FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Silver & Flint
RECIPIENT: Riftwatch
NOTES: Hey you! Get a job already! Silver is blue; Flint is red.
While we've a momentary lull between more urgent disasters, the Commander and I have received a few requests that require some attention. As you might imagine, volunteers would be appreciated.
[ Though that will not stop respondents from being voluntold to handle the forthcoming tasks. Low, at some remove from the crystal: Your's first, or mine?
From the margins, a throat clears in answer.]
There appears to be a well armed contingent of [thieving scoundrels] speculators set up at the foot of one of the major bridges into Ostwick who are now extorting merchant caravans in exchange for safe passage. They need to be relocated—ideally to a bridge where the people crossing it are more deserving of harassment.
You'll be provided with a map, with some options for ideal relocation circled. [ A flutter of rustling parchment, before: ] And speaking of relocations, we've a strapping Antivan making a nuisance of himself at one of the main roads into Kirkwall, seeking dueling partners. I'm hoping we've someone among us who can persuade him to pick up a new hobby. Gently, [is punctuated by a derisive snort from Silver's in-person peanut gallery.] given we can't be sure who he's related to.
We've also need of four hands to scrub, sand, and reapply tar and paint to two fishing boats we've acquired, and a duty roster for swimming and man overboard drills has been implemented for the coming weeks. [Why yes, some might still consider the present season 'winter'; all the more reason to practice getting dumped into bone chilling water and conducting rescues.]
Lastly, [There is just the barest flicker of a pause, as if Flint is keenly aware of firestorm about to be unleashed and isn't particularly thrilled about all the scorch marks that are bound to result:]
Lady Amelda Araminta Rowan Carolina Sinette Hillingham.
[ Prompting, delivering the full waterfall of names without a trace of humor. The very minor cough at the tailend is certainly not masking a snicker.
And more stonily yet, is if someone is sitting somewhere staring very hard at nothing:] Has requested a temporary replacement for her personal guard.
And while we have so many options, there are some requirements any hopefuls should consider before submitting their name.
[ Requirements, delivered with a deceptively casual air. The brief instant of further delay might signal a last stubborn flex of self preservation. But what do they look like? Cowards?]
So consider nominations open for whichever member of Forces we believe would be most attractive to an eighty year old woman.
All suggestions are welcome.
[ is not technically untrue, but is the last thing said before the crystal is slapped off. ]
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