003.

[propulsion]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Tony Stark
RECIPIENT: All
NOTES: n/a

Listen up. Few items.

You see someone with a green glowy thing in their hand, they may be capable of more than just a sick rave party. Well documented abilities include offensive energy expulsions and flash-shields, and a couple shard-bearers able to close rifts at a time. New documented abilities include those things, but more, and the ability to close a rift on their lonesome.

And if you also notice a rifter capable of phasing through solid objects, distorting time, blasting green lightning, ask yourself: is that rifter extremely handsome, well groomed, articulate, witty, smells nice, killer biceps? If those things apply, don't freak out, it's on purpose, and not a demon.

Second thing — if you find a rift you weren't expecting, take out a little piece of paper, or write on the back of your hand, the day and time you discovered it, and the day and time it was closed. And the day and time it opened, if you catch that, but we'll settle for the license plate. Forward all notes to Wysteria Poppell.

[ Shuffle shuffle paper sounds. ]

Last thing, uh. Hey, the world is round. Like it's a giant sphere, floating in space. Okay, that's all. Bye now.

Comments

[propulsion]

Literally no one will do this.

[heirring]

[She scoffs, all offense - not wholly sure which part it's attributed to and in what proportion she is put out over it.]

Well, they should.

[propulsion]

Hard agree. And if anyone'll get them to, it's definitely you.

[ :)? ]

[heirring]

[>:(.]

If I pursue this, you will consider it done as a favor. I am not your assistant.

[propulsion]

Sure. I owe you.

[ —probably way too easy. Paperwork is the worst. But then, because he can't help himself; ]

But let's put it on record that you like researching rifts and filing and shaking people down for information. So I assume the return of favour will be a thing I actively care about and enjoy.

[heirring]

I will take it into consideration.

[propulsion]

Great.

I wanna start mapping these things. We can't cover whole countries but we sample some sectors. See if there's a pattern besides Egg Race and his thing.

[heirring]

[Egg Race.]

Very well. Have you considered putting a bounty of the information as well? To motivate someone other than ourselves - Riftwatch, I mean - to locate them on our behalf. I realize we receive reports and requests to close rifts from magistrates and farmers and so already, but those are largely accidental encounters.