diplomacy, gird your loins.

[bouchonne]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Byerly and Eshal.
RECIPIENT: All y'all
NOTES: Blue is Byerly, red is Eshal.

Bonsoir, Riftwatch. I have some dreadful news for you all.

[ Byerly’s voice sounds a bit dry. And characteristically dramatic. ]

My dear comrade and equal, would you like to tell them?

It's not dreadful, get over yourself. Anyway, Diplomacy has two heads, because we're better than the lot of them. Right?

Oh, yes. It’s widely acknowledged as a show of faith to appoint two people to do the job normally done by one. A task given only to truly quality prospects.

Exactly.

[ A sigh. ]

My esteemed self and this esteemed lady have been appointed joint heads of Diplomacy. She, being a decent and righteous soul, has volunteered to hear any and all complaints that might be made about this decision.

Yep. Love to meet the rest of you, honestly. Come by the head office, any time. I'll supply the whiskey.

[ Byerly lifts an eyebrow at her; he’d expected a protest to him volunteering her for that thankless duty. But, well, if she’s willing to be the goat here, let her be the goat. A shrug. That’s it. Meet your new overseers. ]

Comments

[saam]

Well, fuck. Put me down for ten gold, anyway. In our favor.

[unshut]

Charming. I'll have it noted in my books directly.

[saam]

That's Eshal Fazon, then. Pleasure, Serah.

[unshut]

Fitcher - so you might know my name when I come to collect.

I'm afraid I must also ask for a favor, Mistress Fazon.

[saam]

I'll hear it.

[unshut]

That you name your next of kin, should the worst happen and I cannot claim the debt from you directly.

[RIP Madame Martina Klein.]

[saam]

[A bark of laughter.]

Haven't got any family. What then?

[unshut]

Then your second. Or do your people not duel?

[saam]

Don't, actually. But I get your point.

I lose and I'm dead, take my spear. Real Qunari make, rare as shit, twice as sturdy. Worth more than anything my bet could be.

[And if Fitcher knows anything about her people, she'll know how important that spear is.]

[unshut]

My, that is very considerate. I of course hope we avoid such indecent circumstances, but one must protect themselves.

Congratulations on your new position, Mistress Fazon.

[saam]

[Scoff.] Mistress. Just call me Eshal. Pleasure doing business with you. Come by the ring any time.

[unshut]

If you swear to make an appearance at my card games, Eshal.

[bouchonne]

Hold on now.

[unshut]

Yes?

[bouchonne]

Why are you letting her bet.

[unshut]

The woman in question has already made herself a reputation for fairness and honor with the conduct of her fighting ring, Messere. The people would revolt if I didn't allow our Tournament Master to participate.

[bouchonne]

She's held it once.

[unshut]

And yet. Even if I were to agree it is unfair, you can hardly expect me to argue with the affections of an entire city, Messere.

[bouchonne]

People in Kirkwall are fond of me.

[ Y'know, the gamblers and prostitutes. ]

[unshut]

Are they? I had no idea.

[bouchonne]

I bring commerce.

[saam]

Next one's in a week. You should come.

[bouchonne]

Ah, I'm a noted coward. I don't fight at all.

[saam]

That's why there's this thing called watching and betting and drinking. Takes all kinds.

[bouchonne]

And if I swoon at the sight of blood?