crystal ||

[degenere]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everybody
WHAT: This is fine
WHEN: Shortly after this

Inquisition. [Very somber, very Orlesian.] Especially members of the Scouting Division. We must demand your attention. Our beloved Head of Scouting, Beleth Ashara, has been tragically and most temporarily laid low by an ill-founded and frankly poorly researched experiment. In these coming weeks, please, join us in offering sincere prayers to Andraste for Beleth’s healing and recovery.

But tragedy must not forestall the work of the Inquisition! Beleth Ashara, eternally professional and aware of the solemn charge of her most important position, has temporarily assigned the duties and tasks of leading the Scouting Division to me: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé.

[A pause, to properly savor the announcement--and then, as a small but gracious afterthought, he goes on--] And to her other dear friend--or at least, I imagine they must be dear friends, as I am with Beleth, for who better to trust with important work and secrets of the Division than friends--her dear friend, Kostos Averesch. You cannot see his face, of course, but he is quite thrilled.

Don't. [ --misrepresent his expression, which is distinctly not thrilled? address him? talk anymore at all? All of the above, maybe. Also: ] It is very temporary. [ If the Maker has any mercy at all. ] If you acquire information of immediate, war-changing importance, direct it to the remaining division heads. If you have questions about your pay or routine responsibilities, direct them to--him.

[ The one with the long name. He refuses to learn it, or at least to admit he's learned it. ]

[Very helpfully:] Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé. Val. And if you acquire any letters of well-wishing for Beleth Ashara, or come across any woodland creatures that need taming, you might direct either to Averesch, who is followed around by a large raven and might, possibly, be able to speak with animals. And if you acquire any interesting gossip you might direct it to us both.

[ Unseen, and unheard, Kostos' head lowers into his hands in defeat. ]

Above all, do not worry, Inquisition! Do not worry, scouts! We are more than capable of handling all that is asked of us. And we are, of course, treating this temporary but quite important reassignment with all due solemnity. In the name of the Inquisition, and of Beleth Ashara.

Comments

crystal

[aenseidhe]

[ okay, this is alarm but also... ]

Beleth isn't Andrastian.

[ why are we offering pray to gods that aren't her patron??? Also, that name is entirely too long, what the shit. ]

Private - Crystal

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

Don't. Don't get started in with this bloke Valwhathefuckwhocares. He's an arsehole and he's just going to make you want to murder.

crystal

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

Yeeeeaaaah you'd want to be thanking Sylaise on that one. As that's her Elven Goddess of choice.

[exequy]

[ When Beleth comes back he is not speaking to her for AT LEAST a week for causing this, all of this. ]

I doubt the Dalish pray to the Maker when they are concerned for their Andrastian friends, but you can all pray to whoever or whatever you believe will make this end sooner.

[degenere]

And I am not pleased to be drinking Antivan wine but it is the nearest that I can find in this city to a passable vintage. The other offered swill is best left to the rats.

Circumstances are that we must all of us take the spirit of some offerings, and swallow the dregs.

Though of course there are no dregs of Andraste.

Crystal

[gottakeeponejumpahead]

[This must be what going mad feels like ... ]

.... Okay.

[exequy]

[ why do people feel the need to share what they say when they are not saying anything??? a mystery he will never understand. ]

[degenere]

Yes, how good to hear that you accept.

[private]

[arlathvhen]

[ Private to Val and Kostos, because it's probably bad form to openly be not dying while they talk about her grave injuries. ]

Um--sorry. About this. Sorry? Is that the right--

[ A few hushed whispers between her and another person, that they would have recognized as her brother, if either had ever actually spoken to him. ]

--Yes, sorry.

private forever

[degenere]

[Oh hey it's the nearly departed dearly beloved Beleth, which means this warmth and cheer in Val's voice is like, actually real.]

Please! Make no apologies and save your breath for breathing. I can assure you with confidence that it is very little trouble to us. You are lucky that Averesch and I were in a position to assist with these duties, yes? And we are lucky that you are recovering.

You are recovering, yes?

∞

[exequy]

How many of these people can you do without?

[periastron]

Uh, yeah—

( this is a lot )

Don't know Beleth well, hope she recovers quick— when you say experiment, what does that entail?

And this might be a fuck-off stupid question, but can people really talk to animals here, or is that hyperbole?

[exequy]

I cannot. I have heard stories, but that means nothing.

[degenere]

He is, of course, being modest.

[Maybe. What the hell does Val know about magic?]

As to the experiment, I cannot say. For I had nothing to do with it. If I had, I assure you, it would not have gone so wrong. Or, it would have, but with comedic results.

[thunderproof]

I can't apologize enough, I can't —

❰ deep breaths, wringing of hands, wobbly lip, etc ❱

I've made these sorts of grenades before, I don't know what went wrong this time. I've been looking at my recipe trying to figure it out, this will never happen again, I swear.

[degenere]

Ah. The culprit.

Now, that, you cannot truly swear to, yes? For the nature of such things is that it might yet go wrong once more. Unless you stop the making of these 'grenades' entirely.

[exequy]

It was effective. [ Praise? Praise. Please don't cry, he can't deal with crying on top of everything else today. ] Just ill-aimed. Perhaps.

[writteninblood]

Adalia, it was you?

[He is genuinely aggrieved.]

[sorcerised]

Wait, this was you?

[ He sounds half concerned, half amused. What even, Adalia? ]

What did you actually do?

[faithlikeaseed]

She's--

What's happened to her? [WORRIED.]

private;

[writteninblood]

Someone struck her with a confusion grenade, which isn't wearing off.

[Guess who's not having a good day.]

Meanwhile, this fool keeps opening his mouth.

[degenere]

An experiment soured. As to the specific nature of this souring, I would be afraid to reveal sensitive details, or to speak much more of the project, lest we drive its culprit mad with guilt.

Blessedly, Beleth will no doubt find healing under the careful hands of skilled friends and the Inquisition, and will recover strength enough to return to her post.

(Crystal)

[castintoflames]

(...it is so very difficult to believe this is...entirely truthful. Maybe it has something to do with Valentine saying his name so much.)

In the case of an emergency, are we to use all of your names?

[degenere]

Oh, no. I would not expect anyone to be able to pronounce each of my names to my satisfaction. You may simply ask for Val.

de Foncé, if you prefer formality. I myself do not.

[sorcerised]

[ Uncertainly. ]

I was told to speak to the Scouting division about missions outside of Kirkwall, but...

Well, perhaps I should wait for Beleth to return in any case.

[ Not that he doubts your authority or anything!! He's also less sure he even wants this due to the whole phylacteries situation, but it still wouldn't hurt to talk about it. To the right person, obviously. ]

[degenere]

Oh, no! There is no sense in waiting. As I have said, we, all of us, must not let ourselves be overcome. We must continue the work of the division and of the Inquisition, or risk loss far greater than any of us might imagine. This loss is but temporary.

I have never been bedridden. But I imagine it is like being on the very worst sort of sabbatical. You return to your work, and no one has done anything to help you while you were gone, and you have piles and piles to catch up with, and you must take a sabbatical for your sabbatical. Or do as I would, and sweep all of it into the fireplace.

Beleth Ashara will never do such a thing. She will attempt to do all of the work herself. So we must make sure there is as little for her to do as possible, when at last she returns to us, yes?

[Without waiting for a yes--]

Now. What is it that I, acting co-head of the Scouting Division, might do for you, my friend? You seek a mission beyond Kirkwall?