crystal ||

[degenere]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everybody
WHAT: This is fine
WHEN: Shortly after this

Inquisition. [Very somber, very Orlesian.] Especially members of the Scouting Division. We must demand your attention. Our beloved Head of Scouting, Beleth Ashara, has been tragically and most temporarily laid low by an ill-founded and frankly poorly researched experiment. In these coming weeks, please, join us in offering sincere prayers to Andraste for Beleth’s healing and recovery.

But tragedy must not forestall the work of the Inquisition! Beleth Ashara, eternally professional and aware of the solemn charge of her most important position, has temporarily assigned the duties and tasks of leading the Scouting Division to me: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé.

[A pause, to properly savor the announcement--and then, as a small but gracious afterthought, he goes on--] And to her other dear friend--or at least, I imagine they must be dear friends, as I am with Beleth, for who better to trust with important work and secrets of the Division than friends--her dear friend, Kostos Averesch. You cannot see his face, of course, but he is quite thrilled.

Don't. [ --misrepresent his expression, which is distinctly not thrilled? address him? talk anymore at all? All of the above, maybe. Also: ] It is very temporary. [ If the Maker has any mercy at all. ] If you acquire information of immediate, war-changing importance, direct it to the remaining division heads. If you have questions about your pay or routine responsibilities, direct them to--him.

[ The one with the long name. He refuses to learn it, or at least to admit he's learned it. ]

[Very helpfully:] Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé. Val. And if you acquire any letters of well-wishing for Beleth Ashara, or come across any woodland creatures that need taming, you might direct either to Averesch, who is followed around by a large raven and might, possibly, be able to speak with animals. And if you acquire any interesting gossip you might direct it to us both.

[ Unseen, and unheard, Kostos' head lowers into his hands in defeat. ]

Above all, do not worry, Inquisition! Do not worry, scouts! We are more than capable of handling all that is asked of us. And we are, of course, treating this temporary but quite important reassignment with all due solemnity. In the name of the Inquisition, and of Beleth Ashara.

Comments

[degenere]

Ah. The culprit.

Now, that, you cannot truly swear to, yes? For the nature of such things is that it might yet go wrong once more. Unless you stop the making of these 'grenades' entirely.

[thunderproof]

No, I can, I've done this before, I can fix it —

❰ how dare you call into question her aptitude for alchemy, she's totally got this!!! this was an aberration!!! ❱

I used too much Blood Lotus, probably, or it reacted poorly with something else — I'll figure this out. I will.

[degenere]

Can you? Will you?

Or will more be injured by your inexact measurements, your insecure trial venue, your uncertainty, and your lack of faith in even yourself?

[thunderproof]

❰ ...what. that's really intense for having just fucked up a confusion grenade on accident. ❱

No. I'll figure it out. I know that I can do this, I fucked up once but that doesn't mean I can never get it right. I just have to learn from this.

[degenere]

Will you?

[And then, much more cheerfully, and with a measure of unfounded pride:]

Good. That is the true spirit of a scholar, one who will find knowledge. I delivered a similar response once, some time ago, after having set fire to a small shed on the grounds of the great University.

[thunderproof]

❰ a. she knew that was a test, suck it, and b. ur a weirdo and she remembers the dragon discussion ❱

Did you learn? From the fire.

[degenere]

[Suuuuuuuuuuure she knew]

Only how to cause a greater fire next time. Much to the chagrin of my professors. But in order to advance one's understanding, fire and destruction is, at times, necessary. As great as my love is for Beleth, I cannot in good faith condemn your zeal. I would urge a target more expendable next time.

[thunderproof]

❰ you weren't terribly subtle buddy ❱

I didn't do it on purpose. ❰ slightly petulantly, accompanied by the faint sounds of crossing arms. ❱ She wasn't a target, it was an incredibly poorly-timed and unfortunate accident.

[degenere]

Then I would urge a more appropriately placed accident, yes? There are spaces where one might conduct such work. I myself have commandeered an area for-- [PAUSE.] Research.

[Ye-es. Research. No but for real, research, secret research. More normally, now, with much less suspicion--]

You might consider doing the same. Or else we may all need to go about wearing-- would a helm protect from such an item?

[thunderproof]

❰ research. mmhmm. that sounded totally true, val is definitely trustworthy, and none of this is suspicious. ❱

Likely not, else it would be ineffective against our enemies who wear helms, right? It's an inhaled gas, designed to disperse quickly and affect a small area, so as not to confuse any ally attacking the enemy you target. That's why it got Beleth but not anyone else in the room.

[degenere]

How interesting. Then what is the defense against it? To simply hold the breath?

[thunderproof]

To not be fighting someone with access to it, generally.

❰ holding one's breath may certainly dilute the worst of the effects, once the gas has dispersed and all that's left is whatever particles adhered to the mucous membranes of the nose or mouth... but why give away the trick. ❱

[degenere]

[He scoffs, quietly.]

Yes, what a good suggestion. Tell me, when you fall ill, do your medics and physicians say to you, next time, stay indoors, or do they work to diagnose a solution to your ailment?