collection of vital intelligence

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: IMPORTANT
WHEN: Now, whenever, time is an illusion
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Threadjacking strongly encouraged.

Urrrgent question: what's the most charming way you've ever been flirted with? And the least charming. Or the most and least charming ways you've ever flirted with someone else.

I know how this sounds, but I really am asking for a friend.

—if you know any good puns, share those, too.

That's all. Thank you.

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

The least charming I've done, apparently, was to fall backward and insist someone catch me.

[A beat.]

He didn't. The least charming I've received has been a slow look up and down and a suggestion that I was 'pretty enough for some fun.' I'm more than pretty enough for a great deal of fun, thank you very much.

And then the best... I draped myself over his desk, robes open, and informed him that I'd like to retake the oral portion of that day's exam. Best received was when someone pulled my hairtie out and played with my hair after I gave them permission to touch anywhere.

[failedfirst]

Really, that's what you think is your least charming? Do you not remember what you said when we first met?

[justice_is_blond]

That I like women with facial tattoos? It didn't end in my ass on the ground, so I thought that wasn't quite as bad.

[failedfirst]

I was referring to the comment you made about how if I'm a "looker" imagine what my younger sister looked like.

[justice_is_blond]

Did I say that? It's been years and I can't remember everything that's come out of my mouth.

[failedfirst]

Well it wasn't Nathaniel.

[justice_is_blond]

It could have been Oghren. Likely not Jonas.

[failedfirst]

Most of Oghren's comments were more direct than that. And no, Jonas did not behave in such a way.

[byblow]

[ Quietly, more directed at Anders: ]

Oooooooooo.

[ But also, shut up Alistair, if putting one's foot in one mouth weren't a metaphor you'd be out of teeth, etc. ]

[justice_is_blond]

So now you tell me your worst, then.

[byblow]

I don't flirt.

[justice_is_blond]

Please. I live in a camp with you. I know you flirt.

[pinprick]

...That wasn't a move. [But he's beaming.]

[justice_is_blond]

Yes it was. And you dropped me.

[byblow]

I swear to Andraste, every time—

[justice_is_blond]

Of course you swear to Andraste every time. Who else would you swear to?

[byblow]

The Maker.

[justice_is_blond]

There are comments I could make here but I'm refraining and I hope you appreciate my restraint.

[byblow]

I'll appreciate your restraint when you stop getting sap all over everything.

[pinprick]

The hair thing wasn't a move, you know what I meant. Though I'd forgotten about the swooning bit. You have to admit you were asking for it.

[justice_is_blond]

I don't know, it did wonders. And I was asking for many things back then, none of which you gave me. I had to wait for your standards to drop.

[pinprick]

My standards didn't drop. I came to my senses.

[justice_is_blond]

You've no idea how flattering that is to hear, love.

[pinprick]

I'm not trying to flatter you. I'm trying to be honest.

[It occurs to him that he's arguing against Anders being flattered. That's pretty silly.]

When do you get back?

[byblow]