A warning

[justice_is_blond]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Anders, Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: People are being warned
WHEN: Current!
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Oghren. Blue is Oghren, bold is Anders.

[There's a heavy sigh before he speaks; the first speaker, Anders, might be having some serious regrets.]

We've a new Warden, or rather an old Warden returned to the group, and I've a warning to issue: if you're challenged to a drinking contest with a particularly smelly dwarf, do not take it. The Wardens are not responsible for what happens if you decide to ignore this advice. Honestly, your best bet is to steer clear altoge--what are you drinking now?

[There's some bottles clinking together followed by a loud belch before Oghren speaks up.]

You need some better alcohol. This tastes worst than actual piss. Funny color to it too.

That's not... Maker's breath, Oghren, that's not for gulping down! Put the remnants of the potions down and stop messing with them! If you puke or you die, you better do it outside this tent. I'm not responsible for that either.

[There's more clinking as Anders gathers up what remnants he can.]

What are you going on about? That wasn't ale? [There's a pause.] My ancestors fat tits, what was that, sparkle fingers?

Who would keep ale in the healing tents? That was twenty doses of emetic. Now step outside, because you are not going to get sick in here.

[There's now a grumble and some rustling.] Never heard of keeping something good around for pain. Got to have those potions instead. Can't just have a good ale or something stronger. Got to be... [The sound trails off as he heads outside.]

[There's another heavy sigh. Anders sounds like he's already exhausted when he continues.]

Don't challenge him. Just don't. And if anyone listening cares to bring additional ghoul's beard to the healing tents, I'm in need of it.

Comments

[wontforgetyou]

So he'll not smell like a bonny bunch of heather then. Fair enough.

[He's still not entirely convinced that the smell part of things is all that bad, but he'll take Anders's word for it.]

Think if he drank that potion of yours I might see where there's some questionable choices. You sure that's not to someone else's benefit in a drinking contest, though?

[justice_is_blond]

He can drink anything, and more than anyone I've ever known, by a large margin. He'll beat anyone trying to contest him with drinking, and we'll have the work of saving their lives. No one benefits from trying that against Oghren.

[It's the simple facts of the matter.]

[wontforgetyou]

And he's not died from it yet? I'm no so sure I believe that. Is his stomach made of metal or something?

[justice_is_blond]

I've begun to wonder. He drinks more than anyone else I've ever seen, and survives it as well without an issue at all. There's no explanation that I can come up with, and I've healed him previously.

[wontforgetyou]

Huh. I'm guessing by that you mean you've healed him of other things, then, and not anything caused by his drinking. Was he always like that?

[justice_is_blond]

That's what I mean. And yes. He's always been like this, for as long as I've known him and even in the stories Jonas told about previously working with Oghren.

[wontforgetyou]

Aye, well, given that, I'd reckon those have to be some...ah...interesting stories.

[And ones he's not entirely certain aren't going to be repeated, given what he's heard so far.]

Sure you'll be able to deal with him being around again?

Private

[justice_is_blond]

[He chuckles.]

He's got his flaws, and they're... very visible. But Oghren is the sort that has your back through anything, and when the someone needing people there is me, you find those sorts even more invaluable than you did before.

Private

[wontforgetyou]

Aye, I know what you mean. It's no so easy to find that sort of person around, is it? Think it's a good thing he's here, then, flaws and all.

And ah...maybe you're right about that drinking part of things. Especially if he's wanting to drink that dwarven ale stuff he'd mentioned.

Private

[justice_is_blond]

I've come across a few. And I've been lucky to find each and every one of them that I have.

...And of course I'm right about the drinking part of things. I've experience.

[wontforgetyou]

I'll not argue with you there either.

[On either part.]

...Sounds like there might be a story behind that last one, though. Don't suppose you'd care to share that one sometime?

[justice_is_blond]

[He chuckles.]

Over a drink or few, yes. Though we'll have to pick which story you want to hear.

[wontforgetyou]

That many to choose from, then?

[justice_is_blond]

I served with him for several months, and then another one of our group had served with him for a time before that. Oghren... has habits.

Still Private

[wontforgetyou]

Think that there might have to be more than one go around with the drinks, in that case.

...And maybe some of those blooming onion things if I can talk someone into making them.

Forever Private

[justice_is_blond]

Aren't they... When they start blooming, isn't that when you should plant them, not eat them?

[wontforgetyou]

Aye, that's what I thought, too. Turns out it's a name for a food. You take a large onion, cut it up to look like a big flower and batter and fry it. There's a sort of spicy sauce that goes with it, too.

[justice_is_blond]

I'd not heard of that before. Now I think I'd like to try it. Where did you hear of it?

[wontforgetyou]

Ah, Church mentioned it when we were talking about food we could introduce at the tavern, maybe. Cosima knew about it too, so I'd wager it's something from Earth. Just something that's after my time, that's all.

[justice_is_blond]

I'll forever be intrigued by your world having a different name than ours. We're both human, but you've Earth and we've Thedas.

Though if you don't have blooming onions and Church and Cosima do, does that mean your Earth is different, somehow?

[wontforgetyou]

Aye, it's odd, isn't it? Think with the onions, though, it's that no-one'd thought to do anything exactly like that yet in my day. I am from a few hundred years earlier than Cosima is, you know. Church, too, although I'm not as sure how long it is there.

[justice_is_blond]

I didn't know.

[There's even a little surprise in his voice.]

So you could be from the same sort of Earth, but simply earlier? Does going home from here, if we find a way to return you, risk messing with the history of their world?

[wontforgetyou]

[This time, it's Jamie's turn to sound a bit surprised - he's not really thought about that before, and it comes through in his voice.]

Ah...don't know, actually. I always thought if there was a way to go back, it'd be to the point where we left, and I wasn't exactly on Earth at the time.

[justice_is_blond]

You... weren't on Earth? Were you in space like Kirk? Does everyone on Earth get to leave their planet?

[wontforgetyou]

Ah, no, I was on the Doctor's planet. I'd not say everyone gets to leave, though. Just...say, how many people have you met that've gotten to do that out of the rifters, anyway?