therookery | [ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

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If a woman wishes to say she does not wish to be spoken of in such a manner, she can tell the man herself, or speak to another to do so but I believe the woman in question offered her own suggestions. It is never the place of a man to say how a woman should be thought of. A woman is her own person, many of us are more than happy to be thought of as desired, just as we wish to let others now that we find them pleasing to the eye and desired in turn.

But I am hardly surprised, given what you thought of a simple tattoo.

[Whore's daughter, pirate's daughter, thief, and tattooed lady reporting for duty huffhuff.]

He comes from a very different world where all is sunshine and rainbows and perhaps even unicorns, where only bad people do bad things. Or something like that. Truly this is more amusing than offensive.

I have been bad people Zevran. [And though he might hear her roll her eyes, Zevran will know a girl's bravado when he hears it; she is young, she has been hurt, she has been shamed by things she never thought shameful and she still feels angry that anyone ever made her feel small about that.] Women are to be loved, and to be respected yes, there are things we can do that men simply cannot but we are people with thoughts and desires, perhaps he comes from a loving but misguided place but I have seen that stumble down too many ugly roads before.

The most fortunate thing is, I suppose, that were he to stumble it is not so far a fall. [ Ah, short jokes. Will he ever grow tired of them? No. ] I would not worry overmuch, Araceli.

[Zevran that's terrible and you should feel bad for the ugly snorting laugh that escapes her.]

And I suppose, it is more fortunate still that I am very good at making it look like people have had a stumble.

[You know the same tricks as her after all Zevran.]

Oh, hello again Araceli!

[ wait ]

What about tattoos?

Merrill! It's been far too long, last I heard you'd been fight a dragon!

Apparently anyone knows that needles are for stitching up clothes, not going into your skin. He seemed very appalled by it all.

[Can you tell how hard she's trying not to laugh right now Merrill?]

And won!

[ As in killed it, not just lived to tell about it. ]

Oh, dear. Well. That's- he hasn't experienced very many other cultures, has he?

That is what I like to hear, I think dragons are win or lose, and well, we would not be talking now if you were not the winner.

[Worse than sharks, sharks are rarely bothered in all honesty so long as you don't splash about too much like an idiot and don't pester them.]

That can be forgiven so long as someone doesn't try to say that their way is the right way and that everyone should know, especially when this world is not theirs. He is lucky he did not say such things to some who might be more easily offended to move beyond words.

Dragonlings, too! They're the size of a deer but much meaner.

[ And their babies are normal-sized.

Still, the news about Sam makes Merrill sigh. ]

Did he really? Hopefully he learns before that happens...

I think I will pass. Or watch from a safe distance if Korrin decides to do such reckless things again.

[Sirena pls.]

Well, sometimes a punch in the mouth can teach more lessons than words, it's a same duelling doesn't seem to be just as popular here as it is in my home country, you learn many lessons very quickly that way.

Oh! I met her when the dragons first attacked -- she was lovely. We both tried to help with barriers and getting people out of the way.

[ A snort. ]

I suppose that may depend on the person. Some would just take it as more of a sign that they're right.

[ He splutters, a bit overcome by the torrent of words. Of course women are people, but that doesn't make what Zevran had said all right. ]

What - what have tattoos got to do with anything?

[Just...just give her a moment to compose herself here. There's a lot of muttering of the word calma to herself until she can do it.]

You know all the Dalish elves here? Including the women? They have those markings on their faces that are called Vallaslin? Those are tattoos, Samwise. Tattoos. On their faces. What did you think they were?

I -

[ It's been so long since their conversation, he scarcely remembers, and is bewildered to have it thrown in his face now. ]

I - I didn't think much of it at all.

[ It had never occurred to him to question anything about the Elves, really. Elves are Elves, and it's not Sam's place to judge anything about them.

Unless they happen to be murdering assassins with designs on Merrill, that is. ]

They - they aren't born that way already?

[A thief remembers goddamn everything Sam.]

Let me offer you friendly advice, truly, as one who has had the word demon hurled in her face here like a slap; here you must think before you open your mouth. This is not your home, and this world is very dangerous. There are good people, there are bad people, and simply there are an awful lot of people who are just people, good and bad and everything in between depending on the day and the circumstance.

No, they get them to honour their gods. But I am not a native, and as I am a human? It is not for me to tell you what they have told me more than I already have.

[ Sam's not impressed. ]

There's people everywhere, good and bad; that's the same here as it is anyplace else, near as I can tell. I don't see what has to do with anything. I don't see why it means anyone shouldn't say something, when they see something that's not right - or hear it.

[ He's never thought before opening his mouth before and he's not about to start now!!

Though perhaps that's not quite true anymore. Kas and Korrin had given him a lot to think about, after all. Still, a tween stealing food because it's the only way he'd get to eat is one thing. Zevran saying such shocking things about an elf like Merrill, right where everyone can see - that's something else entirely. ]

If standing by silent while people say such things is the only way to be safe, well...well I guess I'll take the danger, that's all.

And what happens when it is not your flesh that it is taken out on? What happens if someone decides that they will teach a lesson by destroying something you love, by hurting someone you love? Those are fortunately not common all over in my country but certainly they are common enough in my world and in this one - you learn there are times to speak out and that there are times that you wait, that you listen with every part of you for the opportune moment.

[Zevran could have taught him that and it makes her throat close, voice catching towards the end as she struggles to maintain something light, as though she's only imparting a lesson and not remembering something so terrible. There's teaching and then there's what she witnessed in Antiva, not the sort of thing to be thrown at someone when she can't forget it each time she looks at Zevran or his kestrels.]

Some people make their living selling themselves like this, my mother and many others for instance, and they would be happy to hear such words because that is the path they have chosen. Others choose it because there is no other way to earn the coin to put food on the table, you are perhaps very fortunate not to know what necessity drives a person to do. In places in Thedas I know that a person's life can be bought and sold easily as bread and meat at the market.

[Flesh is flesh after all, especially if it is elven, and if it is pretty, if it is young, it will fetch a very high price and they will likely be told to count themselves lucky to have ever been worth so much even if not a fraction of it will ever enter their hands.]

No one here was offended, believe me if they were truly offended when their names were mentioned then Zevran would have been the first to make apologies. [That she is sure of, he knows what it's like to be valued a certain way after all, far more than she does.] Close up your mouth, open your eyes, unstopper your ears. Listen to the people who have lived the hard lives here and elsewhere, do not judge them by whatever values your home has because it isn't your place to do so, how would you feel if the boot were on the other foot?

[Pretend you wear shoes for five minutes okay, make an attempt.]

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[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

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