A warning

[justice_is_blond]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Anders, Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: People are being warned
WHEN: Current!
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Oghren. Blue is Oghren, bold is Anders.

[There's a heavy sigh before he speaks; the first speaker, Anders, might be having some serious regrets.]

We've a new Warden, or rather an old Warden returned to the group, and I've a warning to issue: if you're challenged to a drinking contest with a particularly smelly dwarf, do not take it. The Wardens are not responsible for what happens if you decide to ignore this advice. Honestly, your best bet is to steer clear altoge--what are you drinking now?

[There's some bottles clinking together followed by a loud belch before Oghren speaks up.]

You need some better alcohol. This tastes worst than actual piss. Funny color to it too.

That's not... Maker's breath, Oghren, that's not for gulping down! Put the remnants of the potions down and stop messing with them! If you puke or you die, you better do it outside this tent. I'm not responsible for that either.

[There's more clinking as Anders gathers up what remnants he can.]

What are you going on about? That wasn't ale? [There's a pause.] My ancestors fat tits, what was that, sparkle fingers?

Who would keep ale in the healing tents? That was twenty doses of emetic. Now step outside, because you are not going to get sick in here.

[There's now a grumble and some rustling.] Never heard of keeping something good around for pain. Got to have those potions instead. Can't just have a good ale or something stronger. Got to be... [The sound trails off as he heads outside.]

[There's another heavy sigh. Anders sounds like he's already exhausted when he continues.]

Don't challenge him. Just don't. And if anyone listening cares to bring additional ghoul's beard to the healing tents, I'm in need of it.

Comments

[issala]

...wow. That's... poor guy.

[justice_is_blond]

I'd agree, but no one asked him to start drinking his way through the potions. Or invited him.

[issala]

Why would there even be anything but healing potions and healing things in the healing area anyway?

[justice_is_blond]

Because if a child has just eaten poisonous berries because they were colorful and the child didn't know better, their frantic parent will bring them to the healing tent where we'll have that on hand. Brewing it takes hours, and seconds matter in those cases.

[issala]

No, no, I get that, just not why he thought there would be anything worth drinking like that.

[justice_is_blond]

Oh. Because he's Oghren.

[issala]

Oooooh... so it's really that Oghren?

[justice_is_blond]

Yes. The Oghren who worked with Alistair and Zevran and the others, and who then worked with Nate and myself and others.

[issala]

That's awesome. So many old heroes coming to help!

[justice_is_blond]

Mm. Yes.

[He... doesn't count under that, not anymore. But it's not Kas' fault Anders suddenly sounds a little quiet.]

I'm glad he's survived. Even if he gets rather disgusting fairly often.

[issala]

[He will always count under that for Kas, despite the badness that came with it. The boy likes his stories.]

...better keep him away from the maraas-lok.

[justice_is_blond]

[The boy is an excellent friend.]

You've mentioned it on the crystals now, which means he'll try it. Frankly, considering what I've seen him drink, I think he might be fine. But we'll see.

[issala]

He might be... we just want to save it since it's been a while since we got some sent over.

[justice_is_blond]

Then I'd hide it very, very well. And lock it up. He's not skilled with lockpicking.

[issala]

Hah! I'll warn Korrin.

[wardeneructate]

Maraas-lok, huh? Heh. I'll take some of that.

[issala]

If we have any, I guess you could have some. The Vashoth and Tal-Vashoth here are kind of protective of it, though.

[wardeneructate]

I'm protective of my stuff too. Don't want anyone touching it unless I share it. But I bet I could get my hands on this delicious alcohol anyway.

[issala]

Maybe if you charm Korrin or Taashath!

[wardeneructate]

I'm a charming dwarf. Haven't you heard?

[issala]

I dunno, girls are kinda special in what they think is charming, and the big guy won't hear you.

[wardeneructate]

I've had no problems with the ladies. [That's a lie.] Even been married twice. [Okay, that's true.]

He won't hear me?

[issala]

Really? [Did it count when you were married twice, or was that proof of the opposite?] I didn't know Wardens could marry.

...and yeah, I think his hearing is bad or something.

[wardeneructate]

Didn't you know? We have mass weddings every year. All the Wardens find someone and they go out in the wilderness then strip naked as a nug. You go and you hammer anvils for awhile. Then a year later it happens all again.

Seen more than my fair sure of things way.

[Kas. He's full of shit.]

[justice_is_blond]

I'm wed to Nate.