open.

[exequy]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Nell Voss & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Helpful advice
WHEN: On the way to Nevarra City
NOTES: Necrophilia mention

Hello, Inquisition. Since we are now on our way to Nevarra, we--your friendly [ accompanied by a quiet snort in the background ] local Nevarrans--thought it would be helpful to provide some basic information about our homeland.

Specifically, questions you should refrain from asking when we get to Nevarra City.

[ They do sound Nevarran, more or less. (Him more, her less.) They also sound like they're probably sharing a bottle in addition to sharing the crystal.

Nell begins: ] Does everyone have sex with corpses?

Do the Mortalitasi have sex with corpses?

Can I have sex with corpses?

Are there dead people in this tavern?

Are there dead people beneath this tavern?

Can I talk to the dead people?

Can you talk to the dead people? Are you a dead person?

If Andrastians elsewhere burn their dead to honor Andraste, because she was likewise burned, does that mean Nevarrans believe she was mummified and stashed somewhere?

Can I see mummified Andraste?

Can I see a mummified dragon?

Are there dragons at court? Does the king have a pet dragon?

Did the king kill his pet dragon?

Isn't the king a dragonslayer? Aren't all Pentaghasts dragonslayers?

Isn't everyone in Nevarra a Pentaghast?

What about necromancers, aren't you all necromancers?

Is the king a necromancer?

Is the king a dead person? And isn't Nevarra basically just Tevinter Junior?

The answer to all of these questions is no. Whatever obvious question we didn't include that you now want to ask us, the answer is also no. If you think it would be clever to make your question a negative so the answer will have to be yes, you are both wrong and obnoxious.

Comments

[exequy]

No one has sex with the corpses.

[galvanising]

Heinrich.

[exequy]

[ DISGUSTED NOISE ^TM ]

[galvanising]

If I have to remember him, so do you.

[earthbones]

[Right she's going to ignore your Weird Mage Talk like she ignores basically all weird mage talk and--]

You've never met a Dunmer then. No one would keep a pet dragon unless they wanted to be roasted or have their ear talked off. [Six of one, half dozen of the other.]

Mortalitasi is a fancy word for saying people playing with dead bodies for whatever reason they have for playing with dead bodies? And everyone's just-- fine with that? It's all legal? And allowed?

Long list if it's all fine.

[exequy]

[ There’s so much here. What the fuck is a Dunmer. Of course they haven’t met one. And of course no one would really keep a pet dragon—but how is that related to Dunmer and whether or not they’ve met them and, apparently, to sex with corpses?—and why are the dragons talking. But all of those questions and this woman’s overall bewilderingness can be summed up fairly succinctly: ]

You’re a rifter.

[ So she’s only possibly mad instead of definitely, and there’s no need either way to disentangle the rest of that to find coherent meaning. ]

No one plays with the bodies. They’re mummified and given as hosts to displaced spirits. That’s all.

[earthbones]

That just goes above all the other shit then.

[It can take the Dragonborn, Ysmir Dragon of the North shite for all she cares, and the times they've called her Thane but Listener, Guildmaster, Harbinger? Quite likes those. Bosmer too. Yeah. Pretty fond of being what she is.

Anyway--]

That's all. Letting a thing possess a body? How is it just 'that's all'? That's what you call cultists.

[galvanising]

You should probably go with the group heading back to Kirkwall. I don't think you and Nevarra are going to get along.

[earthbones]

Saying it to you two, not any of them - is the place I'm going to any better?

[Be honest with her, corpse-toucher's back-up.]

[exequy]

[ Corpse-toucher is sitting right next to his back-up and here to provide honesty himself. ]

Kirkwall’s corpse possessions are primarily accidental.

[earthbones]

Don't you people have priests?

[Okay. Okay sometimes they let that get out of hand. Mostly in Skyrim where everyone is an idiot.)]

[exequy]

Yes—?

[earthbones]

So how are your corpses getting possessed if you've got priests? Too busy ranting and raving about who you should worship to actually do the practical part.

[exequy]

Priests can’t do anything about spirits.

[earthbones]

Pretty shit priests you've got then, divines must've turned their backs.