crystal.

[exequy]

FORM: Crystal.
SENDER: Kostos.
RECIPIENT: Everyone.
NOTES: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Also threadjacking is rad, banter and bicker freely.

The worst country in Thedas—other than Tevinter—

[ A given. ]

—it is Orlais, right? We can all agree to that.

[ Look, he's bored. ]

Comments

[mereandrastianism]

[ A pause. ]

...This is a public discussion, Serah. Surely we might keep it appropriate for all listening ears.

[elegiaque]

Don't stick your fingers up the collective Orlesian cunt if you don't like what comes off on your hand.

[mereandrastianism]

I beg your pardon?

[elegiaque]

( carefully enunciated as if talking to a very slow child, in native orlesian: )

If I could make out what you were saying around your vigorous attempts to deepthroat my entire country, I'm sure you don't need me to repeat myself.

[elegiaque]

In seriousness, don't say things like that around Orlesian nobility, none of them will care beyond those that are going to imagine you saying it later while they're jerking themselves off, and half of them will assume it means you're trying to indicate you're—well, if you will insist on your tender ears, let's say ripe for conquest.

[bouchonne]

My dear poetess, could you perhaps use metaphors a tad less licentious in nature?

[elegiaque]

You understand that I'm specifically telling her not to accidentally make herself look like she wants to be bent over a map and annexed.

[bouchonne]

We're not in Orlais right now. Your intentions are good, but there's no need to teach the ways of the Orlesian court.

[elegiaque]

Oh, I don't know. She sounded very interested in Orlais a moment ago.

But if Diplomacy's job is just making sure our dimmest members never hear anything naughty, just plug her ears and make your life easier.

[bouchonne]

My dear cranky Madame, if disliking a thing equals dimness, then it would follow that you are the stupidest creature here. As that is patently not the case, we can conclude that dislike of things does not mean dimness. No?

The Lady is permitted to be dismayed by your vulgarity without that making her a fool.

[mereandrastianism]

[ This is cause for a sort of humiliated fury that really has no place being aired, let alone where all and sundry can hear. She forces it down until she can make herself sound like they're discussing the weather, all even-tempered unimportance.]

I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, if not your crudity. I'm sure we might agree to disagree on this point.

[ Her accent is still decidedly Marcher, but her Orlesian is well-studied. ]

[elegiaque]

Remaining ignorant after learning better is a feat, but you don't seem bright. I'm sure you'll manage.

[mereandrastianism]

[ Taut but pleasant. ]

No doubt we shall see, Madame Baudin. I trust in my ability to judge better from worse.

[elegiaque]

Chantry Relations can always use people skilled at taking something on faith alone.

[sulahnan]

That's as appropriate as Orlais gets, kid.

[mereandrastianism]

I sincerely doubt that, Serah.

[sulahnan]

Of course you would, with ears like yours.

[elegiaque]

If I'm going to be fingered in public, I'm not going to be told off for moaning.

( Notable Orlesian Poet, Gwenaëlle Baudin )

[sulahnan]

[ snorts and giggles ]

[elegiaque]

( this bitch gets it )

[mereandrastianism]

...My ears.

[sulahnan]

Small and round. Am I wrong?

[mereandrastianism]

They were this morning, certainly.

[sulahnan]

Exactly. If you could spend one day as an elf you'd change your mind about the Orlesians' refinement.

[mereandrastianism]

Mistreatment of elves is as much a sin as mistreatment of anyone else--but I don't hold with dismissing an entire country on the basis of those ill-bred enough to do so.