therookery | crystal ||

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everybody
WHAT: This is fine
WHEN: Shortly after this

Inquisition. [Very somber, very Orlesian.] Especially members of the Scouting Division. We must demand your attention. Our beloved Head of Scouting, Beleth Ashara, has been tragically and most temporarily laid low by an ill-founded and frankly poorly researched experiment. In these coming weeks, please, join us in offering sincere prayers to Andraste for Beleth’s healing and recovery.

But tragedy must not forestall the work of the Inquisition! Beleth Ashara, eternally professional and aware of the solemn charge of her most important position, has temporarily assigned the duties and tasks of leading the Scouting Division to me: Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé.

[A pause, to properly savor the announcement--and then, as a small but gracious afterthought, he goes on--] And to her other dear friend--or at least, I imagine they must be dear friends, as I am with Beleth, for who better to trust with important work and secrets of the Division than friends--her dear friend, Kostos Averesch. You cannot see his face, of course, but he is quite thrilled.

Don't. [ --misrepresent his expression, which is distinctly not thrilled? address him? talk anymore at all? All of the above, maybe. Also: ] It is very temporary. [ If the Maker has any mercy at all. ] If you acquire information of immediate, war-changing importance, direct it to the remaining division heads. If you have questions about your pay or routine responsibilities, direct them to--him.

[ The one with the long name. He refuses to learn it, or at least to admit he's learned it. ]

[Very helpfully:] Valentine Nicasus Maxence Mérovée Olivier de Foncé. Val. And if you acquire any letters of well-wishing for Beleth Ashara, or come across any woodland creatures that need taming, you might direct either to Averesch, who is followed around by a large raven and might, possibly, be able to speak with animals. And if you acquire any interesting gossip you might direct it to us both.

[ Unseen, and unheard, Kostos' head lowers into his hands in defeat. ]

Above all, do not worry, Inquisition! Do not worry, scouts! We are more than capable of handling all that is asked of us. And we are, of course, treating this temporary but quite important reassignment with all due solemnity. In the name of the Inquisition, and of Beleth Ashara.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Someone struck her with a confusion grenade, which isn't wearing off.

[Guess who's not having a good day.]

Meanwhile, this fool keeps opening his mouth.

[ From Sorrel’s own crystal, Beleth’s voice can be heard, distantly. ]

You don't have to keep opening your mouth.

[He turns away from the crystal, briefly, though is still audible through it.]

Not me.

[There is an exasperated pause.]

...good one.

[A short pause as he goes through all the other messages and-- Aa, something Adalia had done with her alchemy. And far too much Orlesian.]

You've tried dispelling her, I assume? D'you need any help? Possibly a gag for the Orlesian--

[That's a joke. He'd have to wrestle Val to the ground and somebody would take it the wrong way, probably.]

Nothing is working.

[Say this for Adalia: whenever she figures this whole thing out, it's going to make for a really excellent recipe for confusion grenades.]

I know you're joking, but if you're serious, please gag the Orlesian. Or if you're any kind of healer, would you look in on Nari for me? In all this mess someone put a little hole in that pet templar of hers, and she's mad enough to kill.

Damn. Wish I knew more of alchemy.

[And then he swears a quiet oath.] Cade's been hurt in all of this? I'm not any sort of healer but--I'll check in with her. [They're roommates, after all; and Cade's his scribe.]

Thank you. I'd do it myself, but I need to stay with her, right now. I'm afraid that if I walk away from Beleth, someone will think they're smart and try something stupid.

Just what we need right now, yeah? [A little of the exhaustion he's been doing so well to conceal leaks through in that last.] Stay with her; I've got the others.

And Beleth, [he knows you're listening,] not that I've got to tell you as much but be good to your twin, will you?

[ Still from a distance: ]

He’s the good twin. Oh—I can be the good twin.

A good twin...?

I think I said twin too much, it’s not a word anymore.

I've a radical proposal: You're both the good twin, [said smilingly].

Once it becomes a word again, anyhow.

It was a good word.

[ Said solemnly. Rest in fucking pieces. ]

May it long be remembered for the truly irreplaceable word it was. [Equally solemn.]

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