[ OPEN ] Inquisition's Hot or Hot DAMN

[ombranera]

FORM:Sending Crystal / Posted copy to the bulletin board
SENDER: Zevran Arainai
RECIPIENT: All
WHAT: The Inquisition is full of stupidly pretty people. This bears discussing.
WHEN: Current
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Respectful oogling, language, and adult content.

I think the time has come to ask a very serious question of the Inquisition. Is it just me or is Skyhold full to bursting with ridiculously sexy individuals? We have statuesque Qunari, lithe Dalish, voluptuous Dwarves, Humans in every glorious shade, size, and shape- and every last one of them incredibly attractive. I had thought to myself- 'Zevran, the Inquisition must be turning away those with less than appealing faces' but no. Handsome men and gorgeous women all. I have tried to list out names and rate them but, alas, there are too many even for I to form an opinion.

Too many gorgeous people. Is that not a marvelous problem to have?

And so I turn to you, my fellow members of the Inquisition. I ask for your aid because I simply cannot keep up with all the lovely people on my own. From a scale of "I would have them tomorrow" to "I would have them right now", how would you rate the beautiful people of Skyhold?

In the interest of fairness- if you name a name? You must list what of them you find terribly attractive- what of them drives you to the point of distraction. I shall go first!

Dorian Pavus - If there is anyone here that might, and I do mean might possibly be prettier than me? It is Dorian. Have you seen him? How can anyone look upon that man and not be at least a little enchanted, if not enthralled? Those smoldering eyes, that sultry voice, the teasing mustache; he I would have right now should he wish.

Merrill - What can I say? She is an utter delight in every possible way- fine boned and sweet, under that innocent smile I promise there is a terribly naughty mind just waiting to be unleashed. Her as well I would have in a heartbeat were I not afraid for my life due to the protective nature of some of her friends.

Knight-Captain Maria - The allure of a dutiful woman is beyond measuring. Her skill in battle, that wry humor, her devotion- I am certain under that templar armor there is a body that would bring many a man and woman to their knees in worship. She? I would have in an hour as I am certain it would take that long to get her out of the armor.

Taashath - I would climb the man like a tree- I have climbed the man like a tree. Those broad shoulders, that rack, his voice, the way his muscles ripple- Maker just recounting the things of him that I find alluring has me a little distracted, I apologize. Reshaping the friendly shores indeed. There is a delightful danger to him- and as such I would have him within an hour, for being made ready takes about that long.

Comments

[tactical_alert]

...I understand that keeping up morale is an important part of any army, but is this really the way to go about it, ser?

[ombranera]

Do you think it is not? Look how many smiling or laughing voices there are now!

[tactical_alert]

I...suppose that's a fair point. It's a rather unconventional manner.

[ombranera]

That is my second name after all. Zevran Unconventional Arainai.

[tactical_alert]

And might make some uncomfortable? It's a bit scandalous, in a fashion.

[ombranera]

Most that have been spoken of seem to be flattered by the attention. I have not yet heard anyone ask that they not be mentioned.

[tactical_alert]

Have you any intentions other than to let those with looser tongues waggle about those they have, ahem, a visual appreciation for?

We don't need any influx of betrothals, after all.

[ombranera]

Betrothals are for the noble. Finding a partner for knocking boots? Is for everyone.

[tactical_alert]

[scoff] Yes, I'd like to see those singing the praises of, say, Seeker Pentaghast try and knock her boots. She'll be doing the knocking. To their faces, most likely, or their more tender bits otherwise.

[ombranera]

No, no, no- Seeker Pentaghast is the Right Hand of the Divine. One does not oogle the right hand of the divine and imagine her in bed.

[tactical_alert]

And yet it happens nevertheless. Publicly. Vocally.

[ombranera]

Did I say anything about her other than an admiration for her skill in battle?

[tactical_alert]

Is that so. And others, too, they are merely admiring her fighting skills?

[ombranera]

Whether or not that is the case is not my concern, for they are not ALL the Right Hand of the Divine.

[tactical_alert]

And the Left Hand? Would you dare to comment on her?

[ombranera]

Never. Leliana is a friend and while I have other friends I would speak of in such a way gladly- she is not among them.