A warning

[justice_is_blond]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Anders, Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: People are being warned
WHEN: Current!
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Oghren. Blue is Oghren, bold is Anders.

[There's a heavy sigh before he speaks; the first speaker, Anders, might be having some serious regrets.]

We've a new Warden, or rather an old Warden returned to the group, and I've a warning to issue: if you're challenged to a drinking contest with a particularly smelly dwarf, do not take it. The Wardens are not responsible for what happens if you decide to ignore this advice. Honestly, your best bet is to steer clear altoge--what are you drinking now?

[There's some bottles clinking together followed by a loud belch before Oghren speaks up.]

You need some better alcohol. This tastes worst than actual piss. Funny color to it too.

That's not... Maker's breath, Oghren, that's not for gulping down! Put the remnants of the potions down and stop messing with them! If you puke or you die, you better do it outside this tent. I'm not responsible for that either.

[There's more clinking as Anders gathers up what remnants he can.]

What are you going on about? That wasn't ale? [There's a pause.] My ancestors fat tits, what was that, sparkle fingers?

Who would keep ale in the healing tents? That was twenty doses of emetic. Now step outside, because you are not going to get sick in here.

[There's now a grumble and some rustling.] Never heard of keeping something good around for pain. Got to have those potions instead. Can't just have a good ale or something stronger. Got to be... [The sound trails off as he heads outside.]

[There's another heavy sigh. Anders sounds like he's already exhausted when he continues.]

Don't challenge him. Just don't. And if anyone listening cares to bring additional ghoul's beard to the healing tents, I'm in need of it.

Comments

[ombranera]

No self respecting dwarfess would name her child that. Then again I would have thought no self respecting dwarfess would bed you yet, here we are.

[wardeneructate]

Heh. Felsi liked having me in her bed. The beard tickled down there real good.

[Ahhhh. He misses those days.]

Kid's name is still Bartab.

[No it's not. Felsi would never let him get away with that.]

[ombranera]

That's not tickling, Oghren, that's becoming ensnared in one another's 'beards'.

[ A hilarious image to be fair. ]

Mhmm. Tell me, how is it you have not pickled yourself to unconsciousness just yet?

[wardeneructate]

That's the problem with you elves. You're so hairless you miss out on how good it is to get those hairs mixed up together.

[It's tragic really.]

Maybe I'm so fermented I'm immortal now. I sure took that Warden ritual well.

[ombranera]

I shall leave that particular joy to you and you alone, my friend.

[ Ah, the banter. It is almost as if it hasn't been a decade- strange that. ]

Did you not pass out as is custom?

[wardeneructate]

Course not. I'm pretty sure I've swallowed worse. Can't remember what it could be but I feel I have.

[ombranera]

Was there not the time you fell in a bog and swallowed some fetid water on your way out?

[wardeneructate]

Now you see this is the part where I have to ask you which time that one was.

[Shut up. Moving through bogs drunk is hard.]