open.

[exequy]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Nell Voss & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Helpful advice
WHEN: On the way to Nevarra City
NOTES: Necrophilia mention

Hello, Inquisition. Since we are now on our way to Nevarra, we--your friendly [ accompanied by a quiet snort in the background ] local Nevarrans--thought it would be helpful to provide some basic information about our homeland.

Specifically, questions you should refrain from asking when we get to Nevarra City.

[ They do sound Nevarran, more or less. (Him more, her less.) They also sound like they're probably sharing a bottle in addition to sharing the crystal.

Nell begins: ] Does everyone have sex with corpses?

Do the Mortalitasi have sex with corpses?

Can I have sex with corpses?

Are there dead people in this tavern?

Are there dead people beneath this tavern?

Can I talk to the dead people?

Can you talk to the dead people? Are you a dead person?

If Andrastians elsewhere burn their dead to honor Andraste, because she was likewise burned, does that mean Nevarrans believe she was mummified and stashed somewhere?

Can I see mummified Andraste?

Can I see a mummified dragon?

Are there dragons at court? Does the king have a pet dragon?

Did the king kill his pet dragon?

Isn't the king a dragonslayer? Aren't all Pentaghasts dragonslayers?

Isn't everyone in Nevarra a Pentaghast?

What about necromancers, aren't you all necromancers?

Is the king a necromancer?

Is the king a dead person? And isn't Nevarra basically just Tevinter Junior?

The answer to all of these questions is no. Whatever obvious question we didn't include that you now want to ask us, the answer is also no. If you think it would be clever to make your question a negative so the answer will have to be yes, you are both wrong and obnoxious.

Comments

[faithlikeaseed]

How do I say "please burn my body when I die" in Nevarran?

[exequy]

[ In Nevarran, helpfully, but also impatient even in its slow and careful enunciation, ] I have already done you the convenience of wrapping my head.

[aestivation]

[ also in nevarran ]

That isn't how you say that.

[ he's a helper ]

[faithlikeaseed]

...All right, which one of you actually said something that won't get me jailed or assaulted.

[galvanising]

[ also also in Nevarran ]

How about 'please set my hair on fire', that's closer.

[faithlikeaseed]

[doubt]

[faithlikeaseed]

Somehow I've got the feeling that's not any safer than the others.

[exequy]

Then perhaps you should stick with the trade tongue. We speak it.

[faithlikeaseed]

Then I wouldn't have an excuse to annoy you with questions, would I?

[But it also confirmed a hunch he'd had and that's all to the good.]

More seriously, do foreigners who happen to die in Nevarran end up turned over to the Mortalitasi, or are they handled per their own preferences?

[galvanising]

Maker, they're not snatching up corpses off the street or stealing them off pyres. Being preserved in the Necropolis is an honor.

[faithlikeaseed]

Truly? [Curious,] What happens to the displaced spirits, then?

[exequy]

Ideally it possess something in your country rather than ours.

[faithlikeaseed]

[time to careful weigh how much this freaks him out vs curiosity vs this is kostos he's talking to, because one of these things demands approximately a million follow-up questions and the other two say shut up now

...though he could always ask Casimir, but]

Is finding it a home only a practical matter of preventing something else becoming possessed? Not spirit-worship?

[exequy]

If we wanted to worship spirits we would use some capable of having more than a fraction of a thought at a time.

[ They do venerate their ancestors more than most Thedosian, probably, though, with the statues and the pageants. ]

[faithlikeaseed]

[amused huff.] Things not having thoughts hasn't kept other people from worshipping them.

Are there any books on the whole spirit thing that don't get it hopelessly wrong?

[galvanising]

[ dryly ] Have you tried books written by Nevarrans?

[faithlikeaseed]

[equally dry,] Why, no. Surely someone from Orlais or the Anderfels would have a better perspective, being so far removed from the subject.

[aestivation]

Hasmal's libraries reflected the Invasion.

[ or at least its aftermath: a deep-seated wariness of all customs affected by their western neighbour. it's said for nell (information on myr), and not for its own sake. and definitely not just because i'm muscling my way into a third comment for AC bonus purposes ]

It'd be worthwhile to acquire certain volumes during the Inquisition's visit, if funds can be spared. Kirkwall is unquiet, and more esoteric phenomena remain a concern.

[faithlikeaseed]

[that's a way to gut Myr's anxiety and the humor he's using to cover for it,]

Thanks, Cas. [not the full name for once; that means...something, surely.]