[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Really, this is just proof that I shouldn't be drinking and listening ... but why not?

- First, Seeker Aleron Darton. He should know that he's got the bluest eyes I have ever seen in some time, a smile that he should use more often, and the sort of gentle manners that make you feel cared for, even if he doesn't know you from the next Warden mage. Remarkable hands, and he's a marvelous dancer.

- Second, I'll back up Anders. If nothing else, he's an amazing flirt and when you can get him to smile and joke with you, he's utterly charming.

- Third - Isabela. Oh ... Isabela. She's beautiful, she's witty, she is fire with smoky eyes and carmel skin. I adore Isabela, not just because she's beautiful, but that she's got the spirit of the storm.

- I shall ... third? Fourth? Alistair. Because he's the most charming, most sarcastic and one of the most kind men I have ever known. He'll do anything to make you feel at home, even if it is just with yourself.

- Zevran Arainai, who has a laugh like silk, fingers like rough velvet, and a smile that just makes you want to put your head on his lap and ask him to play with your hair. My sister is one lucky bitch, ser. Never forget that.

- Obi Wan Kenobi. He looks like a chantry brother, he talks like a sarcastic school teacher, but he's got enough passion to burn a path right through this Inquisition. He's also has a marvelous smile, and an even more marvelous sense of humor.

Andraste's tits ... I know there are more. Can I mention people who are mad at me?

[ombranera]

Yes, yes you can. Anger and fondness are no barriers to praise, fawning, and oogling.

Also: That is high praise, Bethany. I thank you for the compliment.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Oh good ... because Fenris.

Fenris has the most gorgeous eyes I have probably ever seen, and his smile is brilliant and he could talk to me about how much he hates mages as long as he did it in those sultry tones.

I often regret that Isabela never shared what his undergarments looked like.

[ombranera]

He does not wear any.

[ Is Zevran serious? Is he lying? He will never tell! ]

[sunshinethroughgrey]

That is even better ...

Also I like all of your Kestrels. They are not mad at me, but they are still very attractive people.

[ombranera]

You are welcome to tell them so- I think they have learned well enough not to cross the lines of fraternization just yet.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

I shall, for they are delightful people one and all ...

Oh! Kaidan Alenko. He's not mad at me either, but he is my commanding officer, sort of, so it's not really ... good. But he's good. And handsome. And firm. In all the right places...

[easternseaqueen]

Listen to you and that sweet little tongue of yours! Someone really should put it to even better use...

[sunshinethroughgrey]

I am ... quite tipsy. So my tongue is involved drinking more ale.

[easternseaqueen]

Oh, I'm sure we could do better than that.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Isabela you aren't allowed to seduce me. Don't be baaaaaaaaad.

[easternseaqueen]

Darling, when am I ever good?

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Never and that's still why I adore you. [That sound is Bethany giving the sending crystal a kiss.]

[justice_is_blond]

Now you've done it. I'm utterly charming?

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Utterly charming. With the smile and the humor and those stupidly attractive eyes of yours.

[justice_is_blond]

...I'd ask you to go on, but I can already feel Marian glaring at me from hundreds of miles away.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Marian doesn't get to decide my virginity! [Is Bethany's firm response, along with her bottle thumping down. Because yes.] And I will go on because I can go on and I am my own woman!

[justice_is_blond]

...On a scale of dancing with dead corpses in a falling-down mansion to vows are only one of the sticks up his ass, exactly how drunk are you, and do I need to have a hangover remedy ready in the morning?

[Because Fenris to Vael is an excellent scale, thank you very much.]

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Uhmmmmmmmmm I would say I am Aveline the day of her wedding drunk on good wine that all the guards got her.

[wontforgetyou]

Aye, well, this whole discussion is proof of something, but I'm not so sure what it is just yet.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

JAMIE.

I knew I was forgetting people!

... oh, but I can't flirt with you.

But I will tell you that I love your accent, and I love your smile, and I love how sweet you are to Kallian and every other woman you know.

[wontforgetyou]

You sure that's not flirting with me? Those are an awful lot of compliments, you know.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

Oh no it isssssssssss ... I am so so sorry!

[wontforgetyou]

So you are flirting with me then?

[Honestly, he really shouldn't tease here, but he can't help it. It's too good a chance to pass up.]

And here I thought you weren't into younger men.

[sunshinethroughgrey]

What? Who ever said that? I mean ... I like smart, and funny and charming men who are ... uhm, old enough to be flirted with.

[She paused.]

But! Not people whom my friends like! Oh, that's just horrible ... but if you weren't I would. More. Than I have.