A warning

[justice_is_blond]

FORM: Sending crystal
SENDER: Anders, Oghren
RECIPIENT: Everyone
WHAT: People are being warned
WHEN: Current!
WHERE: Skyhold
NOTES: Oghren. Blue is Oghren, bold is Anders.

[There's a heavy sigh before he speaks; the first speaker, Anders, might be having some serious regrets.]

We've a new Warden, or rather an old Warden returned to the group, and I've a warning to issue: if you're challenged to a drinking contest with a particularly smelly dwarf, do not take it. The Wardens are not responsible for what happens if you decide to ignore this advice. Honestly, your best bet is to steer clear altoge--what are you drinking now?

[There's some bottles clinking together followed by a loud belch before Oghren speaks up.]

You need some better alcohol. This tastes worst than actual piss. Funny color to it too.

That's not... Maker's breath, Oghren, that's not for gulping down! Put the remnants of the potions down and stop messing with them! If you puke or you die, you better do it outside this tent. I'm not responsible for that either.

[There's more clinking as Anders gathers up what remnants he can.]

What are you going on about? That wasn't ale? [There's a pause.] My ancestors fat tits, what was that, sparkle fingers?

Who would keep ale in the healing tents? That was twenty doses of emetic. Now step outside, because you are not going to get sick in here.

[There's now a grumble and some rustling.] Never heard of keeping something good around for pain. Got to have those potions instead. Can't just have a good ale or something stronger. Got to be... [The sound trails off as he heads outside.]

[There's another heavy sigh. Anders sounds like he's already exhausted when he continues.]

Don't challenge him. Just don't. And if anyone listening cares to bring additional ghoul's beard to the healing tents, I'm in need of it.

Comments

[wardeneructate]

[There's some snorting here because he's still getting this stuff out of his nose. You know...how it just works right on up in there and get stuck? Yep. That's the issue here.]

Because it looks like this camp is boring and quiet and that needs some fixing.

[blightedson]

I've not noticed it being too boring, but then that might be because I don't mind a little boring.

[wardeneructate]

One of those types, huh?

[He is pretty sure that boring is not a good thing, young man.]

[blightedson]

I'm Tevinter. Have you seen what we consider excitement?

[wardeneructate]

He says that like I know much of anything about what all the surface dwellers have gotten up to in all their countries.

[blightedson]

Well, that's a good point. I shouldn't assume everyone has been told horror stories about Tevinter parties.

[wardeneructate]

Probably wouldn't horrify me as much as you think. I was born and raised near the Deep Roads.

[blightedson]

That's highly possible.

You're one of the men who helped the Hero fight the Blight, aren't you?

[wardeneructate]

Still not used to that whole hero reputation. I was one of the wardens recruited at Vigil's Keep too. Fought the mother thing.

[He chuckles.]

Lot of nipples on that one.

[blightedson]

I've heard more about that since my Joining.

The stories that make it up north are usually a bit... slanted.

[wardeneructate]

Slanted? Did they say it only had two? I can tell you there were nipples all over the place.

[blightedson]

[He chuckles a bit at that.] I will take your word on the number of nipples. I'm sure you were close enough to count before you killed it.

[wardeneructate]

Heh. I've always got time to count those up before a killing. You have to make sure you pay attention to the important things.

[blightedson]

And nipples are vital.

[wardeneructate]

That they are. That they are.

[brb...daydreaming of lady nips...]