[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[aceso]

[ It was good wine. Orlesian. She couldn't let it go to waste on the unworthy. ]

And you wish for a first hand account from me? [ A pause. A sigh. ] I doubt you will be disappointed. He's very good.

[el_tybs]

[Don't waste it. Drink it all. He's going to be keeping an eye on you at the tents tomorrow Christine.]

Well considering the other accounts are either himself or Kaisa, whom I don't know very much... yeah.

'Very good'. That's a pretty good rating coming from you.

[aceso]

[ She'll need herbs for her hangover, Sam. ;_; ]

Well I suppose it is. I do not hand out such compliments lightly, as you well know.

[el_tybs]

[He'll hold your hair if you need to get it out.]

Oh, I do. Especially for a Ferelden.

[aceso]

Fereldans must work twice as hard to earn half as much respect with me.

[ Which they both know is absolutely not true. But she has to keep up appearances, even as she admits to banging a half-Avvar Fereldan. Because reasons. ]

[el_tybs]

[Reasons. Of course.]

I guess Asher worked very hard to earn that bit of respect. Must've been quite the grind.

[aceso]

Samouel!

[ She is scandalized, ser. Utterly scandalized. ]

It was a wild ride.

[ ZING! ]

[el_tybs]

[Sam chuckles lightly at hearing his name being called like that. For a moment he just lets Christine simmer on that, and then opens his mouth to apologize - no regrets.

Or at least that was the idea until she dropped that on him.

Sam flounders for a moment before he bursts out laughing.]

Oh my Maker.

[He had not expected that from Christine, and he's pretty sure she's not just joking.]

[aceso]

[ Christine lets out a giggle, but it ends in an undignified snort. Which happens to her sometimes, and is her secret shame. ]

You did not hear that.

[ She is a lady, and ladies do not snort. Ladies get wine drunk and talk about riding Reavers. Obviously. ]

I bet you are blushing now, are you not?

[hlif]

Just you wait til I get back to Skyhold.

[And that is a damn promise.]

Well, let my ribs heal up a bit first, don't want to give a poor showing.

[el_tybs]

N-no-!

[He is, but he's going to still deny it just because. Course he can't talk right with how hard he's laughing right now, which only gets worse when Asher pops in on the conversation.]

You to which one of us?

[He's sure Asher is referring to making him blush, but he's still going to ask.]

What did you do to your ribs?

[aceso]

[ Christine starts coughing, because she's choked on her wine. ]

Oh! I-- uh... You are injured?

[ Yes, let's go with that. ]

[hlif]

Both.

[Look, there is a time and place for modesty and it's about five miles from wherever Asher happens to be at any given moment.]

Well I was in the hold seeing the family then we went to do a job in Gwaren that ended up involving me taking something nasty to the chest. It'll be fine, I've had worse, could've been a Tal-Vashoth, I had some of them come at me in the Kirkwall days though not practically exploding mind you.

[el_tybs]

Both. Brave, taking on a couple of mages.

[Careful with that wine, Christine.

Course hearing what Asher has to say puts all jokes aside.]

You had something explode near your chest? Maker, Asher, that sounds serious,

[aceso]

[ She's fine. Just patting her chest a bit. ]

Surely he cannot mean that!

[ Because explosions around fleshy bits of body are no good. ]

Or... do you mean that, Asher?

[hlif]

[There's a bit of coughing, then some laughing because you know what, he deals with Amalia who heals like she can punch the blood back into you so honestly he feels pretty safe.]

I do, I'm a big boy, I'm a Reaver, I can take it but you know, it's better when employers tell you when you're going to be fighting a mage when you take on a job, it's a pretty big detail to overlook.

[el_tybs]

That is. Did you and your team not take into account that something like that could pop up?

[Honestly, Sam has come to expect there to be some sort of spell caster or weird... thing every time they went out at this point.]

Big boy or not, Asher that's still pretty serious.

Are you laying down right now?

[aceso]

Yes, yes, big strong Reaver.

[ She sounds exasperated. ]

Sam is right. Your mage healed you, yes? You must allow your body time to recover nonetheless.

[hlif]

We've taken on plenty of jobs involving smugglers in Gwaren, up until now they've always been easy jobs where it's a bunch of tarted up lads and lasses thinking they're hot stuff and you get in a scrap, maybe kill a couple and get the bounty. Don't know what the story was with the mage, didn't get to ask, because it went from getting in the door to an abomination hurling itself at me.

And yes, I am a big strong Reaver, we've got a good dwarven alchemist too, he knows his shit, I mean I'm still alive.

[There's a pause though where he laughs because well...]

Amalia healed me. After a fashion.

[Magical equivalent of punching the blood back into him, what a gal.]

[el_tybs]

[He can just imagine the look on Christine's face from hearing all this.]

You're lucky you're so sturdy and have good people in your team.

Sounds like you still need more healing and time to rest up. I doubt you're allowing for that on the road.

[aceso]

[ Oh, did you mean this face, Sam? ]

After a fashion? Hmmph. Not good enough, if it still pains you. But Sam is right. You should be resting.

[hlif]

We've got wagons, I'm reclining on a pile of furs and cheeses right now as we make our bumpy way back to Skyhold, taking the scenic route. Not that there's much scenic when the weather turns everything shit brown but Fereldans are always more attractive than the country they come from, isn't that right Christine.

[Don't be mad.]

[el_tybs]

[Yeah, along those lines. You're in trouble, Asher.

There also seems is a lot of 'Sam is right' going around.

Honestly he was planning on saying something, but at the moment he's having a bit of an issue with trying not to laugh at that last bit Asher had tossed out.]

Best to do as Christine says, Asher. You don't want to find yourself bedridden - and not the good kind.

[Sorry not sorry.]

[aceso]

Hmmph! The Maker works in mysterious ways, like making up for having Fereldans live in Ferelden by giving some decent looks.