crystal.

[exequy]

FORM: Crystal.
SENDER: Kostos.
RECIPIENT: Everyone.
NOTES: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Also threadjacking is rad, banter and bicker freely.

The worst country in Thedas—other than Tevinter—

[ A given. ]

—it is Orlais, right? We can all agree to that.

[ Look, he's bored. ]

Comments

[elegiaque]

Don't stick your fingers up the collective Orlesian cunt if you don't like what comes off on your hand.

[sulahnan]

That's as appropriate as Orlais gets, kid.

[mereandrastianism]

I beg your pardon?

[okayimin]

It's full of the most stiffbacked dogmatic little prigs with a superiority complex based on false convictions of their own purity to rival any number of smug Orlesian clerics and a few lords besides. At least Orlesians are obsessed with scandal and gossip that an academic can get on with it without tripping over nug fucked Chanters every other step.

[mereandrastianism]

I sincerely doubt that, Serah.

[sulahnan]

Rivain, generally.

[sulahnan]

Of course you would, with ears like yours.

[okayimin]

Limited to my experiences with the Tantervale Sisters. But they are absolutely insufferable.

[elegiaque]

( carefully enunciated as if talking to a very slow child, in native orlesian: )

If I could make out what you were saying around your vigorous attempts to deepthroat my entire country, I'm sure you don't need me to repeat myself.

[extortionate]

[ hang on ]

Wasn't one of you a mage? This the other one?

[elegiaque]

In seriousness, don't say things like that around Orlesian nobility, none of them will care beyond those that are going to imagine you saying it later while they're jerking themselves off, and half of them will assume it means you're trying to indicate you're—well, if you will insist on your tender ears, let's say ripe for conquest.

[exequy]

I can ask them to and see how they feel about it.

[windyvoice]

They let you guys have like basic rights? No alienages? Cus fuckin' good, that shit here is garbage.

[sulahnan]

If they're Orlesian skeletons they shouldn't have a problem.

[exequy]

I am the mage. The other one sounds Antivan and drunk.

silent

[keenly]

[Actually just listening because he's amazed no one has mentioned Ferelden yet, but isn't about to jinx it by commenting on it. The longer it goes on, the more mystified he becomes.]

[exequy]

[ The non-Gwen Orlesians will probably show up eventually, don’t worry. ]

silent

[keenly]

[There it is. That took a whole hour and a half. Doglords are moving up in the world.]

[extortionate]

He the one owes Threefingers money?

[sulahnan]

I dunno the like...intricacies of it or whatever, but they didn't treat me like I wasn't a person while I was there. And apparently down in Llomerryn there's actually a permanent Dalish settlement, and nobody's rushing in to try and kill them every other day.

[elegiaque]

If I'm going to be fingered in public, I'm not going to be told off for moaning.

( Notable Orlesian Poet, Gwenaëlle Baudin )

[sulahnan]

[ snorts and giggles ]

[elegiaque]

( this bitch gets it )

[exequy]

—no. That one is me.

[exequy]

[ It didn’t take even close to that long. ]