crystal.

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone around the Gallows
WHAT: A survey
WHEN: Nowish
NOTES: This is only partly my fault

[ Let it be said that Alistair has backed down from all manner of challenges and dares and weird games of chicken, if they were stupid and he wasn't in the mood, but also let it be said that he hasn't backed down from this specific one. ]

I know we're all very busy preventing the world from ending, but if I could have a moment of your time for some important questions—

First, I need to know what sorts of things you consider good-looking, in a man, generally speaking. It doesn't matter if you're attracted to men or not, before anyone feels the need to explain their love lives to me. I only need to know what sort of man-faces you think are pleasant.

And then I need to know if you think Byerly Rutyer is good looking enough to make up for not being a nice man.

And he'd also like to know how much money each of you have. I think that's important for you to know before you answer the nice man part.

Comments

[indissection]

Nothing that I didn’t take in stride. For all his supposed faults he was nothing but a gentleman.

[coquettish_trees]

He has always enjoyed granting himself more wickedness than he has.

Have you known him long, then?

[indissection]

It seems to be something I should keep in mind when we speak. [ She continues, airy, gentle. ] Not very long. I’ve only recently come to the Inquisition.

[coquettish_trees]

Indeed so. Do not let him get away with it.

[ This one seems like a clever enough woman to not let Byerly get away with being... Byerly. Which is good. And slightly irritating. And good. ]

Welcome to the ranks of us dreamers.

[indissection]

He’ll have to try a mite harder, I think.

[ That makes her pause, though, curious. ]

Dreamers?

[coquettish_trees]

Please excuse my doubtlessly unwarranted pessimism.

I was in Minrathous when Corypheus attacked, you see.

[ beat ]

Which is hardly as interesting as eyebrows.

[indissection]

Certainly not. Eyebrows are far more thought provoking than a discussion of anything to do with Tevinter, even with Corypheus in the equation.

[coquettish_trees]

Ah, but perhaps we should consider the merits of discussing Corypheus's eyebrows.

[indissection]

Does he have eyebrows to comment on? I've never seen his face.

[coquettish_trees]

[ a pause ]

You know, I have only seen him from afar. Let us speculate. What manner of eyebrows do you think a Red Lyrium ridden villainous Magister returned from the forgotten bowels of time to destroy and reconstruct our world in his twisted image of it might have?

[indissection]

Terrible ones. Bushy and uncared for. Dreadful.

[coquettish_trees]

[ she makes a noise of agreement ]

I am sure you are correct. Assuming he has both. I have read some of the accounts from Haven that seem to suggest that near half his face is taken by the terrible crystal. Perhaps he only has one!

Would that be better or worse, do you think? It does mean less beastly mess upon his face, but simultaneously it also makes him terribly lopsided.

[indissection]

Surely that depends on whether or not the one is shaped over one eye or branches across his entire face.

[ A thoughtful noise as she considers. ]

I think, perhaps, the terrible crystal might upset the balance either way.

[coquettish_trees]

Andrasté miséricordieuse, what if his one eyebrow were to be terrible crystal?

[indissection]

I do not think there is any hope for him. He must be killed before the trend spreads.

[coquettish_trees]

Absolument. This, then, is the true mission of the Inquisition.

[indissection]

I am glad to see there are some people with sense here, at least.

[coquettish_trees]

It is mutual gladness.

Do tell me who I am speaking to, who has such a level head on her shoulders?

[indissection]

Sidony Venaras, of Nevarra City.

[coquettish_trees]

A pleasure, to be sure. Are you recently arrived, Lady Sidony?

[ A guess; the woman's accent is markedly upper class. ]

Ah! What poor manners I have. Lady Alexandrie de la Fontaine, but you must call me Alexandrie.

[indissection]

Recent enough that I might still consider myself somewhat new.

[ It's obvious enough, but she doesn't mind. ]

It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Alexandrie.

[coquettish_trees]

Tell me they do not have you staying in that horrible blocky fortress.

[indissection]

I am staying where there is space. Most of my time will be spent in the infirmary - sleeping is of no concern to me.

[ Translation: yes, they do. ]

[coquettish_trees]

[ she makes a brief grief stricken noise ]

An intrepid soul!

Do come and visit with me in Hightown at some juncture so you may relieve your eyes from their arduous duty of seeing those buildings.

I refuse to call the island by its given name. How awful it is.

[ beat ]

Let us rename it!

[indissection]

It is serviceable enough. I have a room and a wardrobe and my handmaiden - what more could I ask for?

[ A decent bed, really, and a larger room, a sitting room... A nice fireplace to lounge in front of... ]

What sort of name do you think would be better fitting?