Griffon gripes

[aventuriere]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Freddie, Val, and Jehan (your favorites!)
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: A Griffon Grievance
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Everywhere
NOTES: Can we say a group of griffons is called a grievance? A grievance of griffons?

Inquisition.

[This is Val. Don’t stop listening, his tone is grave and serious, which means what follows will be equally grave and serious.]

When one thinks of the noblest of creatures, beasts of the air, one must first and always think of griffons. The dragon, she has a certain unspeakable loveliness, a loveliness of her form, in all her savage glory, but if the word to meditate upon is nobility, then it is the griffon that comes first to mind. On this, we can all agree, yes?

So, then, tell to me: why complain about the smell? [ Because it is terrible! another accented voice says in the background, muffled. ] Yes, it is a pungent aroma. But nobly so. Less noble and far more worthy of complaint is the habit of the griffon of which books do not speak of: the habit of airborne thievery.

A whole ham, Inquisition.

[ Jeannot—who had his despondent face buried in a pillow, before this point—lifts his head to chime in. ]

A good ham. It tasted of hope. Or I imagine that it must have, before it was swallowed whole by a beast who did not even pause to appreciate it.

We ought to have been warned. And another thing—

And another thing! [ It's Freddie now, talking over Jehan, feel free to begin paying attention again. She sounds incensed, but also like she's probably putting it on a bit. ] Hair ribbons! If the beasts want my last good set of silk hair ribbons I would be more than happy to donate them to the cause of brightening up the horribly dull colors you chose for their tack, but I won't have them eaten! It shows an appalling lack of taste which would never have happened if these fine Orlesian creatures had been properly raised.

Perhaps it is not the tack that is the problem? Perhaps it is the color of the griffons themselves. The horrible grays, and duns - the griffons are surely desperate. I would be. Can you dye the feathers, do you think?

—I was going to say, [ Jehan continues, ] I think we are owed an explanation, as academics, for this reemergence of an extinct species. As well as a new ham. If we are given these things then perhaps we can offer ribbons and dye.

And if we offer these griffons ribbons, and dye, and perhaps the smallest piece of our ham - I will take the cut, my friends - perhaps then the griffons will find themselves more kindly disposed to us. And by us I mean me. [If Val sounds a little sulky, that’s because he is.] What an unkindness. I will stoop to bribery if I must, griffons.

Comments

[mythalenaste]

I do believe that, [she agrees firmly.] Though you seem to be holding up well enough, living outside of privilege for the first time. You're not really even complaining about a lack of privilege, just that a griffon stole your ham. People ought to be kinder to you.

[degenere]

Thank you.

Although I was, partially, speaking with sarcasm. We three have spent many long months outside of privileges one might associate with those of Orlais. A country does not a man make--at least, not entirely. And we are adventurers.

If a griffon stole your ham, would you not complain?

[mythalenaste]

I...don't think I knew that. Sorry. I knew you're a scholar, I didn't know you travel so much.

[So they're...really not at all different, but for the little matter of race. And charm. He has so much charm.]

I don't blame you for complaining. Hams are expensive. You should complain. And probably steal a ham from whoever was supposed to be minding the griffon.

[degenere]

Please, there is no need to apologize. It is not every scholar that takes to field research as we have. Not so strictly, anyways, and in the field. It is just that we have found the best way in which to learn is to experience that which we would learn about.

Your suggestion is excellent. But I am not sure that the griffon keeper has a ham which to steal. She strikes me as singularly unhappy.

[mythalenaste]

That depends on whether the griffon shared your hope-ham with her.

[degenere]

[A PAUSE.]

They bring back offerings to her?

[mythalenaste]

[Muffled laughter.]

I doubt it, but would you be surprised if they did?

[degenere]

In truth? Yes. A little surprised. It would not quite make sense with all that I have read of griffons, but as we thought them gone from the world, or nearly gone, I suppose this fact could be true of them.

And they were raised by her. A surrogate familial loyalty could have been encouraged. Perhaps even falsely encouraged.