[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[the_effect_she_has]

Yeah this is going to end well for no one. However, I'll play.

- Cullen Rutherford. If you even have to ask me why, you haven't been paying attention but I'll lay out a few of the more obvious attractions. His eyes will set you aflame with one soft look, his smiles are enough to make my knees give out at inconvenient times, and I would pay him in whatever coin he'd like to just read aloud to me.

- Twisted Fate, mostly because the man could charm the birds from the trees. Oh, he'll probably fleece you blind, or put nails in your chair, but the grin that he'll give you afterwards would be worth it.

- Garris Valkrie. He's smart, he's funny, he's got a lopsided grin and an attitude to match. I'll match him shot for shot and he can still give me that smirk, and give the kind of form that should make everyone swoon. That's a man to look twice at.

- Varric Tethras. The chest. Great Maker, the chest. And the voice and the wit and the stories and ...really come on, Zev. Need I go on?

[wickedchase]

A fine description, if I've ever heard one.

And not even just for myself. You have such fine taste.

[the_effect_she_has]

I do rather, don't I? And why have I never gotten to play with your hair?

[wickedchase]

A good point. Why haven't you? We should have that fixed.

[the_effect_she_has]

We should. I want to braid it in an elaborate fashion. May I?

[wickedchase]

I gladly encourage it, Katniss. So long as you agree to brush it out afterward.

[the_effect_she_has]

You have my word.

[gatheringstorm]

Fate has gorgeous hair, too. I could play with that all day.

[the_effect_she_has]

He lets you play with his hair?!

Jealous. Totally jealous.

[gatheringstorm]

You never know, he might let you. Just ask nicely.

[the_effect_she_has]

Hmmm. I think I will. Just because I am getting terribly good at braiding ...

[gatheringstorm]

His hair in elaborate braids would be quite a sight. If that tempts him, let me know.

[the_effect_she_has]

I will let you know! And let me know if you ever want me to braid yours.

[gatheringstorm]

Absolutely. You can play with it any time.

[the_effect_she_has]

Then we're going to be braiding your hair. Possibly ... with ribbons.

[ombranera]

Yes, yes you do. A man that uses so many words for others deserves a thousand or so for himself, little bird.

[the_effect_she_has]

You know ... you're right. So here we go.

- Have you ever met one of your heroes and you think, here we go, now I am going to be completely disappointed -- only to find out that he is as charming, as self-depricating and funny as you thought? That he's got a broken nose and warm eyes and a grin that lights up the entire room and you think - well. Well. The legend lives up to the hype. And even though he admires your bow more than he admires you, it doesn't matter, because he's got you laughing your ass off over some story you know it can't be true and yet you want it to be anyways.

[ombranera]

You are terrible at objectifying people, Katniss. [ He crackles a bright laugh. ] And that is part of your charm.

[the_effect_she_has]

I know. [A mock sigh.] I'm horrible in that way.

[ombranera]

What a burden, to be genuinely appreciative of people as people.

[the_effect_she_has]

It is the sword of the faithful I must bear ... but I shall bear it with all due honesty of how much I enjoy the charming wryness of your humor.

[ombranera]

A blade you use with skill and grace. I am proud.

[hugeinorlais]

Who said I admired the bow more!? Slanderous lies!

Apart from that little error, I am impressed. You really have a talent for flattery. I might have to quote you in my next about the author blurb.

[ombranera]

If you put that to print, you must pay her.

[the_effect_she_has]

Yes, I will insist on getting paid, and some flattery in turn, Master Tethras. If you weren't admiring the bow, what did you admire about me?