[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[wontforgetyou]

Ah, there's a lot of bonny lasses here to be sure. It'd take an awfully long time to go through everyone's name though, wouldn't you say?

[hugeinorlais]

I'm with you on this one, pal.

I mean, I'd like to think I'm good at describing things, but even I'd run out of words before we got through a third of them.

[wontforgetyou]

Aye, that's my point exactly! If you don't have enough words to describe everyone, then what are those of us who aren't writers supposed to do? Seems like it'd be easier to just make it simpler and just talk to the people you're going to talk to without some sort of list.

[ombranera]

This is why I am asking for help! The list is too long for me to handle, and a list is being written I assure you.

[wontforgetyou]

A list? What on earth do you want to make a list for? Don't see what the point is saying 'She's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen' or...or whatever it is you'd say about the other men here when you can just go tell them yourself.

[ombranera]

Because one day the Inquisition will be a matter of history and quite possibly the subject of ballads, theater, and poetry. It is important to have a strong point of reference for such things.

[wontforgetyou]

Uh-huh.

[That is the skeptical sound of someone who Does Not Believe you, Zevran.]

Go on, pull the other one. It's got bells on. You could just admit you're doing that to see who all likes everyone else, you know.

[ombranera]

Is there anything wrong with a little friendly speculation?

[wontforgetyou]

Well...no, I suppose not. And I'll have to admit that some people are going about it in an interesting sort of way. [*cough*Bethany*cough*] But that's not the same as 'we need a list of folk who are interested in other folk for 'history', you know.

[ombranera]

To show togetherness and a healthy dose of camaraderie. Also to show appreciation for the many handsome women and men in the Inquisition- is this not a noble task?

[wontforgetyou]

I suppose that's not either. Although not all of us are into men, mind you. So I'm afraid you're out of luck if you want any of those names from me.