So Kostos —

[ see she can be charitable and give credit to people who don't want it as a way to brag ]

— Said and I think it's a really good idea, that we ought to be studying the stuff that comes through portals. Because there's like a whole project and everything, but I think we've all been more focused on making sure our hands don't fall off.

So, if you're a Rifter, did anything come through the portal with you? If you're not, have you found anything from one? What about people who vanished, do you know if they left anything behind?

[ belongings, or meat chunks ]

Also say if we can we borrow it for some tests, and if it's alive whether it's got an anchor, or if there's anything else about it that seems, uh, 'Fade-Touched'? That's what you guys call magic, right?

And if you want to help more than answering questions, let me know! Or if you've got better questions, or if you're doing it already. We should totally team up.

On the eve of our move to Orlais, I think it best to review a few things, namely what is to be done in war when your enemy offers a surrender.

[ good evening, inquisition. ]

As our enemy is somewhat lacking on the honor front, please consider first and foremost if the surrender is a trap and an attempt to distract you. Second, we cannot extract from them the traditional oath that they will cease fighting for Corypheus and earn parole, as was done during the War of the Lions, so any prisoner we take will be housed, fed, and clothed with the Inquisition's coin until the end of the war. There will be no ransom accepted from noble prisoners for this same reason.

Third, we cannot take as prisoner any darkspawn or visibly infected Red Templar forces. If a darkspawn offers a surrender, please see the first point. We also do not have the ability to cure or safely house anyone seriously infected with red lyrium without risking an outbreak.

[ he's pretty sure that's everything, so: ]

With these in mind, the acceptable prisoner is of rank, either on their own or in Corypheus' forces. Their absence will be noted, either by their kin, who will develop a different view of the war because of it, or by being useful for a prisoner exchange, should any of ours fail to come home.

I or the other division heads will be able to answer questions on this, but remember to never, ever risk yourself for the glory of a possible capture. We are not trophy hunting, we fight a war.

[ to just cosima, alexandra, and casimir, later in the evening: ]

If Casimir and I may borrow a moment of your time. I would like to know if there has ever been a case of those in your worlds increasing the mortality rate of a disease to prevent its further spread, and if so, how it went.

The Inquisition's records regarding what to do with us if we all die are incomplete. Obviously half of you do not have any family—

[ Coming next month: sensitivity training.]

—but if you would like your remains or your belongings handled in a specific way or given to a specific person, there is a form in the Senechal's office. Or I can write it down for you, if you tell me how you would like your mummy dressed.

The deadline is at some point before you die. So you should do it this week.

[ Salvio—poor Salvio—has actually done something to deserve this, and that something was asking Kostos to make this announcement in the first place. ]

I know you're all busy—

[ but not so busy they can't have a party that, from what she glimpsed before retreating, involved yarn whips and toilet seats, so she doesn't feel too bad about straying away from the subject of the war ]

—but can someone tell me if Thedas has any stories about people coming from the sky? What do people know about space?

So what do you actually do for fun around here? Besides drinking or sex. [ Because she already knows the joy of those, obviously. ] Do you have hobbies.

So, okay, alright. So I don’t know if you got vampire bats in this world, but just hear me out.

( The dulcet tones of the lone Inquisition Australian. G'day, etc.
Perhaps the thud of glass on wood can give some indication of where the fair doctor has found herself, this evening, if the rowdy voices in the background don’t also over some clues. )

About… thirty-odd years ago, in my world, this bloke called Wilkinson observed this behaviour in vampire bats, where if they’d managed to consume excess food, they’d some of it to help feed a bat who was going hungry. And at first, this was reckoned to be a thing that was familial, just helping, right? But it wasn’t, they were doing it for any bats, and they was especially likely to exhibit this behaviour to help out a bat who’d helped them previously. Reciprocity, and all that kinda good thing.

And then, people… we operate with reciprocity too, right? It’s part of evolution, reciprocity is a basis for— for all kinds of society. Reciprocity is in our bloody holy books, sometimes, “do unto others,” and all that. It’s a sacred part of society.

( She makes a quiet sound, amused. ) Reciprocity and gossip, yeah? ‘Cause how are you gonna find out someone’s a real piece of work who doesn’t reciprocate and help without gossip to shred their reputation? And that’s what these crystals are so good for, yeah? Communication, the sharing of information and some good, old-fashioned gossip. Any excitin’ gossip to share, anyone?

( A long, slow exhale. )

Anyway, point is that vampire bats are great, and this dickhead over here is a bloody moron who doesn’t hold up his end of a bargain when he loses a drinking contest.

( Ah. ) Oi, dickhead. Yeah, mate, you - what’s your name again?

Greetings... It is Rani Lakshmibai.

[ Right, that out of the way. ]

I have two matters which I need a moment - [ Here we go. ] - I have recently been made Head of Community Outreach, for which I'm honoured. I wish to a little more to understand where I might be applied in helping others, but as yet many things still escape me as where help might be best applied to those that need it. If you have a moment to speak with me, in person, I would be much obliged. My Quarters are in the Gallows.

[ Onwards then, because who works and doesn't overwork? Not her. ] Secondly, and for rifters amongst us... I have spoken with Master Barnabas, a merchant here in Kirkwall, and I realised that whilst what many of us bring in terms of items here can be desirable and turn a good profit for it's... foreign nature. Such things are short-term investments. [ And that as far as she's concerned, is a waste. ] As such, I am looking for women or men, of moderate skill in weaving textiles and who can take direction easily, to join me in such work. You will be paid, though primarily, all extra earnings are to be funded back into the Inquisition. I intend to work things that no part of Thedas has seen before, and feel we are uniquely qualified for such an endeavour.

If such a thing is in your ability, please enquire.

[ Somewhere, her husband is following her about, tugging at her hair and laughing. ]

That is all. My regards.

Inquisition since some of us are…sharing so much, then I wish to share something that's finally come together. For those old enough. [Or not, she's not your mother just don't come crying to her if you feel sick.] I put a still together months back, I procured the milk of several pigs, and now I have Jagga. Or close to. [Is that pride in her voice? Happiness? Could you even picture a smile on her face if you've had the dubious fortune of crossing paths with her long enough?] If you feel brave enough to try fermented milk instead of your wines, your meads, your ales, whatever else you wish, ask for Brónach. It has a kick to it, only for those who think themselves daring.

[Does she sound a little drunk? Maybe. It's been more than six months sober in Thedas and now she can finally slam something back, she wasted zero time in getting the session started.]

If the drinking isn't your thing or maybe you want a challenge, I've become a huntswoman here. [Or: how to justify disappearing for several days for a time, coming back with a deer over your shoulders, rabbits in your pockets, anything else your murderous hands can get covered in blood that isn't yours, the Green Pact Guide to Life.] But I wonder: how many of you know how to hunt? What it means. Or do you see the meat at the market and buy it? Or the leather on the stall. Maybe it comes cooked or shaped into whatever you wish so you never see it as it was, red and bloody or warm and supple in the hand. Allow me to teach you, if you will. How anyone can fight full of grain and potatoes is beyond me, and you should appreciate where it comes from, what others do to put the food on your plates. Give me your name, a day that suits, what skills you have. [A pause, quiet, considering.] If you have any. Or questions. There are always questions here.

[ Kitty's voice is a touch hesitant as she puts out this request: ]

Hullo. I need some clothes. [ And then, a bit more fiercely: ] Clothes that aren't stupid. [ A huff, and then with the strength borne of anger over having to wear clothes made for an office professional: ] I haven't got money to pay now, but I will in the future. Or I've got a bunch of office supplies, and I guess they belong to me or whatever, so I've got the right to barter with 'em.

Anyway, so, I'm a bit tall, and sort of a bit thin, and I'm a girl, thanks, so I don't want anything frumpy or frilly or awful, and I don't want anything weird. Just normal clothes, clothes that'll make me look normal.

[ A beat. ] And a knife, too, I guess. For, erm, eating with. [ She will be using it for stabbing with. Finally: ] Eurgh. This is weird. [ ANYway. A sigh, and with that awkward sign-off, she stops the transmission. ]

[ This is the first time Six has ever used the crystals for her own message to people and she's a little hesitant - it doesn't help that there's a wriggling ball of mabari puppy in her arms desperate to either bite at it or kiss her jaw. She can't quite decide which one it is. ]

Good day. If there is anyone who has experience in raising a - stop - Mabari who would be willing to give advice, I would be glad to hear it. I did not think I would get one so young, but...

[ But he was so cute, and Six has a soft heart, even for an animal that's going to be a war companion. ]

You have my thanks in advance.

[ PRIVATE TO ADALIA ]

We need to speak.