crystal ||

[degenere]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everybody
WHAT: This is fine
WHEN: Shortly after this

Inquisition. [Very somber, very Orlesian.] Especially members of the Scouting Division. We must demand your attention. Our beloved Head of Scouting, Beleth Ashara, has been tragically and most temporarily laid low by an ill-founded and frankly poorly researched experiment. In these coming weeks, please, join us in offering sincere prayers to Andraste for Beleth’s healing and recovery.

But tragedy must not forestall the work of the Inquisition! Beleth Ashara, eternally professional and aware of the solemn charge of her most important position, has temporarily assigned the duties and tasks of leading the Scouting Division to me: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé.

[A pause, to properly savor the announcement--and then, as a small but gracious afterthought, he goes on--] And to her other dear friend--or at least, I imagine they must be dear friends, as I am with Beleth, for who better to trust with important work and secrets of the Division than friends--her dear friend, Kostos Averesch. You cannot see his face, of course, but he is quite thrilled.

Don't. [ --misrepresent his expression, which is distinctly not thrilled? address him? talk anymore at all? All of the above, maybe. Also: ] It is very temporary. [ If the Maker has any mercy at all. ] If you acquire information of immediate, war-changing importance, direct it to the remaining division heads. If you have questions about your pay or routine responsibilities, direct them to--him.

[ The one with the long name. He refuses to learn it, or at least to admit he's learned it. ]

[Very helpfully:] Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé. Val. And if you acquire any letters of well-wishing for Beleth Ashara, or come across any woodland creatures that need taming, you might direct either to Averesch, who is followed around by a large raven and might, possibly, be able to speak with animals. And if you acquire any interesting gossip you might direct it to us both.

[ Unseen, and unheard, Kostos' head lowers into his hands in defeat. ]

Above all, do not worry, Inquisition! Do not worry, scouts! We are more than capable of handling all that is asked of us. And we are, of course, treating this temporary but quite important reassignment with all due solemnity. In the name of the Inquisition, and of Beleth Ashara.

Comments

[exequy]

[ When Beleth comes back he is not speaking to her for AT LEAST a week for causing this, all of this. ]

I doubt the Dalish pray to the Maker when they are concerned for their Andrastian friends, but you can all pray to whoever or whatever you believe will make this end sooner.

[aenseidhe]

Does what others do in response to an issue change the moral right of it?

[ who gives a shit what the dalish do, it isn't about them, it's about beleth. ]

Half of prayer of this nature is about sentiment, regardless. If you're looking to lift her spirits and improve her endurance for her injury, do something that means something to her. [ a beat, and he adds, sighing. ] Or don't. But labeling it an Andrastian crisis is insulting.

[exequy]

Andrastian prayers are entirely about sentiment. The Maker has left us and Andraste is not a god. [ Sorry, he's bickery. ] And Beleth would not have climbed so high in an Andrastian organization if she could not accept these gestures in the intended spirit without asking others to blaspheme on her behalf.

But perhaps she will roll her eyes hard enough to snap out of this.

[aenseidhe]

[ iorveth barks a sharp laugh, because yeah, it seemed incredibly likely that she's roll her eyes hard enough launch herself into recovery. And also funny thinking of her accepting andrastian prayer as anything with meaning to her. Of course she wouldn't mention it herself, but that's what you have rude friends for.

Anywho, it isn't a topic near as serious as the phylacteries, so there's nothing really heated to his tone. ]

And it is your sincere belief that He Of Six Names meant nothing more by requesting prayers to Andraste for a woman whose social circle is largely made up of elves?

[ as opposed to just "prayers", in an organization this diverse. my dude. please.

Or, maybe he's just that oblivious of a fool, who knows. ]

[exequy]

[ It's very possible that isolating all of these weirdos and heathens and rifters hundreds of miles away from the Inquisition's larger and incredibly Andrastian main force was, in its own way, a mistake. Someone should write a letter. Design an immersion program.

Not him. He doesn't care enough. ]

Is it your sincere belief, having just listened to him, that he means anything by anything?

[ Hi, Val. Sorry, Val. ]

[degenere]

[excusez]

Your pardon. I mean many things.

[exequy]

[degenere]

[aenseidhe]

[ it's possible. but, kostos, some people are just douchey sjws. it is unavoidable. ]

Clearly he means many things.

[ s n o r t ]

[exequy]

[ Another conversation ended with a noise—but this one isn't vague, this one is clearly frustrated, verging on a cry for help. Someone please just kill him. ]