collection of vital intelligence

[byblow]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Alistair
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: IMPORTANT
WHEN: Now, whenever, time is an illusion
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Threadjacking strongly encouraged.

Urrrgent question: what's the most charming way you've ever been flirted with? And the least charming. Or the most and least charming ways you've ever flirted with someone else.

I know how this sounds, but I really am asking for a friend.

—if you know any good puns, share those, too.

That's all. Thank you.

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

So now you tell me your worst, then.

[byblow]

I don't flirt.

[justice_is_blond]

Please. I live in a camp with you. I know you flirt.

[byblow]

I don't mean it. It doesn't count as charming or not charming if I'm not trying.

Ginette kissed me because she dropped a necklace and I sorted through some bloated darkspawn corpses to find it. It was very dramatic, straight out of a novel. I couldn't touch her at all because my hands were covered in—you know. So I stood there like—

[ Anders cannot see his demonstration of holding both his arms out helplessly, but he suddenly sounds further from the crystal on account of it, so maybe he can imagine. ]

[justice_is_blond]

You can't be that bad at it. You share a room with Zevran.

[But he suddenly sounds a little less sure of himself.]

[byblow]

I didn't say I was bad at it.

[ Rude. ]

But I've spent a lot more time with Chantry sisters than with Zevran, if you add the days up.

... And I asked Leliana if she was female, once.

[ Maybe he's bad at it. ]

Private

[justice_is_blond]

Oh, sweet Maker, Alistair. Could you use some sort of... help?

Private

[byblow]

No! I'm really asking for someone else.

I do all right. Or I would do all right if I tried. I'm—you know.

[ The Alistair. Even if no one who actually knows him is impressed. Though not wanting to take advantage is half the reason he hasn't gotten any in going on two and a half years. ]

[justice_is_blond]

You're...

[He trails off as if trying to get Alistair to finish the sentence, and then clues in.]

Oh, yes. I forget sometimes some people can use their names to get laid. I could use mine to get stabbed.

[byblow]

[ There's a long pause, then some very quiet, very brief spluttery tittering at the joke he is not actually making out loud.

Stabbed. ]

[justice_is_blond]

[A beat, and then he gets it.]

I wish I could use it for that sort of stabbing. My cave would have been the most popular place in Thedas.

[byblow]

The deep, deep roads.

[justice_is_blond]

Hello there, I'm Anders. Would you like to take a stab at exploring my deep, deep roads?

[He snickers.]

I don't think that would be effective in the ways I'd like.