[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[justice_is_blond]

You don't really think she was flirting with him. You can't. You've got to be kidding me. I'm going to ask Alistair to verify, you should know, so you may want to tell the truth.

[As if Alistair would contradict Zevran with any sort of forewarning.]

[ombranera]

I don't know, Anders, there were many hours wiled away discussing full bodies and the benefits of hops.

[justice_is_blond]

That is a mental image I could have gone without. I'm going to have nightmares on top of the usual ones, and I'm a mage and a Grey Warden...

[ombranera]

That is easy enough to cure! Imagine me, naked on a sunny beach with a back in need of oiling.

[justice_is_blond]

For the first time in my life I'm a taken man, and now you suggest this?

[ombranera]

What is a little back oiling among friends? Besides, you can put Nate there as well and we both can oil him. Or Nate and I could oil you. Honestly, Anders, your mind is so filthy.

[justice_is_blond]

[He snorts.]

Yes, naked was meant to give no implications at all. But I think it only fair that all three have their turn in such a situation.

[ombranera]

I do not wear anything when I mean to laze about in the sun. But, fine, have it your way.

[justice_is_blond]

[Said slowly:]

I suppose I've never considered simply lazing about in the sun. Maybe I did when, before, when I was younger, but I don't think I have.

[ombranera]

When the weather changes and it is finally warm enough to do so? I shall have to show you the simple joy of it. Or, perhaps, we could add a solarium to the house we are planning to build. All of the sunlight and warmth year round!

[justice_is_blond]

I'm going to take you up on that if Justice is in a mood to allow it.