[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[samahl]

A woman after my own heart.

[aceso]

Indeed? We should share stories. Though I haven't, ah, known Sam in the intimate sense as it were. But we are great friends, and I tease him mercilessly about the unfortunate circumstance of him being born a Fereldan.

[el_tybs]

You know I can hear this. I am seriously going to have to work on this to make it more challenging for you two and your club.

[aceso]

[ She's had a lot of wine today. Give her a break. Ordinarily she wouldn't be saying anything, but... ]

Yes, do. We cannot have you blush at the smallest compliment. People will confuse you for a blushing virgin.

[el_tybs]

[He bites his tongue at the last bit. That's... not completely far off even if he isn't one.]

Actually maybe I shouldn't. Perhaps you'll get bored instead if it's easy.

[aceso]

[ Cheerfully: ]

Only time will tell! Now, do tell me more about this Cyril. You two sound like you know each other well.

[el_tybs]

... Have you not met Cyril?

[aceso]

No, I haven't. Is this a great faux pas?

[el_tybs]

Faux pas? What? No.

[aceso]

You seemed surprised I did not know him.

[samahl]

I like challenges so you're welcome to try.

[el_tybs]

Now that I've said it I'm not sure how one actually tries to do that.

[samahl]

By listening to me and realizing that you're beautiful.

[el_tybs]

Is that you volunteering to teach me not to blush so that you have more of a challenge?

[samahl]

Hasn't that been what I've been doing from the start?

[el_tybs]

No, I'm pretty sure up to this point you've just been trying to see how red and how long I can stay that color.

[samahl]

Well, true. While also encouraging you to believe in yourself.

[samahl]

I'm afraid I won't go into details about that particular story, but any of the times I've manages to get him flustered after that would be fair game. You and I seem like we'd make a good team, for when he does work on it and make it more challenging.

[aceso]

I would be happy to plot alongside you! Really, all I have to do is give him a genuine compliment, and he becomes so flustered! Such a sweet, humble man.

[samahl]

I know! You'd think he's never looked in a mirror the way he responds to being told how handsome he is.

[aceso]

Usually I am all for a man knowing how handsome he is, but on Sam it is endearing for him to not realize it.

[samahl]

Have you ever asked him to compliment himself? He'll talk a lot about his skills but never once mention his eyes, or jaw, or hair, or arms... At least he knows he's talented.

[aceso]

I haven't, but I must try it someday, once he forgets our plotting.

We are healers together, and I've often complimented him on his skill there too. A man of many talents.

[samahl]

He really is. I enjoy watching him at the forge, for instance. It's worth it to deal with the heat to see the way his back and arms look when they work.

[aceso]

You know, mages where I come from do not come with muscles like that. He is truly unique.