[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[ombranera]

Andraste's perky tits. Araceli is a woman of many charms- you are truly fortunate to have her favor.

Ah, I saw her once. Marvelous figure, gorgeous gowns, immaculate hair. I found myself a little jealous.

[gatheringstorm]

The South isn't quite the same without her, but at least she left us Dorian to admire.

As for Araceli, believe me, sometimes I have to pinch myself and check that I'm not dreaming.

Taas...it could have gone that way earlier, but now it'd just be weird. He's family.

[ombranera]

And there is so much of him to admire. Mmm.

I honestly have come to feel the same way with Araceli. She is a lovely woman but- I see blood when I see her. Family blood not violent blood, yes?

[gatheringstorm]

If you haven't told Araceli that, you should. She needs to hear such things, and I know it'd bring the biggest smile to her face.

Let's see, who else...Twisted Fate, of course. You've seen that hair, and that ass. Need I say more?

[ombranera]

Mmmm. His hands too are quite the marvel. there is something to be said for deft fingers and a light touch.

And- I think I might. She seems to be in need of such smiles.

[gatheringstorm]

Oh, definitely. Those hands should be as worshipped as that hair and then some. Now I'm itching for a massage, thanks.

Good. That will mean a lot to her and thus means a lot to me. I'm ready and willing anytime you want to join us in seeking respite from bland cuisine, too.

[ombranera]

I wonder how busy he might be after this little discussion. Quite, I should think.

You know? Sometime in the next week might be best; I've all those spices and dried goods from Wintersend Vivienne gave me and the Kestrels can help with the preparation.

[gatheringstorm]

All because of you. Such a generous friend.

Excellent. I've some spices to contribute, too, from the same source. Between us, blandness stands no chance.

[ombranera]

Now if only we could find a proper source of shrimp this high in the mountains. Alas. Perhaps a few of the mainland dishes would be doable.