open.

[exequy]

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Nell Voss & Kostos Averesch
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Helpful advice
WHEN: On the way to Nevarra City
NOTES: Necrophilia mention

Hello, Inquisition. Since we are now on our way to Nevarra, we--your friendly [ accompanied by a quiet snort in the background ] local Nevarrans--thought it would be helpful to provide some basic information about our homeland.

Specifically, questions you should refrain from asking when we get to Nevarra City.

[ They do sound Nevarran, more or less. (Him more, her less.) They also sound like they're probably sharing a bottle in addition to sharing the crystal.

Nell begins: ] Does everyone have sex with corpses?

Do the Mortalitasi have sex with corpses?

Can I have sex with corpses?

Are there dead people in this tavern?

Are there dead people beneath this tavern?

Can I talk to the dead people?

Can you talk to the dead people? Are you a dead person?

If Andrastians elsewhere burn their dead to honor Andraste, because she was likewise burned, does that mean Nevarrans believe she was mummified and stashed somewhere?

Can I see mummified Andraste?

Can I see a mummified dragon?

Are there dragons at court? Does the king have a pet dragon?

Did the king kill his pet dragon?

Isn't the king a dragonslayer? Aren't all Pentaghasts dragonslayers?

Isn't everyone in Nevarra a Pentaghast?

What about necromancers, aren't you all necromancers?

Is the king a necromancer?

Is the king a dead person? And isn't Nevarra basically just Tevinter Junior?

The answer to all of these questions is no. Whatever obvious question we didn't include that you now want to ask us, the answer is also no. If you think it would be clever to make your question a negative so the answer will have to be yes, you are both wrong and obnoxious.

Comments

[galvanising]

And we all know what happens when we assume.

In fact just never say anything is better in Orlais.

[utulien_aure]

I'd present credentials for the first two, but I'm afraid I lost them in the Rift. The third, I hope, we can all agree to take on faith?

Art appreciation and avoiding the topic of Orlais, understood. Are there any other words of wisdom you'd be willing to impart?

[exequy]

[ That’s a very broad question, and Kostos—current evidence aside, because riffing with a friend doesn’t count, that’s easy—is not a particularly talkative person. Faced with the prospect of describing the nuances of an entire culture, or else trying to narrow down what it is this rifter might already know and what he only thinks he knows because he knew it in his world, with his average intelligence and basic manners, it’s much simpler to just say, ] No.

[ Maybe someone else will be more helpful. ]

[galvanising]

About the corpses: you can't have sex with them, but you also can't insult them. Many people do feel very strongly about the dead and their continuing relationship with them.

[utulien_aure]

[To Kostos, actually mostly sincerely. He's still new enough in Thedas not to want to turn down anything, even that little advice.] My thanks. If something does come to mind, please consider sharing.

[To Nell:] There is little honor in insulting the dead, my lady. Rest assured I have no intention to do so. But as this is a strange land to me, is there something specific about Nevarra's dead which I should take care not to comment upon?

private ;

[rowancrowned]

Allow others into the room first. After a greeting, speak only when spoken to, but meet their eyes. Nod. Smile.

Enough deference to soothe them, while still representing the Inquisition. Treat with them as you treated with the kings of Men. They are fragile, and proud. Do not remind them of their mortality.

private

[utulien_aure]

[An unexpected voice, bearing unexpected advice. And yet, it's in line with the world Fingon has seen these past few weeks, isn't it?

Not the easiest advice, though, for any scion of Finwe's line, brought up to have six opinions on any one matter and to feel the world is owed all of them. Fingon is going to have to mull it over carefully.]

I have a hard time imagining the Hadorians as fragile, [he muses absently,] but so many things seem to be different here.

I suppose earnest discussion of the Gift of Men is off the table as well?

forever private

[rowancrowned]

They are no Edain, [ he admits. ] I would name very few of them elf-friends, if any at all.

[ amused, his smirk travels through the crystals well enough. ]

Entirely, Fingon.