Sending Crystal

[lifeofendurance]

FORM: Sending Crystal
SENDER: Aleron Darton
RECIPIENT: The Inquisition
WHAT: Al's Mama has sent an unwanted gift. He wants to give it away.
WHEN: Nowish, but wiggleroom for responses
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: Nuglets. Mama is trying to teach him how to diplomacy. Ahahahahaha. Fail.

[That squeaking sound? That's the sound of a crate of nuglets. Eight nug babies to be precise. Over the top of it can be heard Aleron grousing under his breath: Maker and I thought the dresses were bad.]

It appears I have come into the possession of a crate of nugs, which I am to 'distribute as I see fit'?

[Quiet muttered grumbling as he tries reading the note again and sweet Andraste has Mama gone mad?]

Honestly, Mother, how am I to know what... 'prized pets with darling outfits'? Why?

There is attire of some sort for the nugs if that is of any interest. They'll be in the Gallows for anyone who wants them.

Comments

[inagutterson]

[Directed at literally all of you talking about nugs in the kitchen:]

Stop talking about eating the children, my twenty children are listening those could be their relatives you're talking about you animals.

[rowancrowned]

Twenty-one.

[ faint snuffling and squeaking can be heard in the background. ]

[inagutterson]

Thranduil...

[By the way that is the softest you have ever heard Yngvi speaking ever at all.]

You didn't!

[rowancrowned]

[ he's not returning her. she's small and her boots are fantastically well-crafted and he's curious if a) the cobbler makes human-sized ones and b) if they'll sell to an elf. ]

She is too young to pull a chariot.

[inagutterson]

[Of course this nug is the fanciest nug already, he knows what to get you for the holidays now. Everyone loves a subscription!]

But never too young to learn Diamondback. D'you pick out a name for her yet?

[rowancrowned]

Mm. 'Leviathan'.

[ thranduil she's literally the size of your hand and also maybe the outsider would not like a nug named after him, even if she is the cutest shade of chocolate brown.

thoughtfully: ] I have not named a creature before.

[faithlikeaseed]

[There's a little stifled snrk of abashed amusement from Myr, because: What do you do with this??]

My apologies to you and the children. [He's utterly sincere about that.] S'pose if these ones came with papers they're not intended for the table.

[inagutterson]

[Name he knows from that One Terrible Rescue but it has a lot of sounds he'll garble so yeah sorry mate he won't even try.]

Why do people assume that just because they're nugs they get eaten, bit of a broad statement. They're nugs, they're good beasts. That keg? Mine pulled it across Orlais to Skyhold.

[faithlikeaseed]

[He'd probably do as poorly with Yngvi; there's a reason besides he tells people to call him by his nickname.]

Because they've only ever heard of them for food, I'd guess; that's how I'm used to thinking of them, since we didn't have pets in the Circles. [...but he could have one now, if he wanted. Huh.]

They can do that? [Admiring; he remembers the keg.] Was that all twenty of them together at once?

[inagutterson]

Even in Orzammar - you're making me give Orzammar credit, I need a bath now - they keep them as pets. They're not just for eating even down there where they're some of the only things with meat on 'em that aren't tainted.

Course, storied history that nugs have. [Wasn't there a battle they're never to speak of? A ballad? A nug king?] Two teams of ten, named them after the right things and just give them some inspiration and off they charge.

[faithlikeaseed]

[He doesn't know much from dwarves beyond what little he's read on the subject and what little he's got from Kit. He doesn't know why someone might hold the name of their city in derision. But:] Sorry, [laughingly, but it's sympathetic laughter, mostly at himself,] to have made that necessary; all I've got to blame is my own ignorance. I'll try not to think of them as only food from here on.

What's the right kind of name for a nug? And--how are they as pets, anyhow? [...He isn't seriously considering getting one. Maybe unseriously considering it.]

[lifeofendurance]

Ah, I apologize, serah. It was not my intention to spark a debate over their culinary purposes.

[inagutterson]

Apologise to the nugs, mate.

[lifeofendurance]

I apologize to them as well.

[Wait, what?]

[inagutterson]

[Again the sending crystal is set down and there's a lot of snuffling and squeaking. Did you want to know what twenty nugs investigating one at the same time sounds like? Too bad you do now.]

[justice_is_blond]

[He'll snicker, because he thinks this is a joke, but he'll say nothing else just in case.]</small?

[inagutterson]

[Anders.

Anders do you hear this sound. It's a sending crystal being lowered very carefully into where twenty nugs are curled in a heap.

Up close and personal nug ASMR.]

[justice_is_blond]

[What is that noise. It's squeaking and snorffles and... Maker, he's serious. Anders is at a rare loss for words.

Eventually he gets his amusement under control.]

I'd no idea you were serious. How do you keep track of twenty nugs?

[inagutterson]

Always running around doing something, making traps and mechanisms, tinkering. S'nice having nugs. They don't all look exactly alike, people can tell dogs apart so you spend enough time around nugs you figure it out, Stroganugg's a big bold one, Jambonette flops over to sleep first chance there is and they stick together.

[He is a good dad and also has nug twenty-one on a timeshare with Thranduil now so there's that.]

[justice_is_blond]

Cats are much the same way. They've their own personalities, their own ways they like to be pet, their own ways to flop over on the ground... and their own way of making trouble.

[This is reawakening his desire for a second cat. There's no chance he can have twenty, but maybe he can get a second. It also does mean that he's going to make a change on the crystals, because while he knows people get hungry enough to eat cats, hearing about it isn't pleasant.]

I'll not speak of... what I was publicly on the crystals again. I'd no idea their popularity as pets had spread beyond those who stayed in Skyhold.

[el_tybs]

You have twenty nugs?

... Where have you been keeping them?

[inagutterson]

Samouel how have you not met them, did you think I just swapped the names around?

And they're nugs. It's not like I'm stacking twenty mabari on top of each other, they trundle about or curl up in a little heap in the keg or under my bed.

[el_tybs]

I don't recall meeting any nugs, save for the one Cole brought back to Skyhold wearing little red boots.

[Now he's going to be up all night trying to recall her name.]

Guess the better question is, have you had nugs this whole time I've known you? [Because that would be something if twenty nugs had been traveling with the Boneflayers this whole time and then from Skyhold to Kirkwall.]

[inagutterson]

No, I got them when I decided I wanted to go to Orlais before coming to Skyhold. Needed a way to get here so nug-drawn chariot was the only reasonable option so I've had this lot since I came to Skyhold alone about a year ago now.

[Wow it's really been a year how did that happen?]

[el_tybs]

[Well damn, it has been a year hasn't it?]

Ah huh... I didn't know that. Don't think I got introduced.