Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
degenere) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
therookery2018-05-09 11:06 am
degenere) wrote in therookery2018-05-09 11:06 am
crystal ||
FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everybody
WHAT: This is fine
WHEN: Shortly after this
SENDER: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everybody
WHAT: This is fine
WHEN: Shortly after this
Inquisition. [Very somber, very Orlesian.] Especially members of the Scouting Division. We must demand your attention. Our beloved Head of Scouting, Beleth Ashara, has been tragically and most temporarily laid low by an ill-founded and frankly poorly researched experiment. In these coming weeks, please, join us in offering sincere prayers to Andraste for Beleth’s healing and recovery.
But tragedy must not forestall the work of the Inquisition! Beleth Ashara, eternally professional and aware of the solemn charge of her most important position, has temporarily assigned the duties and tasks of leading the Scouting Division to me: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé.
[A pause, to properly savor the announcement--and then, as a small but gracious afterthought, he goes on--] And to her other dear friend--or at least, I imagine they must be dear friends, as I am with Beleth, for who better to trust with important work and secrets of the Division than friends--her dear friend, Kostos Averesch. You cannot see his face, of course, but he is quite thrilled.
Don't. [ --misrepresent his expression, which is distinctly not thrilled? address him? talk anymore at all? All of the above, maybe. Also: ] It is very temporary. [ If the Maker has any mercy at all. ] If you acquire information of immediate, war-changing importance, direct it to the remaining division heads. If you have questions about your pay or routine responsibilities, direct them to--him.
[ The one with the long name. He refuses to learn it, or at least to admit he's learned it. ]
[Very helpfully:] Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé. Val. And if you acquire any letters of well-wishing for Beleth Ashara, or come across any woodland creatures that need taming, you might direct either to Averesch, who is followed around by a large raven and might, possibly, be able to speak with animals. And if you acquire any interesting gossip you might direct it to us both.
[ Unseen, and unheard, Kostos' head lowers into his hands in defeat. ]
Above all, do not worry, Inquisition! Do not worry, scouts! We are more than capable of handling all that is asked of us. And we are, of course, treating this temporary but quite important reassignment with all due solemnity. In the name of the Inquisition, and of Beleth Ashara.
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[Sentences in another, one word here. Seems about right.]
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Here is one. I will read it directly from this form, so there can be no mistaking it. "Tie a rasher of bacon to your waist and go find a kennel to sit in." How strange, no? There must be some strange business afoot among the dogs. I trust you to work it out.
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[Fen'Harel's increasingly-dubious mercy, how about we just head this murder off at the pass, shall we?]
As the project head for Elven Artifacts, I find I really do need an ah... helper. A scout like Adasse would be just the thing. Needs must, you know how it is.
So, I'm going to have to borrow him for a while, starting just now, if you don't mind.
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[He just said that.]
For Elven Artifacts.
[He is definitely not going to set this shem on fire.]
Sorrelean Ashara.
[Definitely not.]
Your boss' brother.
[Definitely.]
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[He will refrain saying 'love', even though he thinks Sorrel is probably the most glorious thing on the planet right now.]
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[He's mad enough to be surprised at how even his voice is coming out.]
We wouldn't want to countermand the directives of our temporary scoutmaster.
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Now, tell me. Who is my boss?
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[There is a long, quiet moment. He's doing this on purpose. He has to be.]
I don't have time for you right now, because like all the other grown-ups, I have actual work to do. I'm taking this scout from you. You can have him back when I am finished with him.
[Which will be never. There's just so much to do.]
Dirthara-ma.
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[That was a sneeze, right.]
But I am only joking. I understand your naming conventions well enough. You are Beleth's brother, so then, it truly is a pleasure. Now, had you played along, you would have arrived at my point, which is that I am not even a member of this division. Only a friend to your dear sister, one trusted with authority.
Speaking of, I will need to remind myself whether or not anyone is allowed to simply take scouts. Request, perhaps. For projects of an urgent nature. We must not allow the structure of the division to be destroyed, or else the ailment and fate itself gets the better of us all, yes?
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And thirdly, it's too late to matter to me about who is allowed anything. I've already done it. Goodbye.
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[wow wait Beleth doesn't talk about him??? when he talks about her?? and she's an elf?? uncool. when she can think straight this will definitely be discussed.]
I am disallowed from disallowing, you do not care that I am allowed... When in fact, granted temporary power, I can of course disallow.
But your worry for your sister has fractured your logic. I can no more fault you than I can be angry. Go with a very general blessing, my friend. I hope its lack of specificity does not weaken its power.