therookery | Crystal

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Kain
RECIPIENT: Everyone!
WHAT: Late night musings about troubling information
WHEN: Now-ish
WHERE: Wherever the griffons are at the moment (but the post is open to anyone anywhere of course!)
NOTES: Brooding warning always applies

It's a late hour, but... indulge me with your thoughts, if you will. [He can't sleep, which is a frequent occurrence. Thanks, Warden nightmares. Though this time, he's trying a different tactic than usual to beat the insomnia. Talking to the Crystal almost seems like a good idea, so why not?]

Is it worth believing in fate? Is life set in stone, a scripted play by the Maker that we're all simply acting in... or is it more open-ended than that? Could it be possible that even seemingly insignificant actions really can change what's to come? That even just one decision could drastically alter everything else in your life? I've... been wondering about this lately. What might my life had been if I'd become a Templar instead of a Warden, for instance? If my ancestors had settled in Ferelden instead of Orlais? So many possible ways in which it all might have turned out differently...

[The letters that Ser Coupe had delivered are really getting to him. He's spent hours pouring over them, analyzing everything from the words themselves to details such as the way the writing looks, or the paper it's written on. He's spent a lot of time just trying to read things that were scribbled out. The indirect warning from his future self was chilling, and... he thinks there may be a chance to alter it. Maybe. Maybe not. He's still thinking it over, wondering about the action that he could take next.]

If you had a chance to go back and change something about your life, would you?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It is, I believe it will be ready by the time of your arrival.

Yes, you are. And I would normally say you're entitled to be vague, but that doesn't allow me to understand or help you.

I'm glad to hear that. For their sake especially.

I know, forgive me, it's just... it's difficult to explain without sounding like a madman. I wish I could... but I don't know if I can. I fear for the future, though.

Have you ever heard of the Hour of the Wolf? It's the time between three and four in the morning, when you can't sleep and all you can see is the troubles and the problems and the ways that your life should have gone but didn't. All you can hear is the sound of your own heart.

I have been there, too, believe it or not. Sometimes, the harder your try to push away what is troubling you, the harder it pushes back. Sometimes you need it to stare you in the face for a while. But only a while. Don't allow it to be a constant; it's only an hour, not a lifetime.

I have... and I believe I've encountered said hour all too often. [He sighs, thinking about that, about how much it gets to him.]

How do you manage to stop and walk away from it? Because even if you do... it's still out there, still, as you say, staring. It doesn't ever go away, even if you manage some brief distraction.

It doesn't, but at the same time devoting so much attention to those issues only gives them more power. You must know that, without me having to say so. [And yet she does, because maybe he just needs to hear it aloud for it to sink in.]

Garahel is of some assistance. He doesn't allow me to become too mired in such thoughts. [There's a grunt of agreement from her canine companion, whose tail makes a thumping sound.] Ciri, as well...and others, whether they know it or not. [A little awkwardly said, and she rushes past it.] I manage to stop because I know that others are counting on me, that I'm not entirely alone even when I feel that way. Knowing that everyone else has their own demons and yet they keep going is inspirational in its own way.

I know, but... knowing and truly taking it to heart are different things. I'm not always the best at following this particular advice. [He does need to hear it. Somehow, it's easier to grasp when it's coming from someone else.]

I hadn't considered... but... yes. You're right. It's easy to feel alone in the middle of a long, sleepless night, but... you're right. We're never alone. One of many reasons why I knew the Wardens were right for me was because I knew I'd be part of something greater than myself. And that's true that we must keep ourselves going for the sake of others. I know that's why I... Well. There are certain people who matter more than most. Like yourself and Garahel.

[Garahel whines a little at that, wanting Kain to stop being so far away so he can be petted. Inessa strokes him, her own voice a bit warmer in response.]

If we can assist even at this distance, I'm glad to hear it. You ought to catch up to us at some point, however. At least by the end of the month, our efforts will have made this area more habitable.

[Kain feels bad that he can't be right there beside Garahel, though he wishes so much that he could be. But he'd wanted specifically to aid with the griffons so this is where he belongs right now.]

Yes... so I've been told as well. With so many already gone ahead, it's already not the same... so I'll look forward to joining you. Though once the griffons are there and settled... I may go off to explore for a time. Not a long trip, just getting some sense of the surrounding region, perhaps test my reaver skills a little at the same time.

Understood, though I suggest contacting me or gaining the company of another should you wish for a significant challenge. I would not have you succumb to injuries that could have been healed otherwise.

Of course, of course. Don't worry, I don't intend for this to go too far or anything of the sort. But, I would like some... alone time.

[Time in which to sort out all of his thoughts. He's definitely eager to explore the mountains too.]

[There's a soft chuckle of sympathy.]

Believe me, I understand. If I didn't get alone time every now and then, I would be far more irritable.

[There's a soft whine, and then her voice gentles.]

Oh, hush. You never count, you know that.

I've always appreciated that about you, Ness. You know full well why I must do... certain things, sometimes.

[He'll come long enough to move in, but he's much more interested in exploring and getting to know the area. As long as he has no outstanding missions or anything the Wardens may want of him, he'll be all set for it.]

And I can imagine no companion better than Garahel.

Crystal

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