MOD PLOT ↠ SECRET STEEP'D ROOTS: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?

[faderifting]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Various
RECIPIENT: Everyone
NOTES: A catch-all for trying to figure out how to get the jungleteers back home. If you signed up for a mini jungle adventure or a research assignment and we gave you some info that contained clues to the jungle's location, please share them here! Everyone else is also welcome to participate and try to sort out where they are and what to do about it.

Comments

[sarcophage]

Mm. [That might be an affirmative.] Most were left in pieces. Monkeys took the majority of them, left the arses behind. I suppose those aren't the tasty bits. They came quickly, too, even despite—

[the fire]

—the commotion, almost as if they'd been hunting them. Isaac or Valentine might have salvaged some, you'll have to ask them.

[aventuriere]

Salvaged some monkeys or some ant arses?

[sarcophage]

Let's split the difference and call it monkey arses.

[aventuriere]

I must say that sounds like the worst of both worlds. Are they at least an interesting color? I one saw a monkey in the forest of Rivain that was remarkably orange.

[sarcophage]

These weren't orange, they were an earthy colour with some white fluffy bits. Unless you mean the back end specifically—I'm afraid I didn't look too hard. They did have a kind of whisker... like a long moustache, actually.

[aventuriere]

A monkey with a mustache? That's almost charming. Was it the curly sort that were in fashion a few years ago?

[sarcophage]

Regrettably, no. Perhaps the men among us should grow some and set an example for them.

[forwardmomentum]

Well, if anyone needs a photographic reference for new wave fashion or a possible cartographical source, I think I've found one. There's a volume in the library with a sketch of a creature that pretty much matches your description. Calls it the "Seer's monkey" -- and it's apparently known to make its natural habitat in the tropical forests of northern Rivain.

[sarcophage]

[Photographic— what? Oh, but the rest of this message—]

Then unless there's another colony yet to be discovered, that could mean we're in northern Rivain. You wonderful man. Have you conferred with anyone else? Compared notes?

[hassaran]

This seems promising, and would explain the Qunari items Miss Jones reported. But we've also seen a snake that Miss Miniver has read is found in the jungle near the Feral Fjords, north of the Donarks.

[ipseite]

If I may—Miss Jones' report put me in mind of something I have recently read, regarding the Seer's monkey and the late Fostro Hubert's belief that it was in point of fact not native to Rivain but rather likely to have come to those parts by early human settlers or, pertinently, the Qunari settlers of Kon-Taar.

[sarcophage]

Ah.

[A notable pause.]

Have they settled the Donarks?

[sumptus]

They've a colony. Qundalon, on the Colean Sea.

It's not right in the thick of the Donarks, but that doesn't mean they haven't spread.

[forwardmomentum]

Working on that now. I'll let you know once I know more. If it helps, the book says the name's thought to be a corruption of "Seere" as in the city. I think that narrows the odds a bit, don't you?

[sarcophage]

Yes... and I've just realized this means we might have to sail around the whole of Rivain to get back. Ugh, another travelling beard.

[forwardmomentum]

Another? Have you been managing to shave out there?

[sarcophage]

Of course I have. Don't you bring a kit when you travel? I simply prefer not to hold a razor near my face while aboard a ship.

[forwardmomentum]

I mean -- I do carry a kit, yes, but it's got a tube of depilatory cream, not an actual razor blade. I doubt it'd last me a whole month.

[sarcophage]

Well, perhaps you ought to start carrying one.

[forwardmomentum]

[ just a bit dryly: ] Yes, I figured I'd have trouble finding my preferred brand in Kirkwall.

[ a beat ]

You're right, though. Granted, I haven't shaved with a straight razor in, uh...quite some time. Starting to think I might be better off growing a beard.

[ he would not. ]

[okayimin]

[ of fucking course valentine would be involved. ]

Guess I better. Would love to crack in and see if there's anything useful. If nothin's eatin' it, it might be corrosive.

[sarcophage]

Mm, definitely venomous. Not a single buttock was eaten.

[okayimin]

[suspicious squint ]

Are you trying to be provocative.

[sarcophage]

Me? Of course not, Sister. I'm stating a fact.

[okayimin]

Hm.

Well, in any case, ass or not, it may be worth investigating.