open.

[exequy]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Nell Voss & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Helpful advice
WHEN: On the way to Nevarra City
NOTES: Necrophilia mention

Hello, Inquisition. Since we are now on our way to Nevarra, we--your friendly [ accompanied by a quiet snort in the background ] local Nevarrans--thought it would be helpful to provide some basic information about our homeland.

Specifically, questions you should refrain from asking when we get to Nevarra City.

[ They do sound Nevarran, more or less. (Him more, her less.) They also sound like they're probably sharing a bottle in addition to sharing the crystal.

Nell begins: ] Does everyone have sex with corpses?

Do the Mortalitasi have sex with corpses?

Can I have sex with corpses?

Are there dead people in this tavern?

Are there dead people beneath this tavern?

Can I talk to the dead people?

Can you talk to the dead people? Are you a dead person?

If Andrastians elsewhere burn their dead to honor Andraste, because she was likewise burned, does that mean Nevarrans believe she was mummified and stashed somewhere?

Can I see mummified Andraste?

Can I see a mummified dragon?

Are there dragons at court? Does the king have a pet dragon?

Did the king kill his pet dragon?

Isn't the king a dragonslayer? Aren't all Pentaghasts dragonslayers?

Isn't everyone in Nevarra a Pentaghast?

What about necromancers, aren't you all necromancers?

Is the king a necromancer?

Is the king a dead person? And isn't Nevarra basically just Tevinter Junior?

The answer to all of these questions is no. Whatever obvious question we didn't include that you now want to ask us, the answer is also no. If you think it would be clever to make your question a negative so the answer will have to be yes, you are both wrong and obnoxious.

Comments

[unshadowing]

[Oh hey, a non-grumpy person! ...rich words, from the Grumpy One himself.]

Damn, I think I fell asleep at that part of the lesson. Don't suppose it was Fluffy or somesuch?

[galvanising]

Ooh, so close! It was actually... Flappy. Another point for effort all the same. You're pulling well ahead of the field, I must say.

[unshadowing]

Well, damn. Three out of six letters isn't so bad, though. The pity point is appreciated, all the same.

[galvanising]

Not entirely pity, you did get three letters out of six, after all. Call it partial credit.

Where are you from, Mister Carver? You seem to know a lot about our king for a fellow from...Ferelden, maybe?

[unshadowing]

You have it on the nose. Born in Ferelden, but haven't lived there in quite some time.

[galvanising]

That's a shame. Where have you been in the meanwhile?

[unshadowing]

Everywhere. The Wardens go where they're needed.

[galvanising]

Ahh, a Warden. Your kind seems to be thick on the ground around here.

[unshadowing]

Birds of a feather and all. Or because Weisshaupt went to shit. Take your pick.