[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[ombranera]

Not at all! I think, perhaps, the scale has been lost in the interest of simply listing what we find marvelous in the pretty people here. I cannot complain.

[eviscerates]

That spares me an awkward explanation later. Emma Swan, without a doubt. She's brave and she's kind, and she is probably one of the most beautiful women I've ever met. My knight in shining flannel shirts and jeans, if only this world had them.

[ombranera]

Now that sounds like my kind of woman.

[eviscerates]

Isn't that everyone's type of woman, really?

[ombranera]

Some prefer the sort that are damsels, honestly. They are missing out.

[eviscerates]

Damsels get the short straw, admittedly, and I've known some damsels in my time who have turned out to be some of the toughest people I know. But... I guess I've got a lot of respect for someone who can see the bad stuff and still keep trying so hard to make things better. Emma's kind of amazing, that way. Not everyone can do it.

( Ruby's not sure she can, for example. )

[ombranera]

Silk hiding steel, I think is the phrase. Those that endure with grace are to be admired, this is certain.

[eviscerates]

Well, I don't know about the grace part. She trips over a lot.

( because you just STOP MOVING WITH NO WARNING, RUBY, but what is logic and fairness tbh )

I think one of the first times we spoke was because she spilled her hot chocolate everywhere.

[ombranera]

...now that sounds like the start of some charming romance story from Orlais.

[eviscerates]

Actually it was the start of her helping a young woman keep her baby from a man who was going to take it away, but I can see where the confusion would come up.

( teasing, so much teasing )

[ombranera]

A man attempting to steal an infant? Mm....no. Still an Orlesian romance.

[eviscerates]

There was a contract involved. It was... complicated.

( But she's amused: ) Why Orlesian? Everything I hear about Orlais is a little weird.

[ombranera]

Because a great deal of Orlais in fact or fiction is terribly strange to the rest of us.

[eviscerates]

So, ( and there's an air of terribly half-hearted outrage ) you're saying Emma is both terrible and strange? Wow. Harsh words.

[ombranera]

The situation, my lovely friend, not Emma. Emma sounds much like a veritable goddess among women.

[eviscerates]

You should see her arms.

( Ruby you are the worst at being a platonic friend tbh )

But, yeah, the situation in Storybrooke can usually be summed up as strange.

[ombranera]

Remind me to find her sleeveless one day. It sounds like something I ought to sketch.

[eviscerates]

( That makes her laugh. ) I'll do that, absolutely.