003.

[propulsion]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Tony Stark
RECIPIENT: All
NOTES: n/a

Listen up. Few items.

You see someone with a green glowy thing in their hand, they may be capable of more than just a sick rave party. Well documented abilities include offensive energy expulsions and flash-shields, and a couple shard-bearers able to close rifts at a time. New documented abilities include those things, but more, and the ability to close a rift on their lonesome.

And if you also notice a rifter capable of phasing through solid objects, distorting time, blasting green lightning, ask yourself: is that rifter extremely handsome, well groomed, articulate, witty, smells nice, killer biceps? If those things apply, don't freak out, it's on purpose, and not a demon.

Second thing — if you find a rift you weren't expecting, take out a little piece of paper, or write on the back of your hand, the day and time you discovered it, and the day and time it was closed. And the day and time it opened, if you catch that, but we'll settle for the license plate. Forward all notes to Wysteria Poppell.

[ Shuffle shuffle paper sounds. ]

Last thing, uh. Hey, the world is round. Like it's a giant sphere, floating in space. Okay, that's all. Bye now.

Comments

[okayimin]

[ The most put upon sigh. ]

Well, I knew something of the last part at least. I suppose the rest is to do with the direct connection to the Fade the shard gives?

[propulsion]

Yep.

Did you also know the part about how the world is also spinning a thousand miles an hour and hurtling through space in rotation of the sun?

[acreage]

[ it occurs to him that in the handful of times he's tried to explain space to people, he didn't think to make sure if they know that the world is round ]

Is your next PSA on anchor shards going to end with an explanation of the solar system?

[propulsion]

I have the papier-mâché on standby, but I don't see my solar system becoming relevant.

[bouchonne]

No!

[propulsion]

Would I lie?

[deceivingly]

You are owing me a demonstration. I have not forgotten. And now that I have heard all of this, it is the 'those things, but more' that I want to see.

[propulsion]

Sure. But it'll cost you.

[innerharbor]

Don't tell 'em it all goes 'round the sun.

[okayimin]

That mean you're not going to give an encore lesson with the marbles and sheet.

[propulsion]

They took the news about microbes pretty well. I figure a regular drip feed of the Enlightenment period is good for the immune system.

[lumelume]

A sphere!!

By space do you mean the Fade?

[propulsion]

Absolutely not.

[positioning]

And Wysteria Poppell will give us some coin in exchange for this information?

[propulsion]

Pretty sure we get wages, but I appreciate the hustle.

[heirring]

Pardon?

[propulsion]

Literally no one will do this.

[lettenhove]

Of course the world is a sphere. Saying otherwise is just silly. They wouldn't call it the Conjunction of the Spheres if they were flat.

[propulsion]

What did you just say to me?

[hornswoggle]

Perhaps you could commission one of our resident artists to make an informational diagram on the subject of differentiating rifters from demons. Bill to the Diplomacy office, of course.

[propulsion]

Can't be me. That's just what a demon would do.

[elegiaque]

For the record, I did do that.

[murderbaby]

Please refrain from phasing through the library's stacks unless you also feel like dusting them.

What does it float in? Your sphere.

[propulsion]

Space. And it's your sphere too. Everyone's got a slice.

[rowancrowned]

Yes, this world is round. Do others believe it to be elsewise?