crystal.

[exequy]

FORM: Crystal.
SENDER: Kostos.
RECIPIENT: Everyone.
NOTES: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Also threadjacking is rad, banter and bicker freely.

The worst country in Thedas—other than Tevinter—

[ A given. ]

—it is Orlais, right? We can all agree to that.

[ Look, he's bored. ]

Comments

[elegiaque]

In seriousness, don't say things like that around Orlesian nobility, none of them will care beyond those that are going to imagine you saying it later while they're jerking themselves off, and half of them will assume it means you're trying to indicate you're—well, if you will insist on your tender ears, let's say ripe for conquest.

[bouchonne]

My dear poetess, could you perhaps use metaphors a tad less licentious in nature?

[elegiaque]

You understand that I'm specifically telling her not to accidentally make herself look like she wants to be bent over a map and annexed.

[bouchonne]

We're not in Orlais right now. Your intentions are good, but there's no need to teach the ways of the Orlesian court.

[elegiaque]

Oh, I don't know. She sounded very interested in Orlais a moment ago.

But if Diplomacy's job is just making sure our dimmest members never hear anything naughty, just plug her ears and make your life easier.

[bouchonne]

My dear cranky Madame, if disliking a thing equals dimness, then it would follow that you are the stupidest creature here. As that is patently not the case, we can conclude that dislike of things does not mean dimness. No?

The Lady is permitted to be dismayed by your vulgarity without that making her a fool.

private.

[mereandrastianism]

[ In the same schooled tone she's used with everyone else, though perhaps a touch more relieved: ]

Thank you, Byerly.

private.

[bouchonne]

[ And, with some real kindness in his tone: ]

Of course. Madame Baudin does mean well, in her way - she speaks so out of a true desire to protect and help you - but she can be distressingly abrasive. Please, be confident: neither your intellect nor your abilities are remotely in doubt.

private.

[mereandrastianism]

...Madame Baudin?

Is she that Madame Baudin?

[ Oh, dear. ]

private.

[bouchonne]

[ A quick laugh. ]

Yes. She is that Madame Baudin.

private.

[mereandrastianism]

Maker's breath.

[ Muttered, embarrassed--and frankly, more than she'd like to show, as emotions go, but it just pops out. She pulls herself back together, grabbing at pleasance-- ]

She's rather...frank. I suppose that is to be expected. [ Does somebody has a collection of poetry locked up with her romance novels? Perhaps. ]

...Which division is she a part of, do you know?

private.

[bouchonne]

Such language.

[ But that's said more as gentle teasing than anything else. His intent isn't to mock. ]

But - she's part of Forces. Which seems perhaps a touch strange, given her slight frame and small stature, until you realize that her tongue is a deadly weapon.

You know her work, I am guessing?

private.

[mereandrastianism]

If my mother asks, I haven't the faintest idea she exists, let alone the content of her writing.

[ With a note of genuine humor in there. ]

As you are not my mother, however, I might say I've a passing familiarity.

private.

[bouchonne]

A dreadful thing, to meet someone you respect in theory and find them to be prickly in practice. You're coping with the heartbreak well, though.

private.

[mereandrastianism]

Heartbreak seems a little strong.

[ Mostly because that'd be admitting how she feels about this!!! It's fine, everything's fine. ]

But you're too kind. Thank you, Serah.

private.

[bouchonne]

Then you've a strong heart. I still haven't recovered from that time I met Maxim de Malier.

[ A prominent composer of operas and ballets. Still, he sounds breezy enough - ]

But please do know that her heart is much softer than her manners would suggest. She has a tendency to say - hm - surpassingly cruel things, and then she's shocked when people end up hurt. A baffling creature. Sometimes I think she was raised by wolves.

[elegiaque]

Oh, please, she isn't going to jerk you off for protecting her from information and it's embarrassing to listen to you.

[bouchonne]

[ With just a bit of ice entering his tone: ]

Do you think that is why I do what I do?

[elegiaque]

No, so imagine my surprise at you falling over yourself to baby a woman in public like this is a real lesson on Orlais.

( drolly. she doesn't match his energy; sounds more relaxed than talking to whoever that marcher is she still thinks is dim. )

[bouchonne]

[ Let's try something new. ]

Madame Baudin, you are behaving very badly right now. Good day to you.

[elegiaque]

( he may not have been going for "startled laughter", but it's an honest reaction. what the fuck, byerly. )

Ciao? I suppose?

( did he think she didn't know or what. amazing. gwenaëlle has no idea how to react to that, beyond an absolute inability to take it seriously.

on the bright side, she sounds cheered right up. )

[mereandrastianism]

[ This is cause for a sort of humiliated fury that really has no place being aired, let alone where all and sundry can hear. She forces it down until she can make herself sound like they're discussing the weather, all even-tempered unimportance.]

I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, if not your crudity. I'm sure we might agree to disagree on this point.

[ Her accent is still decidedly Marcher, but her Orlesian is well-studied. ]

[elegiaque]

Remaining ignorant after learning better is a feat, but you don't seem bright. I'm sure you'll manage.

[mereandrastianism]

[ Taut but pleasant. ]

No doubt we shall see, Madame Baudin. I trust in my ability to judge better from worse.

[elegiaque]

Chantry Relations can always use people skilled at taking something on faith alone.