therookery | [ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Speaking of laughter, this one is substantially less rich than velvet or caramel. It's the one Bull gets when he's being, you know, himself. ]

Let's return to the bit where you declared me so very possibly the prettiest person in Skyhold.

[ Zevran still isn't certain which laugh he likes more- until he sorts it out? He'll continue to angle for both. ]

Mmmm...am I not allowed to hold myself as your aesthetic equal?

[ He will turn you both into frogs. ]

Not at all -- merely commenting on such a narrow margin. I hope we won't have to duel about it at any point.

[ No he won't. ]

Currently I would say we are tied- but the idea of a duel? Mmm. However would we settle such a thing? Qunari oil wrestling?

[ >8( ]

So long as 'Qunari oil wrestling' means we choose a pair of Qunaris as our champions to wrestle it out -- and, perhaps, charge fare.

[( -v-)/ ~ <3 ]

It would not at all be fair and for one reason only: We would both attempt to claim Bull as our Champion for the bout.

And not Taashath? Are you quite certain you wouldn't wish for an excuse to witness that?

[ Incredibly dry and wry. ] Yes, pitting a Qunari Reaver and a Tal Vashoth Berserker against one another will only end well.

I have seen them fight once already under...very different circumstances. I would rather not repeat the experience.

Truly?

[ A little seriousness finally ekes into his tone, and a little curiousity, but he pulls the reins on it swiftly enough. He's a natural gossip, but-- ]

I suppose the question of our beauty isn't so necessary as to warrant a rematch. It'll just have to remain a mystery.

Buy me a drink and I will tell you about it.

[ Though it would have to be a few bottles rather than a few cups.

Still!

A pleasing diversion of their mutual attractiveness is more than acceptable. ]

There is the matter of dueling you for Alistair's hand to consider. I believe he demanded flowing shirts, flowing hair, and swinging from chandeliers.

[ Dorian only makes a small, non-committal sound at this first part. But he's still used to circling Bull rather than engaging directly, and maybe a bit of brandy and gossip isn't a bad idea.

And he laughs, then, rich even when understated. ]

I think Josephine might have our heads if we were to so abuse the fixtures, and I haven't had flowing hair for something like a decade -- but, we can make do, of course. Rapiers at dawn?

I did offer to trim mine to match yours- something I did years ago during one of the more miserable summers in Antiva- at least the shaved sides as was in fashion at the time.

[ Rinna would pet the softer, shaved hair above his ears, Taliesin would braid the longer band on the top of his skull. Better times. There's a fond, wistful twist to his voice for a moment. ]

No magic for you- no thrown daggers for me. I would not wish to damage your very fine face.

That would be a poor way to settle the score.

[ --and that Zevran has, you know, face scars catches him a little too late, and where he is reclining and chatting, he rolls his eyes at himself, attempts reparation; ]

Some of us rely on the 'has never seen a day of battle' look, quite unlike others I might mention.

[ It has been long enough, and Zevran has been listed enough by others in this very conversation, that he can crackle a laugh at the comment. Dorian did not mean poorly by it-

And if he did he'd just have to leave him a little more bruised the next time they tangle with one another. ]

All soft and flawless and fine like an Antivan statue in one of the noble's gardens, yes. Though I do think you would look quite attractive with a little selective marking; a tattoo would look marvelous on your skin.

[ There's a twinge of relief when Zevran laughs. He only wishes to be cruel on purpose, not by accident. One of those things you learn with age, when you're naturally inclined to be mean. ]

I'd thought similarly, actually. Something simple and stark. I'd hate to feel upstaged by a little bit of ink.

A properly planned and placed adornment would hardly upstage you, Dorian. Enhance your charms much like your kohl lined eyes? Certainly.

[ This is where Dorian might point out that his kohl isn't permanent, but.

It might as well be, honestly. ]

Fair point. I'll have to entertain the notion further.

You know how to find me if the mood strikes.

[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

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