therookery | crystal ||

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everybody
WHAT: This is fine
WHEN: Shortly after this

Inquisition. [Very somber, very Orlesian.] Especially members of the Scouting Division. We must demand your attention. Our beloved Head of Scouting, Beleth Ashara, has been tragically and most temporarily laid low by an ill-founded and frankly poorly researched experiment. In these coming weeks, please, join us in offering sincere prayers to Andraste for Beleth’s healing and recovery.

But tragedy must not forestall the work of the Inquisition! Beleth Ashara, eternally professional and aware of the solemn charge of her most important position, has temporarily assigned the duties and tasks of leading the Scouting Division to me: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé.

[A pause, to properly savor the announcement--and then, as a small but gracious afterthought, he goes on--] And to her other dear friend--or at least, I imagine they must be dear friends, as I am with Beleth, for who better to trust with important work and secrets of the Division than friends--her dear friend, Kostos Averesch. You cannot see his face, of course, but he is quite thrilled.

Don't. [ --misrepresent his expression, which is distinctly not thrilled? address him? talk anymore at all? All of the above, maybe. Also: ] It is very temporary. [ If the Maker has any mercy at all. ] If you acquire information of immediate, war-changing importance, direct it to the remaining division heads. If you have questions about your pay or routine responsibilities, direct them to--him.

[ The one with the long name. He refuses to learn it, or at least to admit he's learned it. ]

[Very helpfully:] Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé. Val. And if you acquire any letters of well-wishing for Beleth Ashara, or come across any woodland creatures that need taming, you might direct either to Averesch, who is followed around by a large raven and might, possibly, be able to speak with animals. And if you acquire any interesting gossip you might direct it to us both.

[ Unseen, and unheard, Kostos' head lowers into his hands in defeat. ]

Above all, do not worry, Inquisition! Do not worry, scouts! We are more than capable of handling all that is asked of us. And we are, of course, treating this temporary but quite important reassignment with all due solemnity. In the name of the Inquisition, and of Beleth Ashara.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Oh hey it's the nearly departed dearly beloved Beleth, which means this warmth and cheer in Val's voice is like, actually real.]

Please! Make no apologies and save your breath for breathing. I can assure you with confidence that it is very little trouble to us. You are lucky that Averesch and I were in a position to assist with these duties, yes? And we are lucky that you are recovering.

You are recovering, yes?

...I have to save my breath for breathing? Am I going to run out? [ This might have been sarcastic at any other point in time, but she sounds genuinely worried about this unforeseen possibility of running out of breath. ]

I'm very lucky to have you! Maybe not lucky with the breathing. I'll be careful.

[ That's a no. ]

To the contrary. You are extremely lucky with the breathing. You are still doing it, yes? That is more the grace of--well, I would say the Maker, but I am now afraid of sudden bursts of irrelevant censorship, to offer any blessing upon you.

I shall be neutral: you are favored. There. Who could take offense? But do be careful.

And do recover. Your division is very irritating.

Oh! Good. Being favored is nice! I don't mind about the stuff with the Maker, though. He seems like a decent guy. If he wants to help, then that’s just him being nice.

I’m sorry about Adasse. He fancies my brother, so he's trying to show off. [ Filter? I hardly know her. ] If they're being annoying, I can make them stop. I could cry. That would be distracting.

[How cute.]

A little more than decent, I should say. But your praise will no doubt be noted.

You are kind, to offer assistance to me, in a time of weakness. Yet I cannot take you up on it. Nor would I see you cry. Do not trouble yourself. I can manage this Adasse.

[Although since it's just us girls--]

Does your brother fancy Adasse?

You can’t see me cry, I’m in my room. If you came, then you could see me cry. But I won’t, so you don’t have to.

[ Pause. ]

Thank you. For the not crying thing.

Um—I think so, but. Sorrel would like a darkspawn, if it liked him first.

One need not see the crying to know that it goes on. But you are welcome.

[So generous.]

But yes, I see. Easy with his affection, is he? I know the type. [And while they're dishing and Beleth is talking about stuff--] And what of you?

Hmmmm. I think Sorrel likes me. I’m not sure who liked who first though, being twins and all. Maybe Sorrel, since he’s older...?

[ These are definitely the answers Val wanted. ]

[BELETH COME ON WHERE IS THE GOSSIP]

No, that is no guarantee whatsoever. I have a brother. Younger. A pustule of a human. I have never liked him. And I have ever after detested speaking of siblings.

I wouldn’t want a pustule for a brother either, I suppose.

Other than Sorrel...no, no one likes me, um. Likes me. I don’t think that’s really surprising, I wouldn’t like me much, either. [ Her voice is calm as she speaks, distant, almost dazed. ] My mother will probably bully some poor fool into bonding with me, and that’ll be that.

Or I’ll just spend the rest of my life like this, and the point will be moot.

A pity. I had hoped to marry you to my pustule.

No, that was a joke. I would never force such a thing on you. [Though it's kind of funny thinking of his brother tricked into marrying an elf. Not Beleth. Some other elf Val doesn't like. Everyone would be so scandalized and angry and ashamed! Hilarious.] You see, I like you. Even if you were forced into bondage. Even if you remain befuddled and half-witless, though we would have very little to talk of.

Even if you have never named me as a friend to your brother, I remain your friend.

Oh, not bondage, um—bonding. Bonding two people together. Marriage. The idea is to marry me off, so I guess if my mother liked your brother....

[ It doesn’t occur to her that both would probably choose death first. ]

...And I like you, too! I think you’re being very patient with some of the scouting problem children. Don’t kill them, though. I think I told Kostos that. But I’ve talked to Sorrel. He was my secretary for ages. Didn’t I mention you...? Did I mention him?

You did not mention him.

[Or maybe she did. He's only half-listening half of the time.]

Which then begs the question: what other secrets do you keep from me, your friend?

Kostos and I had inappropriate workplace relations on my desk.

[ Aren't you glad you know now, Val. ]

[ On the other side of the room, or whatever, and without looking up, Kostos takes a break from being furious and distressed about whatever is infuriating and distressing at the moment to instead look incredibly smug and not remotely sorry. ]

[oh

well.

Not quite what he expected, but... Hm. Val looks over at Kostos. Then at the desk. Does some mental calculating. Considers the scene he has in his head. It is, to his sensitivities, somewhere between gross scandalous mage-and-elf sex and illicitly hot scandalous mage-and-elf sex.]

Not a bad choice.

Thank you, I try.

[ That's a lie. ]

Is there anything else you want to know?

Many things.

Is the desk your usual choice, or was this an occasion more... special, shall we say?

Well--is this really important? [ She'd be confused, even if she weren't currently ailing. ] No, I usually try to keep my office strictly business. And my bed is on the other side of a door, anyway.

It is terribly important, of course! Or else I would not have asked.

[Like, duh. Val has the sort of sweeping confidence that is easy to agree to and go along with. Easier, certainly, than trying to resist or argue.]

It was a decision of the moment, then, yes?

I--Yes, I suppose it was.

[ IF YOU SAY SO...... ]

Very good. How wonderful, to have such chances in life.

[And the chance to keep a close eye on... this.]

crystal ||

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