have any of you eaten the dragon fleshes?

Inquisition since some of us are…sharing so much, then I wish to share something that's finally come together. For those old enough. [Or not, she's not your mother just don't come crying to her if you feel sick.] I put a still together months back, I procured the milk of several pigs, and now I have Jagga. Or close to. [Is that pride in her voice? Happiness? Could you even picture a smile on her face if you've had the dubious fortune of crossing paths with her long enough?] If you feel brave enough to try fermented milk instead of your wines, your meads, your ales, whatever else you wish, ask for Brónach. It has a kick to it, only for those who think themselves daring.

[Does she sound a little drunk? Maybe. It's been more than six months sober in Thedas and now she can finally slam something back, she wasted zero time in getting the session started.]

If the drinking isn't your thing or maybe you want a challenge, I've become a huntswoman here. [Or: how to justify disappearing for several days for a time, coming back with a deer over your shoulders, rabbits in your pockets, anything else your murderous hands can get covered in blood that isn't yours, the Green Pact Guide to Life.] But I wonder: how many of you know how to hunt? What it means. Or do you see the meat at the market and buy it? Or the leather on the stall. Maybe it comes cooked or shaped into whatever you wish so you never see it as it was, red and bloody or warm and supple in the hand. Allow me to teach you, if you will. How anyone can fight full of grain and potatoes is beyond me, and you should appreciate where it comes from, what others do to put the food on your plates. Give me your name, a day that suits, what skills you have. [A pause, quiet, considering.] If you have any. Or questions. There are always questions here.

Hello! This is Brother Jehan. Ambassador Amsel has had the wonderful idea to speak to rifters about their views on the Chant of Light. As you know, your presence here has caused a great deal of debate and concern within the Chantry. But while it has been very easy to find out how many in the Chantry feel about you—

[ Like, that they need phylacteries. ]

—we have not yet taken steps to find out how you feel about the Chantry. Knowing where everyone stands might help us facilitate solutions to some of Chantry’s concerns.

( There is a pause, which is probably enough of a hint about one of the others with him. “Dramatic Pause” Amsel, they call her. Longest pauses in these parts. For those unfamiliar: calm, controlled, Starkhaven. )

Thank you, Brother Jehan. Alongside that, we would like to find out what information concerning the Chantry and the Andrastian faith you would like better explained, or to more understand. Rather than putting you on the spot in the interview, I encourage those willing to participate to reflect on this in advance. If you think of something later that you did not mention at the time, please do not hesitate to let us know.

We cannot… fully grasp what it is to find yourself in a world not your own, no matter our empathy or interest. If there is information we can offer you, in turn, we would be glad to do so.

[ And Kitty quickly interjects, her wording a touch less formal than that of the other two - ]

And this isn’t one of those awful surveys where people are going to show up and be, like, Oh, what’s wrong with you that you don’t believe in this that and the other, your life’ll be ever so complete if you just accept the and so on and so forth. No ulterior motives.

( There may be the faaaaaaintest suggestion of a hint of a possible smile in her voice. )

Just so. It benefits us all to work together, and for the Inquisition to be able to continue its efforts in this war. That is what the Diplomacy Division works towards, in this endeavour and all others.

If rifters would oblige us, you may come to the Chantry office to answer our questions directly or to take a written copy to return at your leisure. We would appreciate it very much.

( Read more... )

What do you guys miss the most from home? I miss... [ a small, longing sigh ] Decent music and decent booze, mainly.

Hey, um. So. Hypothetically. Has anyone seen a small and unsupervised dog in the Gallows recently? Big ears, short legs, usually answers to "Franklin" unless there's something distracting nearby?