crystal.

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone around the Gallows
WHAT: A survey
WHEN: Nowish
NOTES: This is only partly my fault

[ Let it be said that Alistair has backed down from all manner of challenges and dares and weird games of chicken, if they were stupid and he wasn't in the mood, but also let it be said that he hasn't backed down from this specific one. ]

I know we're all very busy preventing the world from ending, but if I could have a moment of your time for some important questions—

First, I need to know what sorts of things you consider good-looking, in a man, generally speaking. It doesn't matter if you're attracted to men or not, before anyone feels the need to explain their love lives to me. I only need to know what sort of man-faces you think are pleasant.

And then I need to know if you think Byerly Rutyer is good looking enough to make up for not being a nice man.

And he'd also like to know how much money each of you have. I think that's important for you to know before you answer the nice man part.

Comments

[indissection]

I've found that there's nothing objectionable with Byerly's appearance. He's pleasant enough to look at.

[byblow]

That wasn't one of the questions.

[bouchonne]

Also, since he rudely declined to include it: do you think that Alistair is good-looking enough to make up for his general...mien.

[byblow]

I'll answer: I'm not.

[heirring]

[A single, deeply emphatic UGH!]

[byblow]

I agree.

[ Wait. ]

I think.

[ Is that ugh for him or for Rutyer. ]

Maybe.

[coquettish_trees]

[ lightly: ]

If I admit to preferring man-faces with the sort of set that comes from sometime being obliged to dip into being unkind, would that answer your second question as well?

[heirring]

Oh Alexandrie, you don't.

[Tragedy! Disgrace! Horror!]

[coppelganger]

I don't know the guy you're talking about, but no, having a pretty face doesn't make up for having a shit personality.

[byblow]

Does it have to be complete shit? Could a nice face make up for a personality that's just a little bad? Or does it not help at all?

[shri]

[ what's this? An invitation to drag Byerly for ten minutes? ]

A man without a beard is hardly a man at all, and little above a boy. How anyone could be attracted to someone without one is beyond me. If he has one, it should be well taken care of, as should all of him. His clothes should be neat, his hair taken care of. His breath should be sweet and I would prefer him articulate. Due to my own inclinations, he should be a warrior and possessing of a deep sense of honour. Nice matters only half as much as that.

[ and because she knows he's a little rat bastard that is working out how to use this information. ] For whatever boxes Rutyer might tick, he's an utter scounderal otherwise. Also, he seems immune to wear his clothes properly. It's distracting, like watching a child that hasn't learned to tie his laces properly.

[ ahem. ] - I've also been very rich and very poor. I am a rifter of modest means, at present.

[bouchonne]

[ hEY ]

I have a beard!

[byblow]

That's—that's a little harsh, [ not to Byerly, just in general ] don't you think? The beard part. I know a lot of men without beards.

[doneisdone]

No.

[byblow]

To which part? Men having nice faces? Rutyer? Money?

[pyrazine]

He's not. Not even close.

[byblow]

We also have to know what sort of face you enjoy on a man, so we can tell whether that's coloring your answer in anyway.

[elegiaque]

No.

( TO ALL THE ABOVE. )

[bouchonne]

My dearest Gwenaelle!

[swordproof]

I find strength attractive. Determination. A kind heart. [ A frown. ] I have not met Byerly. Is he those things?

[heirring]

Oh, he's dreadfully determined. Downright relentless.

[rowancrowned]

Strong cheekbones, hair longer than his shoulders at least, a confident set to the shoulders. The suggestion of laughter lines at the eyes. An archer's build.

[ how can you say elven without saying elven. ]

Byerly seems clean enough. Is he seeking to court within the Inquisition? We have a shortage of dowered ladies here.

[bouchonne]

Maker's breath, no. I'm just looking for a charming companion who can pick up a bar tab. I'd sooner have my throat cut than be wed.

[chainlightning]

Who?

[bouchonne]

Now, this comment is hurtful. Fair lady, you are cruel.

[faithlikeaseed]

[a little tiredly,] Are you going to parade him around for those of us who haven't seen him yet to judge?

[byblow]

And spend that much time with him? Absolutely not.

[limier]

Quiet. Quiet faces. Has he been unkind to you?

[bouchonne]

He has. Terribly unkind.