therookery | [ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It was an opening statement. There are a lot of people I find attractive, but as far as emotional attachments go, that is a more delicate subject.

I suspect that is what you're indicating?

Are they not one and the same? Is there no one you care about, that you might wish to -

- To name, publicly, so that they will be sure of your...affection?

There is a difference between "I want to have sex with that person" and "I want to be involved emotionally with that person."

My my. Madame Seeker, do you have feelings for me?

Hmph. [ She disagrees. But. ]

Ugh. Of course not. I hardly know you!

[ Plus, you don't move in on someone else's man. Hoes before bros, after all. Ovaries before brovaries.

Uteruses before duderuses. ]

Oh, but you could get to know me, if you so wished.

[He chuckles.] But you don't wish. Which begs the question, on whose behalf are you seeking, Seeker? Truly a mystery.

Suffice it to say, I don't share my emotional attachments out loud so publicly.

Do you truly do this with everyone?

I am not - I only - if there is someone you are...attached to, how are they to know?

Are you ashamed to name h- them?

[ Cassandra please stop. ]

[Twisted Fate sighs. He isn't certain why Cassandra is so invested unless she's close with the person she's speaking on behalf of. While he's curious, he doubts she will say.]

They will know if I should say it. But me, ashamed? Never. It's more complicated than that, Madame Seeker.

Does your friend know you're asking on their behalf?

It is not complicated. If you care for someone, you should tell them.

[ Um. ]

That...I never said I was asking on behalf of anyone!

[ So, no. No she does not. ]

As you said, you do not know me. So how is it you can say it is not complicated?

No, you didn't, but you're about as subtle as a bronto in an Orlesian porcelain shop.

[ There's a muffled crash. It may or may not be the sound of Cassandra throwing a cup at the wall in frustration.

nerva what do you even see in him ]

Just - there is nothing complicated in saying their name!

Surely it could not hurt, to let them know you do not find them repulsive.

You seem awfully concerned for this individual. I am curious as to who confessed to you so openly.

Regardless, this is a matter I would not say for all to hear. Matters of the heart... they are much more delicate than something fleeting like a roll in bed. Something either lasting, or something that can shatter a person.

Either way, it is mine to know until I am prepared to say.

[ Well. As much as she dreams of a public declaration of affection for Nerva, there's actually something sort of...romantic about keeping things private. At least at first. ]

I...see.

I only hope you do not choose to wait too long.

[ And she cuts off the transmission. Because she's already said too much, probably, and there is no way she's telling him just whose (questionable) benefit this has all been for. ]

[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

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