crystal | if i promise that i'll be real good,

[poleaxed]

FORM: crystal as you please.
SENDER: Jone of Denerim.
RECIPIENT: Everybody.
NOTES: Jone's mouth.

I ain't been here long. Have we ever had a proper tourney, like?

We've horses enough for the joust. We've space for the melee. Some of you, I've heard tell, can manage well enough with a lute. And there can be betting, if any could be bothered to bookie. You know, so you can join in even if you can't hold a weapon or ride a sodding horse.

Has anyone done that? Might be worthwhile, yeah? Considering... things can get a bit boring, staying all in one place, if you ain't careful.

Comments

[poleaxed]

It ain't.

Anyroad, Orlesian tourneys are a lot like being trepanned-- I imagine. Though the last one I went to, a twat did try to bore a hole in me skull.

[elegiaque]

I've never understood what's the point of them if you don't.

( you know, kill someone. )

[poleaxed]

Money, mostly. Money, reputation, which could get you more money. There's a whole circuit. I'm a merc, there are those who just do tourneys, all their lives. It's a job.

It's a shit job, but it is one.

[elegiaque]

That accounts for why you do it, but they're almost always the least interesting part of attending, and all the interesting parts you can get without having to sit through a tourney.

[poleaxed]

Maybe true, that. If I'm honest, I've never been in the stands, like. Never considered being on that end, and you're right, I'd likely cut me throat before making the switch.

[elegiaque]

Exactly. If someone gets a hole bored in their head, at least you've actually got something to talk about when someone asks how it was.

[poleaxed]

Bit bloodthirsty, that, but then you are Orlesian.

[It's a joke, except for how it's not, which kind of makes it one.]

Knew some blokes who faked getting maimed in the melee every time, and none could be bothered to string 'em up for it. They were just too entertaining, I reckon.

[elegiaque]

I don't know, Orlais likes tourneys a little much to be held responsible for why I don't.

But at least someone's making an effort.

[poleaxed]

You like tourneys as long as someone dies gruesomely. My imperial bloody apology for you never getting to gut someone in front of a cheering crowd for your own self. Hate it when fate gets in the way of dreams.

If I ever remember their names, I'll see if they're still working, but I've been hit in the fucking head enough times at these things I'll not make you promises.

[elegiaque]

No, I see where you misunderstood me. None of that would actually make a tourney something I enjoy. But if your bar for enjoyment is at least I'd have a borderline interesting anecdote afterwards, I'm slightly concerned you need better hobbies.

[poleaxed]

Well, ta for the constructive criticism.

[elegiaque]

Any time.