Entries tagged with isaac

Entry tags:

crystal; two questions

FORM: sending crystal
SENDER: ennaris tavane (

aberratic )
RECIPIENT: everyone
NOTES: no warnings!

Riftwatch, [ brightly, someone has a new project she's set herself on, ] two questions, if you'll indulge me—

First, what is your favourite place in Thedas? Second, I have a project in mind for Archives. Please let me know if you would be amenable to participating in a series of interviews relating to your experiences in Riftwatch—particularly those among us who have been here for years, though all stories are welcomed.

Entry tags:

hunger games;

FORM: Crystals
SENDER: Lazar
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: N/A

Who'd win in a fight? Outta everyone.

Entry tags:

crystals;

FORM: Crystals
SENDER: Isaac
RECIPIENT: Y'all
NOTES: I'm not current on my log tags and you nice people will just have to deal.

In light of recent events –

[ weird way to say 'thank you for not leaving me in a swamp' but ok ]

I've compiled a list of external healers willing to work with us. They are few, and expensive, and I therefore think it also worth identifying those mages within Riftwatch able to lend emergency aid. If you've facility with regeneration or sedation, we could use the hands.

Contact me directly. I'm not naming anyone without a look at what you can do.

To wit, I'm certain it's time to call for another round of general volunteers. Whether you can stitch a wound, or care to learn, bother Strange about it. He's in charge.

[ air quotes. ]

Entry tags:

CRYSTALS | Mage jobs, jobs for mages

FORM: Crystals
SENDER: Isaac
RECIPIENT: Locked to Benedict, Julius, Kostos, Nell, Petrana, Strange. Marcus is optional. Vega is accidental.
NOTES: If you want to do these and aren't on the message, hmu OOC and we’ll get your dude involved!

The eluvians place certain opportunities in better reach. I've a list of actions and points we might address; fold them into your existing work, where able.

I trust that I needn't underscore the importance of discretion. Be mindful of those you involve, and if you must shout about all this, for fuck's sake use the filter.

Entry tags:

crystal; rifter cultural exchange war table plot

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Ness ( aberratic )
RECIPIENT: all y'all
NOTES: This is a long one, she's a yapper. Important points bolded for the tl;dr, not for ic emphasis.

[ she has learned her lesson in contacting jayce far too early in the day; today, when ness gets on the crystal, it's closer to midday than to the first rays of dawn. she wants to reach the largest possible crowd, after all, and can't reach people who are asleep.

so: it is midday, and the first thing heard over crystal is a stack of papers being tapped neatly on a desk. buckle up, riftwatch, this is gonna be a long one. ]

Hello, Riftwatch, Ennaris Tavane speaking. [ does it sound like she's reading off a pre-written script? maybe. look, she has a lot to get through and she doesn't want to miss anything. ] In looking into how I could best make use of myself here, I found that there's quite a lot of information on rifter technology and knowledge that might have a use in Thedas, but it all seems to be a little spread out, in various different offices and projects. My aim now, which I have received permission from Provost Niehaus to undertake, is to gather all this disparate information and compile it to make comprehensive files for each field. To that end, I have requests of our organization, both rifter and native Thedosian alike:

Rifters, I would like to hear from you on technologies available in your world that Thedosians may be able to reproduce. Some of these notes include reference to a Riftwach Cultural Exposition which took place last year, and I would especially welcome input from anyone who attended or presented at that Exposition. Much of the work on this end has already been done by the agents who worked on this endeavour before me, so my goal here is mainly to ensure that I understand exactly what it is I'm compiling, but I welcome new ideas to add to the compilation—and no innovation is too trivial to be included; at the Exposition, a rifter Jude Adjei met with great success in distributing his peanut butter chocolate chip cookies. If it can be achieved by the means and materials we have available to us in our new home, it's worth consideration, at the very least.

Native Thedosians, here I defer to your expertise in our home. The goal of compiling this information is to be able to facilitate a dialogue between ourselves and the rest of Thedas, to bring to bear the knowledge of worlds beyond to make life better across this continent, here and now. The question I put to you is, who would be most receptive to this dialogue? There are some names in these notes, a Monsieur Guillaume du Naigh, Signora Jacqueline Fioranati, and we have experienced no small success in engaging with the University of Orlais—but it has been some time since the Exposition. Have we made any new contacts? Which organizations are of the most open minds? Any names I receive will be listed and turned over to the Provost as contacts for next steps, once the information has been compiled.

Given no significant setbacks, I intend to have this information compiled and ready to set before the Provost within a month. While I welcome any and all contributions, it would be best they come sooner than later.

Thank you for your assistance, Riftwatch.

Entry tags:

crystal & medical questionnaire.

FORM: Sending crystal + blank questionnaire available at the infirmary
SENDER: Stephen Strange
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: The form is below! Submit your character’s response as a reply to that sub-thread, and this will also be linked from the Riftwatch orientation & infirmary wiki pages for posterity, so you can edit/submit a new one if details change. Your character does not have to take this super seriously. Strange might just come nag if they don’t.

What with the new faces recently, I’ve been working on the medical curriculum and refreshing the infirmary’s recordkeeping. It’s high time to establish some better-kept patient files.

To that end, we’ve provided a written questionnaire at the infirmary — thank you to Amsel for her neat penmanship — and I’d appreciate it if you could fill out a form for yourself and drop it off. The records will only be referenced by healers in the course of their duties, and otherwise locked away; your personal details will remain private. Having as much information as possible will only help the healers take care of you properly.

If you don’t read Trade or otherwise require assistance filling out the form, say as such and we can have someone sit with you. Any other questions, let me know.

— but also, fill it out.

Entry tags:

stupid network banter | crystals

FORM: Crystals
SENDER: Isaac
RECIPIENT: You!
NOTES: Roëmænce Partnær Quiz. This whole post is NSFW.

Now that we've the proper criteria, who do we think is compatible? Quietly simmering with lust, and unable to act upon it by virtue of their, oh. Virtues.

While we're at it, we ought to determine the next public breakdown. Perhaps we can reuse the quiz — Have you ever shared laughter, only while quivering with barely-controlled rage, etcetera —

Entry tags:

crystal; ota

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Ness Tavane (tadfool)
RECIPIENT: Errbody

[ the sending crystal comes on, and a feminine voice clears their throat; she is clearly entirely new to this, and perhaps to public speaking in general, but she wants to make a good impression!! ]

Hello, Riftwatch. My name is Ennaris Tavane, I'm a recent arrival to your organization. If Ennaris is a mouthful, Ness will also do! I wanted to introduce myself, and I also have a request, should anyone be willing to assist me.

I've joined the Diplomacy division [ cuz damn do y'all seem to be the most in need of bodies ] and am eager to get my feet beneath me as far as work there goes. I can read and write with proficiency, and am an excellent note taker, should those skills be of use to anyone. I... can scribe, [ said with all the enthusiasm of someone admitting to being physically capable of mucking out the stables, yes, but— ] though my real skill lies in research and compilation of disparate sources of information. I'm happy to offer my assistance to anyone who needs it while I suss out what jobs need doing and where my skills would best be applied.

As for my request, I was hoping there might be someone—or even multiple someones—who would be willing to tutor me in history. I have several gaps in my knowledge, and would prefer to fill them in as quickly as possible. Please feel free to reply back to me here, on the crystal, or to get with me privately if you're interested. We can discuss compensation, though I admit I've not got a terribly deep purse at the moment.

Erm. Thank you for your attention. Have a good day? Binder's knots, feels like I'm talking to air...

Entry tags:

crystal

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Clarisse
RECIPIENT: e v e r y o n e
NOTES: she definitely has her feet up on her desk rn

Morning, Riftwatch. Clarisse La Rue here. From now on I'll be taking the Griffon Keeper position in an official capacity, so if anyone has questions about them, the eyrie, or the stables off-island, I'm your girl.

[ She has an OFFICE now. That's what's up. ]

Couple things. The first one will sound dumb if you've already been here a while, but I want to make sure everyone is comfortable with the idea of taking care of the griffons in an emergency. They're pretty self-sufficient in the field, but they're an important resource, so if you're on a mission and something happens to one's primary rider, [ we don't need to list hypothetical scenarios here, right? ], making sure the griffon has its basics covered until we can get it back to the Gallows is important. Same goes for the horses, too, but most people are already more comfortable dealing with them.

The second thing I want is to make a list of people who'd be comfortable griffon riding as a passenger if needed, in combat. Um, we all saw what happened a few months ago, so the likelihood of more aerial combat in the future seems. High. It would be good to have a go-to list of people who are willing in case someone needs backup in the air.

And if you're not interested in flying solo, that's fine, but I'd encourage everyone who hasn't yet to at least try and get a basic familiarity with how it feels to ride alongside someone else, in case of an emergency. [ Never know when you're gonna need to fast travel away from a crumbling tower, right? ]

Okay, uh, I think that's it for now. Thanks.

ooc: (( feel free to handwave that clarisse had a brief check-in with your character about the first point, unless you would like to thread it out for whatever reason! ))

Entry tags:

crystal.

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: idk your bff Kostos
RECIPIENT: Everyone, unfortunately
NOTES: :)

[ It would be wiser to limit this complaint to those it's relevant to—the handful of mages who might have been informed of this bargaining after the fact, specifically.

But Kostos isn't in Scouting anymore. Or Diplomacy. Or even Research. And so he's released from any expectation or obligation to be subtle and exercise discretion when he's spitting mad. Right? That's how that works?

Anyway. ]

The fucking pirates took our fucking shit.

[ Important specification: ]

Not Riftwatch's.

[ Also, ]

Shit.

Entry tags:

crystal

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Jason Talons & Viktor Tendercrisp
RECIPIENT: One thread private to Cosima, Marcus, Yseult & the current Diplomacy representative; otherwise, open.
NOTES: Context under the cut.

( i told u kids not to play with fire )

( open )
[Viktor's voice, broadcast to Riftwatch at large, is at first distantly quiet.]

What should I—

[Suddenly much closer and clearer:]

Ehh— should anyone happen to have noticed a combustion event on the mainland just now, please be assured it's nothing to worry about.

( closed to Division Heads )
[ Minutes later, the sending crystals of the division heads light up. ]

Hey! Hi, uh-- [ Jayce clears his throat. ] Hello. It's Jayce. Jayce and Viktor. Research div. There was a-- an incident in Lowtown. That was us, not an attack. Everything's okay. Could you let the Viscount know?

[From a few metres away, raised thin with excitement, Viktor's voice:] Tell them! Tell them what we've done!

[ Jayce, with a breathy laugh and an excitement scarcely backdropped by the worry of reprimand (and-or shock of success): ] Yeah, we've-- we've got it! Runic enchantment. Viktor and I figured it out. How to do it ourselves, I mean.

Entry tags:

crystal.

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Gwenaëlle Baudin
RECIPIENT: All y'all.
NOTES: There's a new junior dad in town. Tell her all about your sick magic weapons and how buff or noodly your little nerd arms might be. (Happy to do action spam here or in her inbox for any office threads!)

Alright, Riftwatch, I assume I don't need to introduce myself,

( possibly because she hasn't been paying strict attention to recent arrivals, but she is certainly not herself a new face, )

but if you have somehow mistaken my accent for Alexandrie, this is Gwenaëlle Baudin, and if you haven't noticed my taking up the office, I am now your acting Captain of the Watch. ( because they are still pretending that dad might come back (with smokes) and that rowntree's appointment might be temporary. she has already begun studying nevarran, but she isn't all that optimistic about when she's going to need to know it by. ) I've started with inventorying our armoury, and as such I have a couple of requests to make of, primarily, those of you not in Forces. If you are in Forces, I need to know if you possess any personal weaponry of note that we should be taking into account. You can provide details by crystal, book or at my office. If you are not in Forces, I would like to know that, but disclosure is voluntary unless your division head decides to make it mandatory.

( yes, she checked with rowntree before announcing it's mandatory for forces. )

Further, if you are not in Forces, I'd like to have an overview of the combat readiness of our ( nerds ) general non-combatants and what their, your needs are. If you'd like particular training, or if you specifically wouldn't. If you're going to be particularly vulnerable in the sort of emergency we recently experienced, or if it'd be useful for me to be aware that you won't. Again, we can have these conversations by whatever means suits you.

( there's a brief pause. )

And to be clear, I'm not assuming all diplomats and researchers need to be provided personal fainting couches, and you will not be considered clever for getting up in arms about having your toughness questioned. If you would like to be provided a personal fainting couch, ask the Seneschal.

Entry tags:

Crystal (with an option for action)

FORM: Sending crystals
SENDER: Siegfried Farnon
RECIPIENT: Riftwatch broadly
NOTES: Some mention of mild animal injury. Feel free to go for action if you'd rather catch him in person somewhere around the Gallows

Good day, Riftwatch. For those of you I've not had a chance to speak with at length, this is Siegfried Farnon. I've followed up with many of you following the attack, but I wanted to make clear that if any animals you interact with seem to be behaving unusually, I'd appreciate you contacting me. Eating more or less than usual, lethargy, seeming fear of things they formerly didn't fear. Anything at all. Mounts of all sorts especially. I'm doing my best to make the rounds regularly, but anyone an animal has bonded to may be quicker to notice something out of the ordinary that isn't blatantly obvious. And while we've dealt with the evident injuries, this sort of incident can have longer term effects sometimes, as I'm sure you all know when it comes to people.

On a less critical note, if anyone has a line on a reliable way to secure pipe tobacco these days, I would be deeply gratified to know your source.

Entry tags:

crystal

FORM: crystal
SENDER: Benedict "Fantasy HR" Artemaeus
RECIPIENT: everyone in Riftwatch
NOTES: I definitely did not steal the second part from mj, who technically offered it freely but I reserve the right to pretend I plagiarized her

[An identifiably posh voice clears its throat and speaks over the crystals:]

Good morning, Riftwatch. This is Benedict.

With everything that's happened, and morale being understandably low, I thought we might, um, turn our minds to picking ourselves up.

I have two questions for you all: first, and more simply, would you find it worthwhile to have some scheduled leisure time, either to use freely or to spend with food and drink on the beach, as we did several years ago?

Second, what are some of the gaps in our personnel-- of what specialties, skillsets, and the sort are we in dire need? What does your ideal recruit look like, and have you any ideas of where they might be found?

If you prefer not to answer over crystal, you're welcome to come by the Personnel office in the Central [only] tower, or leave me a note.

[a loud sigh coincides with the crystal turning off, as though all the tension he has been holding in his entire body is suddenly rushing out with the conclusion of the message. public speaking is hard]

Entry tags:

do you want the bad news or the bad news.

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Petrana de Cedoux, Marcus Rowntree
RECIPIENT: All y'all
NOTES: News from the rest of the South; including deaths. If your character knows somebody in Skyhold who might send something back to them, Petrana and Marcus can absolutely carry a within reason amount of letters or keepsakes.

If I may take a moment of your time, Riftwatch.

This is Madame de Cedoux. In my capacity as chief cryptographer and a member of our diplomacy division, I have been dispatched to Skyhold to exchange intelligence with the Inquisition, and it is my purpose now to share what I may from my discussion with Spymaster Leliana. Captain Rowntree has accompanied me, and has continued to the front to gather further information upon which he will elaborate, likewise by crystal.

Grave news, I'm afraid, has abounded across Thedas. Kirkwall — and, indeed, Minrathous — was not alone in either the strike or the severity of what was recently experienced. Skyhold itself has not been penetrated, though dracolisks were sighted and their riders believed to have been seeking the stronghold—these same riders may have been responsible for a dracolisk attack upon Orzammar's main known entrance. It appears to have been in the vein of a — impulse decision, perhaps driven by their inability to access their chosen target. The entrance is expected to take some weeks to dig out anew, and trade is expected to be impacted.

I regret to report that Griffon Wing Keep suffered grievous losses to their number under an attack led by an unidentified, speaking darkspawn. Many of the Wardens were compelled to take arms against one another, and we mourn the losses among others of Wardens Nathaniel and Anders Howe, and the Wardens Alistair and Oghren, as well as, once of our Research division, one Casimir Lyov.

( it has been a long time since she had been at ease with the howes— but that there will be no further opportunities, not ever, is a bitter thing to sit with as they had left things. )

Val Royeaux and Val Chevin are both among the cities struck. The Divine has ( regrettably, though her voice has returned to the level and matter of fact recounting, ) survived the attack on her Grand Cathedral, but both the Chantry there and the harbour in Val Chevin have taken great damage, and heavy loss. Melys, representing our Scouting division further afield,

( it is much harder to keep her voice steady now, that old letter ringing in her ears, miss you darkly, darling, but she does, )

was among the fatalities.

Captain Rowntree, if you would.

The Imperium launched an attack against the encampment of the Exalted March. There were many casualties. I'm told there was a targetted strike that took the lives of Cassandra Pentaghast and Cullen Rutherford, of the Inquisition.

[ A pause, before diverting. ]

Word, too, of an attack in Ostwick. As with the assault on the front, and that in Kirkwall, the enemy rode in dracolisks and sought to cause damage with magical explosives. The harbour and its fortress and stockhouses were destroyed. There is some report of skirmishing in east Nevarra, Van Markham territory, but no word of heavy losses.

There are those of our number who had departed to the front—those that also fell. Joselyn Smythe and Tsenka Abendroth, [ and if there was more to say, which there wasn't, the rough twist at this last syllable, a hard, dry edge in his voice, means he stops there. ]

( softly, she says: ) Thank you, Captain.

I will remain in Skyhold through the evening meal, and from here, the captain and I will return to Kirkwall. If there are brief messages you would have me carry to those you know within Skyhold, I will do what I am able before we depart.

Entry tags:

REPORT: Madmen Drummers Bummers

SUBJECT: Madmen Drummers Bummers
PARTICIPANTS: Loki, Isaac, Cassius & Julius
CLASSIFICATION: Public
DATE FILED: Now-ish
STATUS: Ongoing Mysteries, Complete for Now
SUMMARY: In search of clues that might lead them to the identities and whereabouts of the talking darkspawn who appeared in Nevarra City, two teams investigate promising leads with mixed results.

REPORT:

Enchanter Julius (and to Whomever Else it May Concern),

I'm pleased to report that a few hours soaking in a hot bath has more or less restored me to my former state as a person generally not riddled with saddle sores or streaked with mud collected from across a half dozen Orlesian leagues. With that in mind, I absolve you and Project Sashamiri of a great deal of responsibility when it comes to my personal injury. I have however taken a small measure of restitution from the project's funds in recompense for the replacement of one (1) riding habit, the hems of which were irrevocably damaged in the line of duty. Should you have any questions regarding the nature of these charges, then you are more than welcome to take it up with the Seneschal's office directly.

However, allow me to commit the remainder of this record to more pressing matters. While these notes will be unimportant to yourself, Enchanter, given that you were present to experience first hand what I'm about to discuss I have noted them down for posterity and you are welcome to give them your co-signature or to make any note you might wash to in the margins. I believe I've left ample room for you to do so.

With all that in mind, let me begin by saying that I cannot recommend travel across the Waking Sea prior to mid-Justinian. In a brief discussion with our captain, I was assured that Cloudreach is one of the least fortuitous months in which to embark by ship. If one must journey south (or any generally in any direction) at this time, my recommendation is to delay, or to appoint yourself to a ship which will stay always within sight of the shore so one might have some chance to reconcile themselves with some landmark every now and again.

Neither can I advocate for traveling by horse through southern Orlais at this time. The roads are miserable and the peasantry ghoulish to look at. Through no fault of their own, of course. I've taken the liberty of writing to a Sister in a Chantry south of Val Foret regarding the general destitution of the population, and have implored for all the usual things.

The accommodations otherwise were dreary nearly to the point of inspiring paralysis. But, seeing as that is the default state of our own morose little fortress, it's hardly worth noting save perhaps to say how novel it is to view the world through a proper window. We should consider investing in a few of those.

As to the reward for all this relentless labor (which again I write less for your benefit and more for the Whomever Else): Warden Tallis informed of a patrol through the Deep Roads which sighted what appeared to be a band of darkspawn being led in worship of some kind. Initially, this was guessed to be either a joke or derangement. But evidently an additional report corroborating this little bit of madness has surfaced (literally, I can only assume) only a few weeks ago. In exchange for this wealth of information which absolutely might have been communicated by raven if not for the obligation that all Grey Wardens be obtuse, Warden Tallis has requested that we keep Griffon Keep informed should we discover anything further related to this line of inquiry.

I would kindly suggest that, should we indeed stumble across any additional information, we send her a cryptic note requesting she travel halfway across Thedas to a grimy Lowtown tavern where we may pass along only the whisper of workable intelligence. Better yet—let's feed this information to Master Rollins, that fine man south of Ansburg who Isaac and Loki met with and whose barn was not in fact haunted for a talkative undead corpse, but rather his wife's shambling lover. I suspect the two of them, Rollins and Tallis, would get on like two paranoid houses. It's clearly our noble duty to see them introduced.

Of grudging note, I will say that I think there's some merit in chasing down that rumor from the Blasted Hills. While I can't imagine a mining town is any more scenic at this time of year than what I have heretofore described, that stableboy seemed adamant that we were meeting with a Warden to investigate 'All that strange talk' from that region. So long as we are chasing spirits and hearsay...

Yours in Humble Service,
First Enchanter Cassius Black

NEXT STEPS: Check out those Blasted Hills rumors.

NOTES & LINKS: OOC Info | IC Log

Entry tags:

book.

FORM: Enchanted books!
SENDER: Bastien
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: Bad medicine.

[ Copied into the enchanted books verbatim, in slow and painstakingly neat print, from an Orlesian gazette: ]

If you have spoken to a surgeon who knows anything in the last twenty years, you will have been told that a balance of the four humors is essential to good health. But did you know that an excess of black or yellow bile, blood, or phlegm can affect your manner just as much as your health? It can! Unbalanced humors may unbalance your personality, drive away your friends, and ruin your life. Answer these questions to discover which of the humors is at greatest risk of dominating your temperament.

1. Which constellation calls to your heart?

A. Satinalis, the Celebrant
B. Fulmenos, the Thunderbolt
C. Perquauialus, the Voyager
D. Elvia, the Sacrifice

2. At the last social gathering you attended, you…

A. Organized the other attendees to play your favorite parlor game or learn your favorite dance.
B. Engaged in a heated debate with someone whose politics were intolerably misinformed.
C. Found someone looking at a painting and spent the entire evening speaking to them about it.
D. Sat next to someone who was crying in the corner so they would not be alone.

3. The problems in your life…

A. Are minor and do not bother you very much.
B. Must be solved with decisive action.
C. Must be solved with careful thought.
D. Probably cannot be solved at all.

4. You are most proud of…

A. Your reputation and verve.
B. Your courage and independence.
C. Your ideals and compassion.
D. Your loyalty and consistency.

5. On your deathbed, you would feel the greatest regret if you...

A. Were alone and unknown.
B. Had accomplished nothing.
C. Had created nothing.
D. Were inconveniencing your children by dying.

6. During which season do you feel most at peace?

A. Spring
B. Summer
C. Autumn
D. Winter

( Read more... )

Entry tags:

crystals;

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Isaac
RECIPIENT: OTA
NOTES: CW - Bugs near food

Where on — Ah, damn.

[ the clink of glass, a cleared throat: ]

This is Isaac.

I suspect there are a number of you I've not met - and if you judge yourself particularly odious of character, let us both endeavor to retain our inacquaintance.

For the pleasantly-graced - or the inconveniently familiar - I come bearing gifts: Find me in the Knights' mess to claim your due. Any novel absence of limbs will be deducted from my generosity.

[ a pause. an afterthought: ]

If you should come across a scorpion, do avoid aggravating it.

Entry tags:

crystal.

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: Relevant info about a three-year-old plot.

[ No greeting, no introduction. Kostos (Nevarran-accented, quiet) is skipping straight to sounding irritated, with everyone, for no clear reason. ]

Rifters will be put into Circles after the war if mages are. Whether they seem to have magic of their own or not.

[ Perhaps this is slightly debatable. Perhaps Riftwatch's division from the Inquisition, taking all of the rifters with it, changes the balance of things. But that's an argument someone else will have to make. ]

So you are all aware.

Entry tags:

CRYSTAL | A VITAL SURVEY

FORM: crystal
SENDER: Astarion
RECIPIENT: every last one of you
NOTES: a sinner is in ur house

Hello darlings. Lovely little world you’ve got tucked away all to yourselves.

Now I know we’re all here for the sake of a terribly important cause, and trust that I have every intention of doing everything I can to possibly help.

That said...well, for the good of our overall endeavors, I’d like to offer my services to the Division most in need of assistance. Oh don’t worry, I’m perfectly capable of doing just about everything necessary, so for the sake of impartiality, let’s remove my qualifications from the equation.

Now. All that leaves is your own, individual, objective opinion.

So. Tell me. Which Division is the weakest link.

[A sharp intake of breath, before he adds, brightly:]

Ah ah. And none of that 'oh but they're all equal in my eyes' goody-goody nonsense. We're doing this for practicality, not brownie points. No, I want you to look deep into your hearts and give it to me just as straight— or as crookedly as you can possibly imagine.