A warning

[justice_is_blond]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Anders, Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: People are being warned
WHEN: Current!
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Oghren. Blue is Oghren, bold is Anders.

[There's a heavy sigh before he speaks; the first speaker, Anders, might be having some serious regrets.]

We've a new Warden, or rather an old Warden returned to the group, and I've a warning to issue: if you're challenged to a drinking contest with a particularly smelly dwarf, do not take it. The Wardens are not responsible for what happens if you decide to ignore this advice. Honestly, your best bet is to steer clear altoge--what are you drinking now?

[There's some bottles clinking together followed by a loud belch before Oghren speaks up.]

You need some better alcohol. This tastes worst than actual piss. Funny color to it too.

That's not... Maker's breath, Oghren, that's not for gulping down! Put the remnants of the potions down and stop messing with them! If you puke or you die, you better do it outside this tent. I'm not responsible for that either.

[There's more clinking as Anders gathers up what remnants he can.]

What are you going on about? That wasn't ale? [There's a pause.] My ancestors fat tits, what was that, sparkle fingers?

Who would keep ale in the healing tents? That was twenty doses of emetic. Now step outside, because you are not going to get sick in here.

[There's now a grumble and some rustling.] Never heard of keeping something good around for pain. Got to have those potions instead. Can't just have a good ale or something stronger. Got to be... [The sound trails off as he heads outside.]

[There's another heavy sigh. Anders sounds like he's already exhausted when he continues.]

Don't challenge him. Just don't. And if anyone listening cares to bring additional ghoul's beard to the healing tents, I'm in need of it.

Comments

[doneisdone]

Brilliant.

[limier]

[ the most wanted mage in southern thedas: ]

'Sparklefingers'.

[ ... she might be enjoying this a little too much ]

[circleprodigy]

[Oh sweet Maker.]

I can snag some from the gardens on my way.

Oghren...you mean Warden Cousland's companion from the Fifth Blight? And he's...really a Warden?

[You sure? You can take that back, Anders, no one will hold it against you.]

[sunshinethroughgrey]

OH. He's still alive!

... I really thought he had fallen off a cliff while drunk.

[Because there was no way the Anders Wardens had been able to get to the legend of Oghren.]

Ah, yes, speaking of -- are you free soonish?

[justice_is_blond]

Teren. Would you like a dwarf? I'm sure you'd like a dwarf. Please.

[wardeneructate]

[Sometime after that bottle incident has passed.........]

Heh. I sure am.

[She's not talking about you, Oghren.]

[doneisdone]

By the sound of it, there are few things I'd like less.

[not_the_question]

You do realise that sounded less like a warning and more like a threat, right?

[Because, yeah. That's the important part to focus on. To be honest, the rest didn't matter to the Doctor, he doesn't care for the class system here and he's not in a place to help with the emetic.]

[wardeneructate]

[Once he has been saved from whatever the hell he's done to himself. (Thank whoever that he's so fermented that he probably can't die ever.)]

Sure. He's got those fingers that sparkle when he doesn't use that stick. Wiggles them about and woooooo magic.

[justice_is_blond]

[...there are worse things Oghren could have said, at least.]

An... older nickname. Yes. Related to magic, incidentally.

[wardeneructate]

[He may feel as if he's thrown up everything he's had since he was born but hey he's alive and freshly drunk. Because that's just how you handle things like that right? Purge then refresh?]

That's right. One of those companions and definitely a Warden.

[He laughs a bit.]

Didn't even pass out from the drink.

[justice_is_blond]

Thank you, and yes. I do mean him. He passed out outside the camp earlier.

[limier]

Wooooooo. [ hello new best friend ] Quite.

It was the fashion of Val Royeaux, some few years' past, to mix — ah, what is the word? — glitter, with one's soaps and such.

[ hang on she's going somewhere with this ]

I believe that I might perhaps lay hands on some yet.

[wardeneructate]

[Good news! He survived the purge! Bad news! He's still gross.]

I'm free for a pretty voice like that anytime you like.

[justice_is_blond]

Right, but think about saving me...

[doneisdone]

Dear heart, you know I'd do anything for you.

Except this.

[wardeneructate]

[WELL the emetic didn't kill him. It'll take more than that to pull that off.]

He's a lightweight. Can't keep up with me. So he's thinking no one else can either.

[limier]

Yes, the woooooo, as I am told. I do like it better than your current ones,

[ those tend also to be related to magic ]

Ought I address Warden Sparklefingers, then?

[justice_is_blond]

We all had.

[He sighs.]

I'll be free in a few hours, provided he doesn't die.

[wardeneructate]

Sounds like torture. You can keep that sudsy mess away from me. Got to keep my smell to woo the ladies.

[He gives a chuckle that suggests he's thinking dirty thoughts.]

[limier]

A terrible fate it should be to lose it, if you've no sparkling fingers of your own.

[ charming as a druffalo ass ]

Tell me, do the Wardens still house in the valley?

[justice_is_blond]

...I don't care, so long as no one decides to be stupid. I don't care to deal with five alcohol poisoning cases a day again.

[doneisdone]

Don't speak to me.

[wardeneructate]

Far as I know. Just got here. Sounds about right though.

[He gives a snort then there's the sound of him spitting and muttering something about how that stuff sure gets up the nose.]

Were you wanting to visit my tent?

[circleprodigy]

[So much for that. Her tone is a little dry, but she doesn't sigh over the crystal. Manners still count for something, or they ought do.]

He was fortunate you were there, then. I'm certain you can assist far better than what passes for a cure at the tavern.

[She's heard stories about their revival/hangover cures, though has never needed them or would go to anywhere but the healing tents if she did.]

Do you need anything else, while I'm at the garden?