crystal | if i promise that i'll be real good,

[poleaxed]

FORM: crystal as you please.
SENDER: Jone of Denerim.
RECIPIENT: Everybody.
NOTES: Jone's mouth.

I ain't been here long. Have we ever had a proper tourney, like?

We've horses enough for the joust. We've space for the melee. Some of you, I've heard tell, can manage well enough with a lute. And there can be betting, if any could be bothered to bookie. You know, so you can join in even if you can't hold a weapon or ride a sodding horse.

Has anyone done that? Might be worthwhile, yeah? Considering... things can get a bit boring, staying all in one place, if you ain't careful.

Comments

[elegiaque]

Last time Riftwatch attended a tourney Orlais got invaded, but I don't know that everyone here considers that a downside.

[poleaxed]

It ain't.

Anyroad, Orlesian tourneys are a lot like being trepanned-- I imagine. Though the last one I went to, a twat did try to bore a hole in me skull.

[elegiaque]

I've never understood what's the point of them if you don't.

( you know, kill someone. )

[poleaxed]

Money, mostly. Money, reputation, which could get you more money. There's a whole circuit. I'm a merc, there are those who just do tourneys, all their lives. It's a job.

It's a shit job, but it is one.

[elegiaque]

That accounts for why you do it, but they're almost always the least interesting part of attending, and all the interesting parts you can get without having to sit through a tourney.

[poleaxed]

Maybe true, that. If I'm honest, I've never been in the stands, like. Never considered being on that end, and you're right, I'd likely cut me throat before making the switch.

[archademode]

You simply want others to applaud you for bloodying your knuckles.

[poleaxed]

No, you lout.

I want them to pay me.

[archademode]

You?

[Such aspirations, Jone.]

Is payment not solely the realm of the victor?

[elegiaque]

If Riftwatch is running it, no one's getting paid.

[archademode]

Say nothing of that to Jone of Denerim, then. You’ll dash her hopes before they’ve even begun.

[elegiaque]

No, I absolutely want to see someone propose to Flint and the spy mistress that they should open the Gallows to enough of the public to make the betting worth it.

( this may fall under the bloodthirstiness jone correctly assessed accused her of. )

[poleaxed]

S'more about betting pools. Do well enough, you can dip in a bit.

I'm for the joust, anyway. Ain't fair to put me in the melee.

[archademode]

Unfair only if your opponents were meager.

[Something something experienced armored knight goes here, etc.

Still, though...]

Tell me how it works, then. The sport you aim for.

[poleaxed]

They're just trying to get by, Gab, go easy on 'em.

Jousting? It's a laugh. [Her voice brightens, obviously excited to be talking about it, like a sports fan finally getting to mention their favorite team] Two armored lads on horse charge at each other, shield and lance-- wooden, blunt tips. One of you has to unhorse the other in three runs down a line. The aim ain't to kill, but it happens. Real skill is winning without maiming.

[Which, knowing her skillset, means she isn't immediately advantaged.]

[katabasis]

[In the tones of a stern grandfather turning his attention in the direction of a child's messy art project—]

Order the bracket and I'll see that there's some manner of prizes to be won.

[poleaxed]

I'm no-

[Give her a moment to realize she's not actually in trouble.]

Right. Dead thankful, ser, I am.

[katabasis]

[You're welcome must live in his very brief pause.]

Say when and the number of events you manage to turn out.

[poleaxed]

I'll have it writ up for you when I've an idea, ser. Planning to see if I can string in a rich t-... patron for it as well.

[katabasis]

I believe you've been in conversation with Madame Baudin. She may have a familial reference in good standing with whom you might request an introduction.

[The Duke de Coucy surely qualifies as a rich tit.]

At the very least, he might serve as a lead.

[truthtied]

[ Hello, yes, she is excited. ]

I didn't realize you had games like that in this world. Does the melee involve all the competitors fighting together? Is it only the jousting and melee?

[poleaxed]

'Course we have.

That depends what's in season. But lately melee's most popular one-on-one. There's the quintain, but that ain't been in season for ages. And tupinaire's for real knobs, I'll have naught to do with it. And only cunts like pas d'armes.

[As ever, her Orlesian pronunciation is surprisingly good.]

[truthtied]

I'm afraid I'm not familiar with any of those, but I'll take your word for which to avoid should I encounter them in the wilds. It will be the melee and jousting for us then? Are there any races or things like shot throw?

[poleaxed]

Not that I've heard. Sounds flash, though.

[truthtied]

[ Diana has long ago resigned herself to never knowing anything about slang, so: ]

Flash?