wardeneructate: (The hell?)
Oghren ([personal profile] wardeneructate) wrote in [community profile] therookery2017-04-13 04:08 pm

Who let him have a crystal?

FORM: Crystal
SENDER: Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: Are the crystals meant for important things? Then why did you give one to Oghren?
WHEN: Now
WHERE: Kirkwall
NOTES: Oghren is his own content warning.


[The message opens up with the mother of all belches. Did he mean to do that? Probably. This is Oghren. Besides, he has your attention now, right? That means it served a purpose so he'll go with it.]

So everyone's been in a mood with this Kirkwall business. All that grumbling and brooding about. Not good for the health, if you ask me.

[One second. He's gotta take a drink. And that noise you might hear is the tavern. Because he's taking a break for drinks okay. That's allowed.]

Alright, here's what we're going to do. We're going to play a sodding game for some laughs. It works like this. I start off and I tell two truths and then one big bleeding lie. Then you guess which the lie is. Get it right and then it's your turn to give me two truths and a lie.

Sound good? Alright then let's see here... Ah wait hang on...

[LOUD FART.]

Ahhhh. Better. Here we go. One time I was in a hurry and rushed out wearing only my girl's drawers. Another time there was a bronto that tried to make me its mate. And another time I spent a night with a bunch of nugs that left food for me when I woke up.

Go on then. Which one is the lie? Game is open to everyone.
justice_is_blond: (Actually let's go with that idea)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Isabela, the pirate... never mind.

[He's not sure why he'd expect a guy who doesn't read much to know all that much about Hawke's crew, or why he'd expect a drunk guy to remember what Isabela had described as a passing meeting.]

You're right in which one is the lie, now, but you're wrong about why. It's been exactly ten who have tried to hire me. And exactly ten who have failed because I'm not some toy to be bought.
justice_is_blond: (Actually let's go with that idea)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
[He snorts. He'll sell his healing, but his body is for his own pleasure, not someone thinking they'll get it for a few coins.]

You're not currently seeing another dwarf. That's the lie.

[Oghren may have run away from his marriage, but Anders doesn't think he'd start something that's not casual.]
justice_is_blond: (Tell me another one)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 12:43 am (UTC)(link)
...There's an implication there, Oghren. I'm fairly certain that's dirty rather than clever.
justice_is_blond: (Actually let's go with that idea)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
Of course my mind is dirty, why do you think Nate stays with me? You said you had a dwarf you'd been seeing. Are you dating them, or was that deception?
justice_is_blond: (Stop in the name of)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
You said got, which is have, which is more than just looking at someone so I still think that counts as a lie because of the implication.
justice_is_blond: (Actually let's go with that idea)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 12:59 am (UTC)(link)
I have earned two swigs, and I will drink two. You meant to be deceptive with the phrasing, so it was meant as a lie. My phrasing, on the other hand, was very precise. I'm not going to play further if you're adding in an extra lie and pretending you didn't.
justice_is_blond: (Tell me another one)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 01:01 am (UTC)(link)
If cheating is a part of this game you should have said so upfront.
justice_is_blond: (Stop in the name of)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 01:14 am (UTC)(link)
I'll have my two drinks and you'll have your one. There was a deliberate implication with your choice of words and I'm not going to take another drink for hearing what you were saying.

There's word play, and then there's deception and that was it. And deception means lies. You lied twice and you're calling one a truth.
justice_is_blond: (Actually let's go with that idea)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
You do not 'got' another dwarf you are seeing. Perhaps you could have said there is another dwarf you're seeing, but you used something that's possessive and I caught you out on the lie.

I'm technically correct, so two.
justice_is_blond: (Actually let's go with that idea)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
Yes. I believe I am. I believe that's what I've been saying this whole time. The words you chose had meaning and I based my answer on that meaning.
justice_is_blond: (Actually let's go with that idea)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 04:25 am (UTC)(link)
It's a lie because your grammar was inaccurate.
justice_is_blond: (Stop in the name of)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
You lied. I caught it. By the rules, I won that round. If you even try to mess with my clothing you'll be having to walk off any injuries that aren't life-threatening for quite some time.

And you'll have made Nate upset as well, seeing as he shares the space I do.
justice_is_blond: (A small atonement)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond 2017-04-15 04:39 am (UTC)(link)
The sentence as you said it was a lie. Do not mess with my things. That's crossing a line.

[He doesn't have a lot, and what he does have he's tailored and worked on by hand.]

Let's just drop it, Oghren. I'm at two, you're at one. Game end.

(no subject)

[personal profile] justice_is_blond - 2017-04-15 04:48 (UTC) - Expand