(no subject)

[pyrazine]

FORM: Sending Crystal, god help us all
SENDER: Luana Marcos
RECIPIENT: all
WHAT: Someone let her figure this out
WHEN: Today
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: None

You know, I cannot figure it out. Do we hate magic or don't we? Because Inquisition means something totally different where I'm from and I'm getting real mixed messages around here. Bad enough that some of you think that I'm like. What. A hallucination or something? Don't think I don't hear what you say about those of us who didn't grow up in a place where you got everywhere without a car.

[BUT THAT SAID:]

Okay so two questions.

One: if I say spirit, or, maybe like. Fairy? What do you say in response.

And two: What's the next biggest city around here?

Comments

[hassaran]

Surely you aren't about to suggest Denerim.

[bouchonne]

Is there something wrong with Denerim, my dear Marcheress?

[hassaran]

What would you say recommends it over the other cities, leaving Minrathous and Corypheus aside?

[bouchonne]

Why - the fact that it's fun. Have you been to Starkhaven? You can barely even hear a bawdy song in the whole city, drowned out as it is by the dreary mumbling of the Chant. And Cumberland - you've all those awful statues leering down at you.

[pyrazine]

Wait, statues of what?

[bouchonne]

Dead people, I believe. Statues always seem to be of dead people. And the people there always look at you as though you're walking around with shit smeared on your cheek.

[pyrazine]

Oh.

So like Rio.

Are there huge slums?

[bouchonne]

Well, there's the Alienage. Where they keep all the elves.

[pyrazine]

Yeah and okay why do people dislike elves?

Do they eat babies?

Back home they kidnap them I think. Well, not in Brazil. In Ireland?

[bouchonne]

[ A laugh. ]

Say that a little louder. I'd love to get an elf in here to answer that inquiry.

[rowancrowned]

I have never kidnapped a child.

[ yet. ]

[pyrazine]

Good for you.

[rowancrowned]

[ where's his medal, huh?? ]

The answer to your question is a longer one, but no, no kidnapping of children.

[limier]

Have you not?

[ excuse you, elf collector ]

[aenseidhe]

[ oh hell nah. ]

Do you sleep in the same place you shit?

Back home, humans sleep in the same place they shit, I think.

[pyrazine]

Sounds like that smells.

[laurenande]

I have been accused of eating children and the hearts of men on more than one occasion...but such scathing statements are rarely to my face.


Do you wish to ponder why the people of Thedas hate their elves, or the elves who have arrived here?

[pyrazine]

Well, I'm not actually accusing you. I'm just saying that people say that where I'm from. Not eating them. I think just kidnapping.

The Cuca eats kids, though.

The people around here hate elves and I don't know why. Except for the trigger happy sensitive guy who told me I sleep where I shit, you all seem okay.

[laurenande]

The Cuca sounds unpleasant indeed.

[Galadriel does not comment on Iorveth's response, but she does smile privately at the knee-jerk quality of it.]

And your judgment is kinder than most. Quite a number of people in Thedas dislike me...but there are more who feel less adversarial. I suspect the former have focused on the other nature of the Elves and that they fear the possibilities within that nameless quality.

[hassaran]

I've never had that problem.

Nevarrans raise statues of revered ancestors and national heroes. It's not so strange, they just have more than most.

[bouchonne]

I think they should work a little harder to keep their heroes alive, myself. They're clearly doing a terrible job.

And now fair's fair, my un-shit-besmeared lady. What's your problem with Denerim? Hm?

[hassaran]

The fact that you've nothing to recommend it but the ease of hearing bawdy songs. Any dockside tavern in any city in the world can provide that.

[bouchonne]

A poor argument. Dear little provincial Free Marcher. You haven't even ever been there, have you?

[hassaran]

I have. It's small and dirty, with bland food and nothing worth seeing. Any good-sized port or market town in the rest of Thedas would be more interesting.

[bouchonne]

What a rude little minx you are. What brought you there, then?